My Only Owner by Anonymous

I must admit that my first days at the Dominion last December were very exciting: i was entering in the world of my dreams and found myself staring (or rather, perving) mesmerized at the sight of the beautiful and elegant ladies that exude confidence and glamor, but also kindness and generosity to the guys like myself, who are starting and want to learn about the femdom principles. I spent some evenings reading their conversations (public conversations in open chat, that is), listening at them talking, reading some notes about the rules and guidelines of proper service and sub etiquette. I talked very little, hesitantly in public, concerned about making mistakes or perhaps offending any of the ladies with my ignorance of what a sub must or must not do. But I´m not stupid and i knew if i put proper effort i could achieve many things, so i was decided to learn as much as i could in order to get ready for the day when i was going to be owned and could put my brain, my heart and my muscles at the service of my goddess. Coz that was my final goal and purpose: to find my queen and to put myself at her service. I know that sounds presumptuous, but that was what i was hoping for, and dreaming of.

And before i was ready, She appeared. She summoned me to her feet and started asking me questions, and then She began talking about Her likes and dislikes, and soon we were engaged in a broad conversation about almost everything ; we chatted at length for a few days about many things, from music to work, food, sex, domination, travels and cultures, and even some politics, She dropping witty and funny comments at every topic, fascinating me, and soon i started missing hours of sleep and skipping RL dates or cutting them short to be able to talk to Her, to be with Her. I rewrote my profile at Her suggestion and grew hopeful she would consider me as Her sub, boy, slave, servant, butler, warrior, bodyguard or even punching bag if She ever needed one.

We arranged for voice calls, which i admit i was reluctant first, and She started asking and commanding me to do things that i wasn´t ready for, but She managed to push, soft and charmingly till all my defenses, bridges and shields were dropped, and i abandoned myself at Her feet in a way i never thought a man could relinquish his will. I was at Her mercy and i felt so much at peace with myself and the world, and begged Her, and soon i felt Her hands locking softly a collar around my neck, with Her name engraved, like the one that was being built around my heart, and i felt pride and liberation like i had never experienced before, and I'm not ashamed to admit it was the most beautiful feeling in my life.

My existence started to gyrate around Her, Her likes, Her wishes, Her dreams, Her mood swings, Her pleasure, Her laughing, Her songs, Her timetable, Her pets, Her meals...  we shared our lives, our tastes, our confidences, i spent hours at Her feet, massaging Her legs, worshiping Her calves, adoring Her hips, softly licking Her inner thighs and up, massaging Her labia with my tongue, rubbing Her divine clit with the tip of my manhood, rock hard, making sure i was not to cum and reminded to concentrate all my efforts, my thoughts and my feverish passion at the service of Her pleasure. I fed on Her moaning, Her giggling, Her breathing... my cock about to explode, my heart beating furiously, raging as She came in an orgasm, and with each one, with each call, with each meeting, falling on my knees before Her, after She was pleased, adoring Her and feeling Her ruling soft hand running thru my hair, Her warm voice complimenting me... and i felt so horny but also so special, so gifted... so happy.

As a matter of fact i could barely believe my dreams had come true and i wondered if i possibly deserved that much happiness, specially when i heard other fellow subs that hadn´t been too successful in finding owner for some time. But then i was quick to forget it and put my fears aside when i was with Her, and She summoned me on my four,  resting Her divine butt on my back, and i felt i had always belonged there without knowing it, and this was the way things should and would always be.

One evening that i admittedly was late, things had changed at Her place. The portraits i built with Her image engraved were not there anymore. I run around and found my own pics had been removed, and my heart sank deep. I knew something BIG had changed, and waited for hours, anxiously. She didn´t show up that evening. I sent Her two IMs. But i didn´t want to sound overly preoccupied or annoying. I knew my Goddess had other interests and i didn´t want to bother Her or to sound too needy. Tho i did need Her. Badly. The day after when i anxiously logged in, She had replied my IMs with a brief note, telling me to hold tight. Now i was scared, very. She didn´t log for the next two long days and i admit i spent them obsessively perving at every profile and stalking anyone landing close to Her home and at the neighboring sims. And yes, checking Her profile every few minutes, or rather, every few seconds.

The third evening when i logged i found Her at home and with my heart pounding furiously, but trying to keep my cool, i asked Her what had happened. She dropped the news, that i had somehow feared. You may know the drill, so i will spare you details: She had different plans, and there was no room for me in them, and She was sorry for me... My world crumbled around me, i could barely react, i felt numb and foggy and silent,  i wouldn't allow myself to bug Her, or plead, or pour any drama or grief on Her. She was my Goddess, i was Her servant, not the other way around. If She wanted me out, i had no say and no option but to leave Her alone, if She so wished. So i left and spent the rest of the evening sat in some empty sim without really knowing what else was about to happen, clueless as i had never been before. A battered dog, they say, and that´s how i felt, without purpose and hurting for every pore. Cliché as it may sound, i felt like a blade piercing my chest.

It took me a few days to compose myself. When i got convinced She would not contact me anymore and She would not take me back, i gathered the strength to remove Her collar around my neck. Went around exploring, dancing and shopping and after a while I returned to Dominion. Here i had a few meaningful conversations with some beautiful, kind souls, both Ladies and fellow subs, got encouraging words and tons of support, which i really appreciate, you know i do, and i decided it was time to move on, to force myself overcome grief and get ready again in this universal quest for happiness and love. With a heavy heart, as they say, and now i know what they mean by that.

I failed. It´s a month now and I´m stuck in the same place. I can´t stop thinking of Her. I can´t look for anyone else than Her. I go to the same places where we used to dance, to shop and to play. I crave for Her voice and Her giggling and long for the time spent with Her, like if it was a dream and i suddenly woke up. I know those times are not to come back, i realize i lost Her and the pain keeps coming back. I don´t even fully understand the reason, but the consequences are clear and Her absence its unbearable to me, as it is the thought that all was just a mirage, smoke. But i must be true to myself and admit that i haven't stopped loving Her, and maybe i never will completely. I still drag Her long invisible leash and i´m not even sure i want to get rid of it. I guess that makes me pretty ineligible for service, at least for now, since I´m useless for anyone but Her, even if She doesn´t want me anymore. This is the bare truth, and I can´t keep fooling myself or others any longer.

I want to thank you all and everyone for your patience and kindness and say farewell in the hope one day i will be healed and can return to this great place.

Love