Switching by Anonymous

Switching by anon

She had never felt confused, bewildered or unsure of herself , that is until now. Her fingers crumbled the dark fertile soil  where the daffodil bulbs would lie, dormant until the spring.
How she wished her thoughts and feelings would remain dormant, stay buried and hidden away from the world.

She had always chosen submissive men as her boyfriends, initially unaware that’s what she was doing, later, by the very nature of her friendship groups doing it openly and confidently. She sighed as those memories tumbled to the forefront of her mind, it was all so easy then.

She had attempted to dissect her life to find the point that things had changed but nothing stood out as a defining point that she could cling to for comfort. Initially she thought her lack of enthusiasm for domination was due to being jaded, too many weekend parties of pain and excess, too often referred to as “Mistress” by men who would return to the office on Monday morning and hide their many kinks behind the accepted mode of maleness and vanilla marriage.

She stared into the shallow hole before her wishing momentarily it would swallow her up. Kneeling back on her haunches she remembered clearly the moment of spoken change, an acknowledgement  of what was happening deep in the hidden recesses of her mind.

Conferences were the bane of her life, endless talk, often to no advancement in either thoughts or actions, a time to squander dollar after dollar on interactions that could easily be achieved through other methods. Then a scant two months ago she had met “her”, even her name made the air shimmer when spoken, Niamh, the name dripped off the tongue like melted caramel ice cream. Their talk was of work, moved on to world affairs and eventually towards sex with the almost smell of it hanging in the air. She had opened her mouth several times to announce to Niamh her predilection for submissives, mostly male but not exclusively so. But, the next comment Niamh made  changed her life forever.

Niamh, she whispered the name to the plump bulbs nestled on the earth. Niamh had uttered the words that shattered her known world into a million shards. With 100% assurance Niamh  had told her she knew she enjoyed submission. She could have laughed, denied it, instead she cried. The dam burst, creating a deluge that washed away the earth beneath her feet. For a couple of weeks after that conference she had stayed hidden away, turning each particle of her life over and over.

She covered the bulbs with the moist soil patting it gently over their nippled heads. Just for now she is living a double life, dominant in her usual lifestyle but week by week sinking deeper and deeper into the beauty of submission at Niamh’s feet. She glows with self understanding, the years of dominating subs the best education for understanding how she can be an excellent sub herself. Of course there will be times when the whip and paddle demand attention from her hand and with her Mistress’s permission she will scratch that itch.