Saturday, January 21, 2012
The List by Anonymous
The List
I am a man that visits Second Life. I am a submissive, I need to feel the control, the guidance of a strong female. In the world of SL I met a great Domme, a Woman who’s mind always seems to be one step ahead of me. For the sake of this story let’s call Her Miss Bunny.
I could call Miss Bunny my Mistress once, but i treated Her wrong and lost that privilege. Now Miss Bunny keeps me at Her Second Life place under strict rules, training my obedience, giving me a chance to improve and show Her I i am worthy to serve Her. She never gave me permission to talk to others, I knew I wasn’t supposed to, but still I did. I confided in a female friend, someone Miss Bunny had never met. I told her about how i was being treated, about how Miss Bunny trained me, what She made me do. I breached Miss Bunny’s trust.
Needless to say, when Miss Bunny found out, she was furious. She locked me in a cage, the privileges of speech in any form were taken from me, my screen went black. That wasn’t enough for her, She wanted to make me realize how deep i had breached her trust. She decided to give me a task that would make me focus on my servitude to Her.
“You will make a list of 100 things in SL and RL you can offer me to convince me not to throw you out like the disposable whore you are. “
Of course it had to be a mistake, how could i come up with 100 things to offer Her?
“Since its a long list and i don’t want it to be bullshit you have 48 hours.”
*Holy Shit*, She was serious! i had to come up with a list of 100 things to offer Her. If i failed, She would throw me out. This Domme is the one Person in SL that can give me what I need, that can make me feel what I need as a submissive, I didn’t want that to happen. “Get to work!” were her last words, after that she almost completely ignored me for the duration of the task.
I don’t know what magic Miss Bunny uses, but I am defenseless against Her will. Some say submission is a choice, but when she speaks to me something happens inside, I accept Her rule as a natural fact. She seems to be able to make me feel however she wants. Being reprimanded I felt bad, but from the moment she had given me this task i also started to feel nervous, very, very nervous. i had to complete this list, i had to complete it in time! Never once my mind stopped to rationalize , the list would be the reality i lived in for 48 hours.
What can a slave offer to a Domme? The first few offers were easy; control over SL every function a viewer offers in SL, i relinquished complete control over every function i could come up with. Miss Bunny commented on me not logging in for 18 hours on top of everything else. i had been sleeping, had gone to work, in between i worked on the blog She makes me keep. I knew She would be asleep at the time i worked on my blog, so why log on when i knew i wouldn’t see Her?
Her comment told me i was expected to report to Her in the main place where we meet, SL. It wasn’t about *me* seeing Her, it was about showing Her i was available to Her control, regardless if She would be there or not. i offered different ways of reporting to Her in, my days would start and end acknowledging Her control over me. With it i offered control over how, when and how long i would be allowed in SL. It brought me to around 30 offers, the task seemed undoable.
My computer was running all day. Every waking moment the list was the first thing on my mind. i kept an eye on the clock all day, nervously counting down the hours as i drove myself mad thinking what offers i could make. Slowly, very slowly the list grew. I made offers of how to serve Her, i made offers to give up control, but i made sure the offers stayed within my comfort zone. It brought me to 75 offers… i had to make real sacrifices if i wanted to complete this task, and i did. i had no idea what Miss Bunny would do with the list, if She intended to accept everything i offered. This list would come back to haunt me. For now, the list succeeded in making me focus on servitude and submission to Her.
The list was completed with a few hours to spare, i had made it! I hadn’t failed Her again, i accomplished the task She had set me! Miss Bunny stopped ignoring me again. I apologized to Miss Bunny for treating Her wrong. She asked me to explain in my own words what it was i had done wrong and what i was apologizing for. i felt like a little boy, but inside i had no choice but to obey and i explained. i had learned my lesson, punishment was finally over.
Why would i work nervously on a list for 48 hours? What gave someone the power and the authority to make me do this, to make me feel like i had the past 2 days? I only thought about that *after* i completed the list. From the moment Miss Bunny told me to do this assignment, i had stopped thinking about anything else. i am powerless against Her will.
Miss Bunny hasn’t reviewed the list yet. She is a busy person, i know She also wants to show me that if something is as important to me as “The List”, it doesn’t mean it has to be important to Her. She will decide when it is time to give feedback on the list, not me.
i know the RL and SL offers i had to make will come back to haunt me some day.
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