Confessions of a Voyeur 1 - Behind the eyes - Miss Rinay

INTRODUCTION
When I originally heard about this event 'Confessions' I thought to myself it would be fun to listen and read. Since then I have in fact attended a couple of the events and did just that. However, when I was approached by Zarita and asked to write, I couldn't seem to think of anything. As always I want to help out Dominion in any way I can. I knew I was more than capable of coming up with something, just couldn't think of what. Then it finally hit me.... the one part of my life I don't usually talk about openly, is my voyeuristic thoughts, tendencies and fantasies. So... I will be starting a "series" of confessions based around my thoughts, mindset, experiences and fantasies as a Voyeur. I am about to read my first 'episode' which I have titled "Behind The Eyes".

Confessions of a Voyeur
"Ep. 1 - Behind the eyes"
By Miss Rinay
09/25/2010

Starting as early as childhood I have always been fascinated watching people. Observing. Analyzing. Learning. I would become completely engrossed just watching normal every day activity for hours on end. Having been appropriately diagnosed with A.D.D. at the age of 5, this was quite abnormal behavior. However, knowing how much activity was going on in my mind, explains how it is in fact able to keep my focus for such long periods of time. Watching people talking to eachother, observing their body language. Trying to figure out what their life may be like, their personality, what their reasons are for being wherever they are, and what it is they are in fact doing and why. Curious what the person is thinking, the relationship between them and whomever they are with.

While out in public those with me, friends or family have made comment to me to "stop staring". I would always retort with some comment about how I wasn't staring and then I would make an effort stop, but it was very hard for me. The "curiousity" as I called it then was just too great, I was drawn to watch. I began teaching myself how to watch people discreetly without being noticably so.

Sitting and analyzing people, has always been something I do enjoy... so many questions, plausable possibilities, but no definate answers. A common scenario of me watching is in a vanilla setting is at a restaurant. A man and a woman there, sitting opposite sides of the table. The woman is mature, possibly in her mid to late 40's definately keeps after herself. Her hair and makeup clearly took some time to make it just so. Her outfit quite sexy, showing cleavage and complimenting her every curve but still classy. The man, sitting there across from her, looks much younger. Possibly early to mid 30's. His hair is neatly trimmed, a bit of what looks like gel in his hair, clean shaven. He is wearing a button up collared shirt that seems to be made of satin. Many questions run thru my mind. Are they married? she's wearing a ring on her wedding finger and he isn't. Are they having an affair? I wonder if she is a working woman, or if she is a stay at home wife. The man looks to be successful, but a bit young to be an executive. Analyzing their body language.... I notice they are smiling quite a bit, the woman seems a bit flirty. The man is very hard to read, but he does seem nervous. Are they maybe related? I start to look at them more closely, to see if there are any similiar facial features. I notice that yes, they both seem have the same eye color, and seem to share the some facial features. They could very easily be siblings. The woman being the older sister. But I would never know thetruth, always wonder. My attention would then move to another table, analyzing the people sitting there, and asking myself certain questions, possibly answering them myself by different observations. This type of voyeurism is always active in me... whenever I spend time in public.

There is also another side to my voyeurism that is not nearly as vanilla and although my experiences with such are much lower in number, they do in fact feed a more intense side of my voyeurism to the point where it is a fetish. This fetish side grew when I was a bit older, starting in my early years of high school. On more than one occasion I found myself watching friends having sex . One scenario in particular.... I was staying the night at a friends house and her boyfriend sneaks into the bedroom thru the window. They both make attempts to stay quiet as I am "sleeping" across the room... or so they think. My eyes stay closed for the most part, just listening not moving. They make very quiet noises, as to not distrupt my slumber but even then I am able to hear their excited breathing, softly whispering things to eachother, the bed creeking as they move around. After a bit of shuffling and soft giggling the bed begins to creek methodically and soft "slapping" sounds being to erupt from that side off the room. It does excite me as there is no mistaking the fact that they are are in fact having sex now. The fact that I am witnessing this moment in secret while thought to be sleeping makes it all the more arrousing. Still listening intently, I become brave as it seems they are quite distracted with their own actions I open my eyes just a bit, and look across the room. My eyes begin to adjust as there is a slight glow in of light cast in the room from the moonlight coming in thru the window. Just enough light for me to make out their bodies. I can't see much other than a moving mass under blankets. My clit begins to tingle as I can see this now. Their actions themselves are very basic sex, but the fact of watching them, excited me.... The blanket begins to slide down to reveal his back, and his bare ass as he is pumping in and out of the girl, her legs wrapped around his thighs. My clit tingling again as I know they havent a clue that I am in fact very awake and watching this sexy display. Once they finish, they collaps for a short cuddle and I close my eyes once again. Still listening as they say sweet nothings to eachother, then he dresses and leaves out the window from whence he came. Letting out a deep sigh, I begin to recount the images and sounds in my mind, catalogging them as I fall to sleep.

Even though I do become sexually arroused during my voyeuristic fetish experiences, I have never pleasured myself physically during one. In my mind I recieve a much more intense and very different stimulation, something a physical climax itself could never give me. Watching in itself is exciting, but the thought of watching secretly is all the more intense.

This concludes my "Behind the eyes" confession. Hoping to bring an in depth journey to those who have been listening, to learn a bit of what it is like to be a Voyeur. My next confession episodes will include fantasies as well as realities, that I have as a Voyeur. I will also bring about how my Second Life attributes to Voyeurism.