A woman who likes to speak often of love and sisterhood and support, IMs me to ask if my ex sub can dance with her. She wants to make sure I'm okay with the two of them dancing together. Of course, I have no issue with a dance and appreciate the IM and tell her so. My sub and I have only recently ended the 'official' aspect of our relationship but are mired in the roots of almost three years that still twine around and hold us together. We've had problems. He's had problems. We must step back from the D/s for awhile as he sorts these out. It's a difficult and complex time with deep feelings involved.
That dance between the lady and the sub, supposedly rooted in kindness, turned in to an encounter. Edging on the dance floor as I stand nearby. He's out of control so his behaviour doesn't entirely surprise me, yet disappoints me deeply. As for her, a woman worried I might be concerned about a dance, it's a blatant disregard for my feelings and my situation.
It was 'a mistake' she said when asked. Four mistakes really...maybe more, who knows? She works on the spin and by the end of the day her version of the story is unrecognizeable to me. As for him, he's retreated in to silence, not even attempting to offer any explanation or justification.
I can deal with the effects of his actions. The pain ends with me. Her situation is far more complex. She was given the position of mentor, leader. Others looked to her to maintain the standard. In this way her deceit hurts more than me. It's a betrayal of what we stand for, our community, the respect and trust we work so hard to build and maintain, all of which she signed up to nuture and preach. And perhaps that's the worst part of it all.
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