Confession By Lady Tora

"YOU DID WHAT?!!"

I shakingly typed onto the screen, struggling to remember how to breathe. My vision blurred a little and I suddenly didn't know what to say or do. And to a control freak like me, that is the scariest feeling.

I stared at my computer, wishing the words he had typed to cause this reaction would somehow magically changed into something else. I blinked and shook my head, trying to calm myself. I looked at the screen again. Nope. They were still there.

"I was talking to a new Domme on the weekend and I told her that my Mistress is interested in watching a Domme with me..."

A flood of emotions surged through me and I struggled to make sense of them.

"Why you are talking to other Dommes?" I typed into the chat. I purposely breathed in through my nose and exhaled through my mouth, waiting on his reply. Relax I kept telling myself. My natural urge to kill and ask questions later barely contained.

"I only talked to her. The conversation that we had that you were interested in watching a Domme watch us and possibly you watch her. And this one is the only one that I talked too and she's new and wants to learn from you.....I don't want you thinking that I was talking to a whole bunch because I wasn't."

I sat stunned for another moment, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Was this some dumb horrible joke or was he really that stupid? He didn't really answer the question but in the interest of gaining control, I ignored it and forged on. I could feel myself shaking and I was not sure if was fear or anger; maybe it was both.

"Why did you not talk to me about this first?"

"We did talk about this last week..."

I growled at the screen, my fingernails gripping the desk. The emotion of anger winning and flaring to the surface like molten lava in a barely dormant volcano. If I was an atomic bomb, the blast radius would have been the size of the continental US.

My fingers banged on the keys of the laptop; hard tattoo that matched my fast beating heart.

"Yes... we had one conversation about FANTASIES and I don't recall saying EVER Mine, go ahead and contact a Domme YOU like. What you should have done was say BEFORE you talked to her, Mistress, check out so and so... I would like to contact her regarding the situation we talked about... is that OK with you?!"

I growled again before my fingers flew at the keys once more; beating out the words like I was hitting him and not the keyboard.

What the fuck was he thinking?! How dare he share such personal information with someone he didn't really know let alone I didn't know or trust.

"We also talked about you being with another man in that same conversation but did you go out and contact another sub too?!"

"Would you like to contact her? I said to her she would have to go to you if you wanted to talk...." was his answer.

OMFG! He really is that stupid. I palmed my face, reminding myself that throwing the laptop across the room was not going to accomplish anything. Again my fingers angrily attacked the keys.

"Fuck Mine... FOCUS - We are not discussing if I am interested or not - We are discussing the fact that you contacted another Domme without asking about it FIRST."

"I want you to know that I am so comfortable with you...I can talk to you about anything...I want you to know that....and I don't hide anything from you. But you are mad at me...I explained myself and yes should have talked to you first.....you are the one and only Mistress....trust me...you are amazing to me."

I tried to remember how to breathe properly again. My chest hurt and all of my muscles seemed to tense. My anger had reached a boiling point. I was going to kill.

"I am happy that we are open and honest and I am glad you told me but FUCK MINE - STOP FUCKING THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF - because that is exactly what you were doing when you contacted her... you were not thinking about me and making me better... You were bloody well thinking about getting fucked by someone else."

With that the anger let go and the room began to spin. I suddenly felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me. A huge gaping hole seemed to open up and it quickly filled with mistrust and hurt. I was sinking and I shakingly typed out another message; the screen becoming blurry.

"I don't know what to say right now other than I am hurt at the moment. TRUST is a huge thing for me and I feel you have violated it... I TRUSTED you to be loyal to me... I TRUSTED you to behave yourself... I TRUSTED you to know what could be shared with others and what was private... I TRUSTED YOU..."

"I am sorry Mistress. I am stupid. I am so sorry. Please... I am begging you. I am squirming on my knees. Scared of how mad you are at me. I am stupid.... stupid, stupid slut."

"You are stupid... that is incredibly apparent."

I groaned at what I had just typed. The sinking feeling was becoming overwhelming. I needed to walk away and become calm enough that I could think clearly. Mostly I needed to get myself under control again. I was acting like a crazed wounded animal. I needed to get away and lick my wounds.

I sighed and rubbed my face, trying to at least keep it together long enough to sign off from the conversation with him.

"I don't know what to say or do at the moment other than to tell you that you are not allowed to contact me. No emails, no instant messages, no notes on FetLife, no phonecalls, NOTHING. You are to think about what you did and why I am so upset while I figure out what to do from here. I will let you know what I have decided when I have decided it. I mean it. NO CONTACT."

With that I signed off the computer.