Confession by EllieShea

What one person may take as a simple question, others may view as something worse. And well, I'm ashamed to admit that I tend to look for the bad in things. I'll quickly blame my own insecurities for it, but I'm coming to a point where I know better. This weekend I was asked a personal question, one that was hard for me to answer and then I was asked why I was at the Dominion. Instead of realizing that the Ladies may have actually been curious about me or getting to know me, I got defensive and felt like I wasn't wanted around. I know better.

The problem is, though, point of view can horrible change a simple question of "What are you doing at Dominion?" into "You're not welcome here." by the wrong mind. I'm actually very sad, for myself, that I felt that way. I've never had any reason to feel anything other than welcomed.

The simple truth is this: I can't explain my sexuality in an eloquent way. Speaking about it in public makes me nervous, because I'm afraid people won't understand, that someone will laugh and poke fun at me. I like boys, and I like girls, but I think they're very different emotions, but the same. I identify as being "mostly straight" or maybe pansexual. The problem is, I'm twenty-one years old and still learning who i am.

Now, I'm mostly straight, but I'm at Dominion, and for some, knowing that I'm a sub, that may not make any sense. I've only ever explored the sexual side of a D/s relationship, and recently, I've decided I want to learn more. I'm lucky enough to be under the protection of a Mistress who wants the same and is willing to help me learn. I only hope I can inspire her and bring her as much happiness as she brings me. When I come to Dominion, I come for the community, the sense of safety, and the knowledge that I feel like I am always walking away learning something new.