Saturday, June 29, 2013

Impromptu Confessions 6/29/13

My ass is open for her like a little pussy,
My useless cock locked away, its pleasures out of reach.
I'm a little slut, waiting to get fucked.
Begging to get fucked.
To be taken by her. Claimed by her.
If I'm lucky some of my seed might dribble out of clit as my hole is pounded by her.
I pray that after she's done with my ass I'm blessed to have my face between her legs.
To kiss her womanhood. To lick it gently. To worship it. To hear her breath and maybe.
Maybe.
I can give her pleasure that I can't have.

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I'm not gay, but I almost cried when part of DOMA was struck down this week. Mostly from the reactions I read from the people affected by it. And same-sex marriages started up again in California yesterday. This was a happy week.

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I'm a total slut for my Mistress. I love the way she makes me squirm and beg for more of the torment that puts me in this state.

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In a month it'll be a year. One year and there's still a part of me that longs for him. He was never ready and could never be the person I needed, but I loved him. There's that side of him that no one knows but myself, beneath it all it's a beauty I've rarely seen. I'll never tell him, for fear of being consumed once again. 

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when I was a zombie for today hunt, i thought i would get a craving for brains but i didn't so does that make me a failure as a zombie?

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I am want him.  

He surprises me.  He makes me smile.  He's attentive.  He thinks of me.
He's not mine but he could be.
If I could see my way forward, to let go of fear.
To possess and not possess.  Can I bend?

I don't know where or how or when, but I will have him.

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A Haiku for my boy:

Waking to his tongue
lapping softly on my clit
so glad he is mine

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It kills me that I can't be with my boy. We spend time together online, but I want to be with him in RL too. One day. 

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Confused, I guess I really am,
Got no idea who I am.
Hit the spot, piss them off,
get lost in the emotions along the way,

Frustrated, tired of missing out,
Got nothing to throw down,
So here I am, Still again,
silently I kneel before you... again..

But how can I,.....show...you.
That I don't know,
Just who I am?

I am the animal,
I am the leash that you pull,
Living my life,
keeping my eyes closed,
I am the animal,
No longer able, now I fold,
Lost in my life,
secrets that I hold.

Confused, I guess I really am,
Got no idea who I am,
Domme or sub, Fem or male,
doesn't really matter anyway,

Frustrated, You have no fucking idea,
Just how am I supposed to live?
Question my life, hit the spot,
shut down myself and kill all that..

I have known, now.
Forget my life, yeah,
For nothing else matters for me,

I am the animal,
I am the leash that you pull,
Living my life,
keeping my eyes closed,
I am the animal,
No longer able, now I fold,
Lost in my life,
secrets that I hold.

Cold I am inside,
Nothing left to find,
Life is life, But I complain,
I can't live the way I want to.

Cannot live the way I want to,

I cannot be me, 
I cannot see,
For all that you find,
is just Second life to me.

What am I inside?
What can I be?
What turmoil am I now?
What a mess I have turned out to be.

I am the animal,
I am the leash that you pull,
Living my life,
keeping my eyes closed,
I am the animal,
No longer able, now I fold,
Lost in my life,
secrets that I hold.


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