Who are you? - Anonymous Domme

"I'm releasing you", I say.

"Very well" you reply.

My stomach is in knots, my mouth is dry. You don't even beg forgiveness. You are cold, detached.
Hot, salty tears stream down my face and all you can say is "Very well". Your stupid fucking pride again.

I log on to SL and eject you from my family group. I remove you from my profile...taking one last look at the words I wrote about you before I click 'delete'. I am crying.

You log on later and the message, "....XX..has runaway" is sent to my IM. You obviously put on another, older collar of mine because I get the message, "You are no longer owner of ..XX ". I am still crying.

I'm so angry with you. I miss you. I want you. I never want to see you again. I hate you. I love you. I'm out of control.
Where is the boy who I loved and who worshipped the virtual ground I walked on? Did he ever really exist? Perhaps only in my head.

A week later, we try to talk. You play with words, denying what I say, telling me i am wrong and it's not what it seems. You are hurting too, but I am the victim here. How dare you want my sympathy?! How dare you share my pain? You betrayed me. You hurt me just as if you stabbed me with a knife. My avatar doesn't bleed. My avatar doesn't cry but I do.

Even after the initial anger, even a week later when things should be calmer, we still can't talk, it just becomes a battleground again.

I'm crying.

It's over. It's really over. You are gone.

Who are you anyway?