Submission As A Gift by Anonymous

I have been looking at the question in Fet Life asked by Miss Tika, and have been thinking of a way to say what I want to say without offending anyone. Looking at the responses so far, I know some may not agree with me. But my Mistress allows me my say and I feel this way.

In my opinion, when one thinks of answering this question, one has to answer another question first. "What is submission?". There could be many answers to this as we all have different opinions and answers. There are submissives who are submissives to submitting. They will submit to anyone or everyone, so that they can feel needed. On the other hand there are submissives who will not submit easily. Submissives who will wait for the right person to submit to.

My answer to what is submission is - it is about feeling and experiencing. It is about connecting to my inner self. It is about celebrating what I am, what I can be with Her. It is about taking my Mistress's hand and going through experiences and feelings too profound that I have not dared to walk on my own. To discover each other and be one with each other, knowing each other in the journey. It is about surrendering our doubts, our fears, our relentless analysis and comparison. Any short comings that I may have eventually reflects on Her too, and therefore it is important that we know each other.

Is this not the case with Dommes too? Does a Domme accept anyone's submission? When a relationship forms, there is an exchange taking place. Doesn't the whole term Power Exchange imply an exchange of power between those concerned? It is given and taken, given and taken again, in a loop, often improvising with feedback, other times not.

It is a well a received romantic cliché that evokes a sense of demure grace, innocent in its devotion. It conveys purity of heart in the submissive and honour in the one whom one has chosen to receive his/her gift. So is the gift of Dominance. One can often say that One loves someone more than themselves. I would disagree. One loves themselves the most. This is not in a negative way. If we do not love ourselves, we would have let others harm us too many times. Our sense of protectiveness kicks in when we know that we are in harms way. It does that to me at least.

I was born and brought up in a society which believes men who are submissive are weak and is betraying the ideals that have been in existence. Because of my upbringing and effects of my culture , I had to struggle against my wants, desires, self-doubt, pain and shame to admit that I am a submissive. The journey has been not been easy and has often been painful. My submissiveness is hard earned.

I do not go around asking to submit to just anyone whom I meet and especially because of this, the person whom I submit to is special to me, to be worthy of my devotion and submission. To me, that is very important. When I submit to someone, I am giving them the power of my will, of me, my hard earned submission, knowing I might be commanded and used, sometimes in ways that I may not want to. If I am not in the right hands, I might be subjected to abuse. I am opening myself to that possibility as well.

Is it necessary that my submission is always accepted? No, not really. When I allow someone to be in control of me, I am, in my opinion giving them something special that is not received by others. Something special, something that is unique to me. So to me, yes, it is a gift. I am giving myself to someone. In my opinion when the Domme gives Her Dominance, it is also a gift. Something that many is looking for, but not everyone gets. So isn't dominance a gift as well? Isn't submission and dominance mutual gifts that complement each other rather complete each other?

Having said that, I am also of the opinion that submission and dominance are gifts only when we are true to ourselves and to each other. My Mistress has given me the gift of Her dominance and She has received (please read both in present continuous) mine. To me Her dominance and my submission are unique gifts.