Saturday, January 4, 2014

Do Subs Exist On Fetlife? By Lady Dalia

I was having one of those days.  You know the kind.  When questions such as, "Does a submissive exist on FetLife?" fill the mind.  Lucky for me, I had time too look.

I searched locally.  Four thousand, nine hundred and sixty kinksters, FetLife says.  It won't sort by designation so sorting through 294 pages I went.  After 18 pages I saw an interesting profile.

Now he had the word 'chattel' in his name, which for any woman at the Dominion, could be a turn off but I persevered.  His profile stated, "This is a tall order, but if you don't seek you will never find.  Sincere, single gentleman in ~blank~, Ontario is seeking to serve and genuinely submit to a dominant Woman - and just one at that.

The key is compatible personalities and styles. I don't come with a must-do shopping list of needs and wants that I expect you to fulfill. On the contrary, I have to actually submit, and quickly learn what amuses, pleases and truly gratifies a sensual goddess…"

Now I must admit he had me until sensual Goddess.

I did a bit of finger tapping against my lip.  Would he be worth the effort to contact?

"Hi,  I was going through listings on Fetlife and saw your profile. I am intrigued by your reference to service, mainly because most I encounter here do not have the same idea of it as I do. It seems you might."  And on I went describing a bit about me and where I would be locally, in scene, in the near future should he wish to chat.

Within a few hours, I received a reply.  He offered some of his experience and tried to further explain his views on D/s. He suggested I read "Uniquely Rika" to get an idea of what he sought.  Guess what I am currently reading? Yes, we were on the same wave-length. He also stated he'd be attending the same munch as I, that night.

I paused here.  I don't mind meeting others.  I am a sociable person.  But… there is always a but… I have recently ended a relationship and need some time before plunging into another.  What started as a theoretical exercise now involves another person.  I thought to myself, "It's just a meet.  I don't have to speed along any faster than I wish."  I smiled and responded.  We traded the 'what do you look like and what are you going to wear?' info.

I arrived at the munch fairly early.  Greeted the host and said hi to some friends.  I met a few new people with whom I sat as I ordered some pub-style dinner.  I scanned the room.

Tall, stocky and silver-haired may have seemed a good description at the time, till you realize most of the people at this munch were middle-aged.  I had 7 candidates.  The last thing I was going to do, was go around the room asking each one if he was the one who I was to meet.  Besides, I wanted to make sure he was serious and I was the only woman wearing a grey turtle-neck sweater in that place.  Would he be brave enough to approach?

Hours passed and I enjoyed myself.  No word from anyone claiming to be him.  I returned home a bit miffed.  There was a message on Fetlife.

"I am here"

I messaged him and said I didn't have data on my cell and couldn't have seen that message; that I had been there and couldn't figure out which one he was.  After a bit of prodding he revealed he had sort of figured out who I was.  He explained where he was sitting and I have a good idea of who he is now.

Did it mean he didn't like what he saw though?  His next message gave me his cell number to avoid that problem in future and asked me to try again.  I agreed, although to tell you the truth I don't really find him attractive or my type.

We were to meet at 1pm today when I got a notice just after noon hour that he had to cancel. His plans had been advanced to an earlier hour. Could we meet during the week he asked?  I thanked him for letting me know and said I'd get back to him.

Was this cold feet?  Terminal shyness? Was this an anticipation-more-important-than-reality game? Do I give up?  I wasn't going to pursue it further when I got another message.  Can we meet tomorrow?  So I responded with a time and re-affirmed the location.

I still don't know if there are subs on Fetlife.  Third time will be a a charm or a permanent bust.  If not, there are only 276 pages more to go through locally.  We'll see what happens.



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