One Domme's Journey

“Boy, take your clothes off,” I commanded, as I stalked across the room whip in hand. My soft spoken, gentle sub kneeled on the floor quivering as I approached, knowing full well what was in store that day. “You disobeyed me toy?” I asked harshly. “Yes Miss”, he stammered, head hung low “I stayed up later then you instructed”. “Why”, I demanded? “Cause I was dancing and it was fun.” “You promised you would go to bed before midnight and your fun is more important than a promise to me?” I growled softly. “I’m sorry Miss,” he whispered quietly still staring at the floor.
Leash in hand I dragged him to the rack fastening first his hands then ankles to the wall. His naked ass shone in the moonlight, and I shook my whip out, cracking it in the air. As it sounded I saw him jump and struggle against the chains. “Next time you will not break a promise toy.” I pulled my arm back, and then jerked forward bringing it down hard on his ass. “That’s one boy,”…. Crack…. It sounded again hard against his already red ass…. “Two, boy”, I stated flatly, “Three.” I heard him whimper from pain as he jerked again on the rack pulling against the restraints. “Four,” I called out again, as he whispered, “Thank you Miss.” I sighed; disappointed my toy had not done what he was told. I reached up unhooking his wrists from the rack. “Undo your ankles boy, go lie on the bed, and don’t get any blood on it”, I quipped.
I watched as he staggered across the floor toward the bed, welts already formed across his ass. I sighed again inwardly, thinking how could the man I love break a promise? He collapsed onto the bed legs still shaking, and I pushed them wide, sitting between them. I gently began to rub some salve on his red ass, soothing the stinging lines etched in his skin and as I rubbed as saw his balls begin to tighten, cock growing hard. “You excited toy?” I barked as I slapped his ass again. “No Miss,” he stammered. “Well you will be”, I responded reaching for the vibrator. I rubbed a bit of lube around it, and drizzled it down his ass before pushing it hard inside him. I felt his muscles clinch up as he moaned loudly, then I pushed it farther in slowly, holding it inside him as he wiggled, whimpering in pain. “Get up on your knees toy”, I commanded and pushed it back inside his tight ass, hard. He moaned again, and I could see his cock was hard. I reached under him, one hand stroking his hard cock while I pushed the vib in and out, the mix of pleasure and pain was torture. I watched his face grimace with pain as the drops of cum began to leak from his hard cock. “Don’t cum boy I commanded,” as I slipped under him licking the tip of his cock. I let my tongue flick over him teasing as I pushed faster in and out with the vib, turning it inside him. He groaned again louder, grunting from the pressure in his tight, virgin ass.

I must confess I am not really a Domina, not a trained one, just a woman who as a result of circumstance and life became what I am. My story starts many years ago, when I was really just a girl, so young and naive.

It all began the summer of 1987, I was just 17, miraculously still a virgin, growing up in a fast town. Even then I was stubborn and free spirited, I did what I wanted when I wanted to. One evening late in August, changed the course of my life forever.
San Clemente Beach, the wind blew in off the ocean, and smell of salt and sun tan lotion mixed with vodka filled the air. There was a keg party at the beach. You see, back in those days it was still easy to smuggle a keg down the winding cliffs to San Clemente, burry it in the sand and then pass out plastic cups for all to enjoy, parents and police none the wiser. We had started drinking late that afternoon, and by 7 the bonfire was raging, pallets stacked three high, flames everywhere. We also had run the keg dry and switched to vodka, gallons of cheep Smirnoff poured in the flames and downed in bongs. Fifty or sixty High School kids milled about some surfing, some already passed out, others looking to hook up. The music blared, and as things got out of the hand, the inevitable happen. The cops arrived. Flood lights glared over head, “Clear the beach,” sounded from the top of the rise, we knew we had to go, or risk being picked up.
As I started up the steep, winding path to the campground above, my legs began to feel funny the alcohol was finally kicking it. I staggered and slowed to keep from falling, the crowd pushed together, all trying to get up the hill before the cops arrived. And as I looked up, I realized I was lost, separated from my friends. Just then, a soft voice called from behind me, “Do you need help?”, “yes,” I stammered, “I have lost my friends.” “Come with me, I know an easier way up the hill” the soothing voice called. So I took the stranger’s hand and followed him into the darkness.
The path turned sharply to the right, and before I knew it we were alone, in the darkness. The waves thundered behind us, and the sound of sirens echoed in the distance. The footsteps and voices of others had faded away and an eerie silence enveloped us.
Fear. How do you describe real fear to someone who has never felt it? Every fiber of your being comes to life, alert, tense. Your stomach drops, the hair on your neck stands on end. The buzz of alcohol gone instantly, adrenaline coursing through your veins, but it was all too late. In that split second, I felt myself being thrown to the ground, the once kind voice now ragged and angry, my head thudded on a large rock as I hit the ground, and I screamed. Before I could react he was on top of me, my small wrists pinned to the ground, trapped in one large hand, and as I struggled his grip tightened, my shorts ripped from my thin hips. I brought my knee up hard, but he already had his thigh pressed between my legs. I twisted and arched, screaming again, and as I fought my bikini was torn away. I lay pinned and naked in the dirt. I felt his hand between my thighs, as he forced my legs farther apart his weight came down on me, gasping for air I screamed again. The only sound I could hear was his uneven breathing as he leaned closer, “If you tell anyone I will find you, I will kill you.” In that instant, I felt a searing pain between my legs, warm blood began to trickle down my thighs. He thrusted harder ripping my flesh as he pounded into me, my screams and cries went unheard, and I watched from above as this stranger continued fucking, raping, the limp body below.

Time has passed, and while my life was changed, I do not harbor anger, resentment, or even fear. Life gives us opportunities to learn and I have learned. I know pain, and the feeling of being dominated and violated, but I also know love and empathy. The ability to feel what a sub may be feeling, and the compassion to understand has made me who I am. While I dominate, it is not for revenge, but control. I have many kinks… but without control I cannot cum, and so I move forward happy and content in my boys arms knowing I am loved.