At 15, she was taller than most boys, more physically developed than most of the girls, her long blonde hair, the long legs that didn't seems to end, and those wonderfully firm and perky breasts that continued to grow despite her efforts.... she possessed the knowledge of knowing how to use her assessts and had boys falling on their knees to do as she requested... the life she knew she was destined for... thinking her life was taking on new wonderful adventures when she was moved to sunny southern California to live with her father.... little did she know, those adventures would be anything but wonderful.
Her Father, the one man she adored and would spare the use of her abilities on.... little did she know, that weakness would be the demise of her abilities.
Her father, the man she looked up to, adored and thought could do no wrong in her eyes, despite what others had said about him, her lack of maturity in years, blinded her to the truth of all of those warnings. A man, she thought that would be her guiding light in the world, also a drunk, a drug addict, and a liar... she used her abilities to help this man maintain his employment, having grown men fall down to her to her command. She was learning more and more the effect of all she possessed. Until the one day, shortly after her sixteenth birthday, her father, on another of his drinking and heavy drug use weekends, several men came to the house, demanding something from my father, not knowing fully what the "visit" was about... angry words were used, she remained out of sight to try to gain some insight as to the argument, soon, the men started beating her father, stepping out into the room, she asked the meaning of this, only to find her father beaten and bloody on the living room floor at her feet, the words coming out of his mouth stunning her, feeling the words choking the breath from her lungs, her knees, weakening, as what was said , sunk deeper into her... "take the girl, she will prove to be well enough to pay the debts and for "him" to keep me well stocked for the next year" .
What was he doing, she kept thinking, the words replaying in her head over and over, disbelief of what her father was saying, what was he thinking?!?! This couldnt be really happening ! Before she could find words, she felt hands on her, forceful, strong, dirty hands, and the slow tear sliding down her cheek as she looks to the heap on the floor that was once her Father.
Disbelief and fear kept her numb, until she felt the stinging of the slap across her cheek, "him", she was now at his feet, laying on the floor, her top ripped open, blood dripping from her lip. She looks up to "him", a look of hatred in her eye, she stands again, and spats in his face, bringing another, stronger blow to the side of her head, and she falls back to the floor, where she remains. Sobs threaten to escape her, but she refuses to show weakness. Her 16 yrs, just matured to many more... this girl, with boys at her beck and call, no more...
She did prove to be just what her father promised, providing him to be well drugged and dileriously numb for the next year... and the girl, numb as well, beaten, verbally abused, and shown off as a prize possession of "him"... at 17, minus the cuts and bruises from "him", she had grown even more attractive to the mans eye. Her hatred for him and her father grew inside of her daily. As the days were marked on her breast , by the knife of "him". Knowing that soon, her 18th birthday , her day of escape was nearing. "Him" had many times tried to get her to try out his sales, having many parties, and buyers come to the house, wanting her to sample different drugs, but to her amazement, he never forced her when she refused, never once had a drug entered her.
As the days moved on, she continued her plan on how to leave this horrible place, never having been allowed to learn how to drive, to have friends, only to work and go to school, with the supervision of course.... she was never alone. Finally, her 18th birthday, the day she had been dreaming and planning for two long horrble years, the day of her escape was here. She left all that she had there, there was nothing she wanted to take with her, she wanted no memories of this place, of this time in her life... she waited until "him" had been blissfully drugged with the new arrival of coke and heroin, she made her move... her heart pounding, sure that all could hear her fear... but her will kept her feet moving until she was past the door, un attended to, she slipped out of the house. She was free, her heart raced, her feet pounding the ground, trying to put as much distance between herself and that horrible place as possible. she couldnt believe it, she had done it, and so easily... for the first time in two years, she really smiled.
Little did she know, "him" had noticed her slipping out of the house, sent 3 men after her, they caught up to her, beat her , raped her, and left her on the side of the road. Praying to God to let her die, she slipped into a sleep, to wake from the next morning. Unanswered prayers....
A strong stubborn woman, never whispered a word of this to another until many years later, many failed relationships later... more men that beat her, wore her down with demeaning words... she hid this all from the world around her, hid it deep inside her self. She promised herself that one day, she will again regain what she had lost, that young girl, never to be again... but a stronger woman. It didn't come until after her 30th birthday... she mustered up all the strength she had, believing for the first time in years.... that she was a woman! A woman that was strong, stubborn and yes, forgiving... for the men in her life, they knew no better... they were weak minds, and needed their physical strength to try to find control. She knew she was better than this.
Some say she is too soft, she some times fears that herself.... but she knows in the end, a caring heart, empathy, and love do not make a woman weak... it adds to her strength.
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