Eroyan's Confession

Eroyan's Confession

I have come to realize, that somehow I am blessed in most things I do. I have struggled in my life alot. Having to deal with other people and how cruel the world can be. Through out all of it, from the worst of times to the best. People have always been there for me. I do not know if I deserve the caring and attention that I get.

I've never been sophisticated or elegant. I'm base and simple and know small bits about many things. I have a temper but have been able control it for years. Thank goodness for as stubborn as I am, its good I don't hold grudges. For all my outwardness, I'm rather shy around those I care about. Sometimes I just feel like a dumb redneck when I hear people talk about things. I've never been lucky in some things. But I can say I am lucky in friends. My personality makes up for my faults many times and my imagination makes it easy for me to see the possibilities that exist around all of us.

I believe in people. A truly dangerous fault especially when it comes to what I enjoy. For there are many who will just use and manipulate because they can. But in the end that won't change, I have to believe in people so that I can believe in myself. I believe in honor, and that your word means something. Thats just basic truth, if your word is no good who would waste time on you? If you have no honor who would want to be around you? I am loyal and when I make a commitment or devotion to something or someone, it is very hard to turn my back on that. Its been done to me many times in my life that i refuse to abandon my own. I believe in God and think that we must all bend a knee before God. That in the end, equal is how were are created, equal is how all things will be in the end before God. My faith has been the one solid anchor in my life and always will be.

I love to work with my hands. Nothing makes me feel better than to look at something and say to myself, "I made that." I get lost in books. I don't just read them I live them. I guess thats why I read so well and yet can't write correctly. I live the stories. I've walked as a Prince of Amber across the shadows. I've seen the galaxy through the eyes of Darth Vader. I've been Huck Finn on the river. I have seen the Dragons of Summer's Flame. I've carried the ring to Mordor. These are a just a few lives I've lived but I have lived them all.

I am stubborn and tenacious. I never give up even when all hope is lost. I carry the pieces of broken hearts with me and fashion armor to protect me. Yet still there are times when there is no defense. When there is nothing to do but love. I can love anyone. It doesn't matter to me. Love is love to me. There is no beginning there is no end, things may change in your time with a person. But the love it should never go away. That means I must bear suffering with me always. But eventually it becomes a good suffering as crazy as it sounds. A suffering of peace, and joy, from knowing you do love someone and they are happy.

I am sure there is more to me than just this. But I feel this is my core. This is who Eroyan is. This is what makes me...me. If I am your friend, you will always be mine. No matter the time apart. If I love you, I will always love you. I will always do my best to walk the path of honor and faith for the other path... that one of anger and pain, that path scares me. I have been down that path and turned back before I lost my way. I am passionate with all those who walk with me. I am Eroyan, girl or boy, it doesn't matter. This is who I am.