Bought For A Task by Daegan

by Daegan

It may be the natural course of a life: to start bright, foolish, innocent and eager and to gradually, inexorably lose feeling while gaining false "sensibility."  Growing up, do we need to have our ears covered with beeswax before the mind is tuned enough to hear the Sirens' lyrics?

So, in hopes of scraping clean some of the congealed "sense" and caked "propriety" which had come to foul my life I found myself hanging around. In other words... I sold myself at an auction house.

You may have heard of "Trial by Combat", "Trial by Ordeal", or other "legal" reliefs in which the beneficence of the Creator is relied upon to deliver victory or just another day of living to the innocent.  I have no compunction regarding my innocence -- just to have that on the record.

"Trial by Chance."  That's what I wanted.  I thought to let me offer myself stretched over this bar stool, on this rock (my liver always in jeopardy), against this rock wall for instance.  Let me give my Fate to the stone in motion.  They called dice "rocks" in at least some of those noir-ish gangster flicks I feel sure. Let Fate decide what comes next.  It's not an easy decision, if you mean it, to let go in this fashion.

This takes a degree of Faith, another slighted virtue as neon has given way to faster impulses over the aether, which cannot be taught but which can be bought.  Spend enough on pills, thrills, chills, and heartache and you'll be ready for that mainline.

I did not know what to expect, and that was, after all, the point, but I cannot quite explain my initial reaction to Her. She strode, not as if she owned the place, but as if it just bowed down in the wake of her heels and shut its stupid mouth.  Then, She spoke to me.

Why was this incredible woman speaking to me?  Yes, I'd been as courteous as I could remember from those TV training films (sitcoms?) and I had tried not to swallow my tongue in response to the lightning flashing through my skull and to the pounding sudden presence of my heart and muscles, of my skin and bones.

I dared to answer Her.

We talked for over a week, I think.  Always, She would return and find me stretched out in the bonds that held me to that place.  Excitement?  Yes, after several years of numbed existence without the urge to write or rhyme or draw an erotic snorlax in full mating posture, I was looking forward to our next talk like the next breath after diving deep.  A rush and a rustle of Her dress shifting gracefully as She dodged chairs and alighted was more than a ten inch spike of adrenalin in my heart.  We shared stories, teases, looks, smiles, awkward pauses easily overcome and a desire to be together.   As much as possible.

After some time, She bought my tab, and brought me home.

That was all in one world.  In another, my life continued -- not as before, but with the rush of possibility. After She stopped the dice and took my soul for Her own, She gave me a task to perform. I was to attend a wedding over the weekend for a younger cousin.  I was to wrap a fat rubber band around my left wrist.  Foolishly, I didn't plan well and ended up with a thin green one.  Every time I needed to visit the bathroom, I was to snap that band twice.. hard.  Not hard enough to leave a permanent mark, but hard enough to be felt and redden the skin well over an evening of open bar.

I felt.. Well, I confess I was totally excited by my "task."  I wondered if anybody would comment, or would wonder if it was a memento or a remembrance for something or someone.  Of course it was a remembrance.  It was a physical link back to Her.  It was a simple training device to get my blood surging through my ears and to get my heart beating every time I looked down at Her property.

I remember that first sting, spreading around my wrist and up my arm causing the fuzzy black hair to stand on end in a continuing wave towards my core.  I remember wondering if anybody was going to come into the room and see my eyes tight in appreciating Her gift of Her Will in my life.

The task was over too soon.  My skin, red and kissed by her band, longed for more.