Dark Romance by Siofra

My fingers pull back on the long hanging blinds and i watching slip from my fingers as the clatter back together. In the background there is music playing from my computer, its a random play list. Right now my computer seems to have selected some painful songs.

I find myself thinking about about the past few years. My journey through the lifestyle. Through it I have found many who i feel a kindred spirit. There have also been those I have and still do love.

I can't help though as i look at the still moving blinds, remind me of those D/s relationships that also have slipped through my fingers. Some i have rejected, many who I have rejected. I am a dark romantic. Its why i have always identified as gothic. It seems all my relationships both D/s and non D/s reflect this.

I remember the first girl I considered, how deep in my heart I wondered if she would stay around. Because I had observed her. However in my youth and impatience I took her into my arms and love her. The first month was beautiful, we spend most of our time together. Then she slowly seemed to fade away. It was as if i awoke to my favorite Teddy bear without its stuffing. I cried, i was angered....but intime I moved on and slowly started to look again.

It wouldn't been but years until I met another this time on Second Life. we had that instant connection. Once again in bliss I felt she was to devoted, to willing to serve. This time i took her in but at arms length. I pushed her to search in her area. I could heard the pain and confusion in her. She felt me pushing her away. Part of me did, and part of me wanted to pull her tigher. In the end I waved good bye for the moment. I knew i helped her, while wounding my heart again.

I get the music change again, and the blind have stilled. It remind me of the quiet still of water before the storm. Now I sit at crossroads. There are a few girls here at Dominion who are special, each one I get to know i smile at their earnest trys to who they are wanting to be that girl for me.

I'm scared.

I don't want to wound any of them, and i pine for each at the same time. This feeling is painful, but because of who I find it beautiful.

I'm Hopeful.

For when I close my eyes and extend my fingers down. i can feel the softness of her hair curling at my finger tips, knowing she wants to feel more of my touch.

My one submissive, the one I can guide, play, tease, and Love.

I wait.