But she isn't here.
There is space between us,
And my heart grows colder in her absence.
Is it fair that she is all I have?
That she has paths to affection and another person's touch that are closed to me?
No. But no one said this would be fair.
I knew what was down this road before I set foot on it.
I knew how lonely it would feel.
I'm left wondering what use I really can be to her.
Is telling me to yank a clothespin from my nipple anywhere near as gratifying as doing it with her own hand?
What does telling me to edge in the shower really do for her?
At times I think this isn't the kind of pain I signed on for. It's a cold, numbing pain.
It's the pain of loneliness, and I am suffering.
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