A Solemn Confession by Anonymous

Lighthearted words, and thoughtful memories.

These are what I remember from my time here....

I was so different back then. Some of you probably remember me.

I've changed a lot since then...

I would argue that's the very reason I've been away.

But... what then? Where does one draw the line in the sand? What, to you my fellow subs, would you do when you are commanded to do something that you couldn't do?

What if in that time, you were going through a dramatic change? What if you were just no longer comfortable with it all anymore?

I know what I did...... I ran. I ran from the world I knew, straight into one I didn't. Like an endless maze, my restless soul has wandered these past few moons, searching for something that always seemed out of reach.

I got in a relationship, but it didn't pan out. There was no connection.

But what I have a lot of is guilt.

I just left her. No warning... nothing.... Just left. And not the one from the relationship I previously mentioned....

She knows who She is, if She's still around.
I hope She could find it in her heart to forgive me...
...but I wouldn't forgive me.

So I ran away. I took time to try to find myself. Time away to just figure out who I am. She didn't need to see the terrible war I had going on inside. I tried to keep it all in, and heaven knows I tried.

It got to be too much.

They say that the late teens are some of the most pivotal years in a person's life, but I know my early ones were a mess.

It took some time to realize that I was living a lie, but when I did figure that out, my world came crashing down rather quickly. I had to rebuild, reorganize, and just put myself back together.

But when one wanders in a world he doesn't know, he craves that for which he does.

And so, I've decided to return. No covers, no lies, no bs. I just want to be me, and hopefully that is enough.

With love to all the Mistress' and subs,
~SSL