A Sleepless Night...Did You Know? by Sylver

Ok. Here I sit sleepy, but can not sleep. I've tried to write
this as a poem but it would not work. I tried to write it with
flowering language...it did not suit me...the best way to
write this is with my own word and style. From within. It is
the only way it will sound right to me...and i maybe can get
some sleep. You see I wrote another confession for today. But
as I try to sleep i am finding this will not leave me alone.
The words keep dancing in my head. I'm sitting in the dark now typing at the computer. My mind racing my heart pounding. This is something that needs to be written. I don't know why i wish to share this or if i will even give my name...or if the one it is intended for will be hearing it at this moment, i don't even know who it is for. All i do know is it will not let me
rest till I have committed it to paper so to speak.

Did you know

I dreamt about you. Your touch, that touch that could bring
pain or pleasure. That touch which I need so much. I can not
define nor explain what it does to me. It is hard to put into
words...but with that touch you take all control from me.
Making it yours to do as you desire. It is as it should be.

Your gaze which is so caring, so possessive, so loving. It
lets me know where i belong and to whom. It fills me with
encouragement and the feeling that i can do anything if for you.

Your scent so wonderful and warm. I do not wish to be far from
you. To be able to breathe such a scent and cherish every
moment. Your taste so sweet, so wonderful. To be allowed to
partake  of such a wonder would fill me with such delight.

Your voice with words that bind my mind. Words that i obey
with a simple "yes Mistress" not because it is a command, but
because it pleases you and feels so natural. So right to do so.

The fire within me that burns to serve, to please you. The depths of that fire that threatens to consume my being with madness, the sweet insanity of that desire only cooled by your calming touch and your voice letting me know it is alright. Alright to give to you. Alright to be taken. Alright to be myself. Alright to be yours.

No I know you do not know this..how could you truly know this...we have not met...we have not laid eyes on each other.
Have not touch. Have not shared in pain and pleasure.

But I do know when the time comes, and we do meet. My eyes
fall to yours. My body moving across the distance to sink to
my knees before you, my hands trembling as you reach out to touch my cheek. Letting me know it is alright. Your gaze upon
me as my eyes lower my head bowed submissively. Tears staining my cheeks from the joy of finding you. The feeling of
belonging. The desire to please you. To feel your caress your gaze, to smell your scent to hear your voice whispering into my ear. I know then you will know i have waited so long for that moment. That moment in which i give myself to you. And you take me as yours. I know then that you will understand what power you have over me, giving all my trust, my devotion, my desire, my love to you, my submission completely.

I can not wait for this moment to come..i search for you and
hope that i shall find you my Mistress and that you in turn
search and will find me. Till that time i shall dream night
after night, day after day. Living for that moment. Living to
be yours.


Perhaps i should have kept this hidden for the day i find that
somebody..but something inside of me does not want to hide
it...but to share it. Something desires for it to be known. So
I shall share it..and hope that though it isn't flowery, isn't
a poem. Isn't a work of art..that it is accepted for what it
is..words from the depths of my heart and soul. Words I hear
echo always within my mind though rarely speak of...I think I
can finally get some sleep so I am going now...and hope that
tomorrow my message will be heard. Though my name may be kept into the shadows... Good Night I go to see my Mistress and hope that she too is visiting me within her dreams.

Even as I wake and sit here the words do not seem right. I keep thinking they do not show the depth of my feelings. And the whispers in my mind. But then i do not feel that any words would suit my feelings. Words give power they say. Give power to the idea to the thoughts to the feelings we all have. Perhaps that is the problem. I do not feel i give enough power to this desire with these words. Though I can never imagine the words to say to match my feelings and give that power to them. So in that respect this confession will be ever changing...striving to make it more clear...striving to give that power to it that is so consuming at times. Perhaps someday i will, though perhaps not until i've knelt at the Mistress' feet and she tells me so.