Confession by Anonymous

                                                                                                                                                                                                               by Anonymous

“Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.” (Oscar Wilde, 1854 - 1900)

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She gave me an alternative: either daily walks and daily gym and daily study (all real life!) or being locked up in a cock cage immediately instead of in six days.  I knew I couldn't work out that often so I chose my other option: immediate lock down.

We chatted in IM and I told her my decision.  She accepted it, simply commenting that as a sub (and not a slave) she was OK with it.  I asked if I should lock down right away.  “Yes!” she replied.
I had been a bit ‘down’ recently, feeling lonely.  Her eagerness and her support lifted my spirits instantly.  I took out the CB-6000 and fitted it as she added some more comments in the IM stream.  I read them as I fiddled with the plastic pieces and – finally – the brass lock.

Click.

She had control.  I could feel her happiness in once again taking charge of my sexual life.  She loved the power.  I loved her excitement at having it.  I didn't want to leave.  She had other ideas.  She told me to write this.  Priority.  She said I should describe my feelings.  “Yes, Miss.”

My feelings.  Another story…  My relative lack of feelings and emotions, except for ‘the bad ones’.

But at this instant, as I type, my feeling is simply one of soaring.  I have touched something in her far more important than simply the platitudes.  I have made her feel powerful.  I have submitted.  I have brought her a feeling of euphoria and delight.

I have purpose.

My role now is to be deprived so she can think of me as she finds ways to pleasure herself, weaving me into her erotic life.   That is awe-inspiring!  I am to be used rather than neglected, and she knows she has no obligations to me other than the basics (health and safety issues).  I am now more fully one of her sex toys.  I have a function.  I have utility.  I am now integrated into something outside myself.

I feel powerful, curiously, precisely because she has stripped me of power over my body.  I know I have the power to please instead of disappoint.  To be used and not considered useless.  To contribute and not to simply stand to one side – a mere observer.  She gets off on my captivity.
 
I will be frustrated in a few days, but simply being ‘unable’ will – if I tell her – make her smile.  She likes being in charge, managing me, dictating rules, being bossy.  She knows I like being on the receiving end: obeying and pleasing.

We have a good relationship.