My Road To Submission by Patrick

My Road to  submission :Patrick Turquoise


Well there was a thread in fetlife "Struggling with your submission:The why" by Miss Eva. I had posted a remark in it, from which Mistress Nej and Lady Gabrielle had expressed interest in my story and how I got to where I am in my life and accepting my submissiveness. So that it might help someone else, and like what I am going to  do turn down a request from my Mistress?  So of course I said sure why not, but writing isn't one of my strong suits so hope everyone bears with me as I go along. Ok here we go for better or worse.

Thought I would start with some back ground, I grew up with five sisters perhaps that had something to do with how I turned out, I was the only boy.My mom died when I was a baby ,so was basically raised by my older sisters,  there were three older and two younger. By the time I was 14 the older ones had already moved out so was me and just my two younger sisters. When I reached 17 and a senior in high school I moved out of the house, me and my biological father had a falling out.

After I graduated high school I took the summer off and in the February of the next year joined the Marine Corps ooohra! I ended up doing six years, it wasn't so bad was just like a 9 to 5 job this was in the early 80's. After that basically went about life doing mostly factory jobs.

Now to the good stuff, I found bdsm and D/s late in my life. I had a girlfriend use a strapon once on me and it was like a light went on in my head. After it happened the feeling was holy cow! My Body was all tingly and my head was like hot damn. So that is what has been missing all this time from my life. This was around age 40. That was as far as she took it once in while using the strapon. In the end the relationship didn't last long. Looking back after that on all the other relationships I had always seemed they were missing something. which I will get to later in the story.

I like to research new interests so googled strapons and came across  some Femdom clips and right away gravitated toward the sub in them wishing to be them. This is how I feed my hunger for the most part for years watching Femdom clips and wishing one day to be a submissive.

It just grew in my heart that is what I wanted to be it was easy for me to accept,it is just part of my nature i guess. Priapus had said  in the thread that  I am someone who is comfortable in is own skin. He was pretty right on about that,plus at the age I was at really didn't care much what people thought. If I was at a different age perhaps I might have struggled with it,but being older I believe it made it easier.  I live by a motto of sorts as long as it makes you happy and not hurting anyone why not. You only have one life to live,make it as happy as you can.Life is hard enough.

From this grew a fascination with hypnosis, found it by accident from youtube. Looking up Femdom of course. In the search  category there  happened to be some erotic hypnosis videos. Well decided to check them out and was blown away by them. Was thinking to my self wouldn't it be way cool to be the most submissive I could  be. That add to my curiosity so did another search.

Found out all I could, joined this one hypnosis forum hypnotize me. They helped a lot,there were a lot of hypnotist on there and they were very happy to answer any question I had. While on there I found a  hypnotist that had her own webpage.  Went there liked what I saw so joined her forum. Found out I have one of those brains that just loves hypnosis.  Well the Lady ended up opening a store here in SL, Many came on to talk to use it as a chat room so to speak.

Well I went out exploring, my first search was castles. Found them and so much more for under castles search was dungeon and was hell yes! Was like a kid in a candy shop. From the dungeons I found the bdsm sims and from hell yes it went to Oh boy! Oh boy!. The store closed only after 3months,everyone else left SL.But what keep me here was knowing it had bdsm. The city I live in really doesn't have much of a scene and also I am  bit disabled too.So it was like way cool that I could at least be able to do it in SL.

One day I was doing a search for a place that would allow men to be prey too, there was this sim called the village. Were they only allowed men to hunt and women be prey. I figured this being SL there had to be a sim that allowed men to be prey.  Sure enough I was right found The Dominion under the search because of the hunt I suppose. Its been around a year and half, and its been the best year and half of my life.

From the first night I was there I knew I found the place for me,it was like it was meant to be.You see I was getting tired of playing in the bdsm sims and was wishing for something more real. Someone had told me that I should look into some Femdom sims.  So imagine my surprise when I landed.  I was like in shangri la.

That first night Lady Joie and Lady Zarita were in the courtyard, we made some small talk Lady Joie found out i was new to the sim and asked me if I would mind taking some instruction on edging. I was like whats that? Have to remember I was pretty new at bdsm and really no experience. Well she made  announcement in group that there was going to be a show in the courtyard and guess I was the main attraction as it were.

There was about 4 to 6 other Ladies that showed up. Lady Joie proceed to instruct me. It was my first real experience with a Domme. And to hear the fun in her voice when she was telling me what to do made my heart sing, it was like another light bulb went off I guess. Well  after she had her fun with me she stopped me before I came. At first was like aww dang was running through my head, then was like ok I know what has been missing all my life. Almost like I had an epiphany moment.

I  stuck around of course, learned a lot in my year and half.Guess Dommes really don't go to the grocery store in leather, high heal boots and carrying a whip, go figure but that's how the media portraits them. And one of the many things I have learned here is it isn't about the dress of the Lady but about her that makes her a Dominant or not.  It is thanks to the Ladies and subs of The Dominion that I have come this far with their help. I thrive here, this place feels like home to me, I can be the most me I can be here.So as you can see I never really struggled with my submission. The only thing I struggled a bit was telling friends and family. Here is the funny part though when I told them they didn't at all seemed that surprised. Maybe they already kind of knew, maybe so did most of my girlfriends don't really know. But do know I act no differently when being me or being submissive I am the same person it is a part of me and who I am. Why hide it ,your only denying who you are and that isn't any good at all.

 The best part  of my journey into submission is that the road I have traveled has led me to my darling Mistress Nej Xue.