Bebop's Tail Of The Enchanted Snail Shell

Once upon a time in a magical land called The Dominion, there was a handsome pirate. Beloved by all and as smart, funny, witty, clever, intelligent, attractive as he was modest! One day, while going about his pirating, pillaging and whatnot, he came across a magical talisman, said to turn the voice of he who holds into gold, able to sing the most incredible ballads and songs that would make the heart soar upon hearing it.



Hearing of the amazingly ruggedly handsome pirate's new acquisition, the wicked witch decided that she would hear this magical song, to bottle the power within it and use it in her nefarious concoctions and spells. She came upon the incredibly manly pirate in the courtyard of the royal Dominion castle, where he was casing the joint for some piracy or other.



"Yon pirate, I would have from you a song so sweet as to incur diabetes in the general population!" she declared!



"Nay, for 'tis a power I must use only for good, or for awesome! There is no telling the dark designs you hold for this magic!" the heroic pirate stated calmly.



The witch was infuriated at this defiance from the pirate. "If your power you'll not share, then I shall curse thee!" she declared, raising her arms in the air and reciting the ancient runes of the Marketplace. From the heavens descended a mytical box that, upon touching the handsome pirate, transformed him into a pink and blue snail.



"As a snail you shall be, until you come to sing for me! Aahhhh hahahahahahaha!" The witch cackled as she vanished into the aether.



"Aww cabbage patch kids.." the pirate-snail said, realising this would put a serious hold on his plans to pillage the castle. In order to hide from further wrath of the Witch, the pirate-snail sought refuge among 7 vertically challenged individuals: Darky, Heathery, Rolfy, Tysony, Vortexy, Saniyany and phil.



One day while they were out mining, and the pirate-snail was redecorating his shell, he met a fair maiden he had known in his past, the days before his life or piracy on the shores of SL. Yes, they had been simpler times and she had been a wonderful Mistress to him. It had been a sad day when she had been forced to leave, and unleashed him upon the world, but there had been little choice. There was a dragon to slay and it would occupy all of her time.



Even as a snail, she recognised him immediately! "My poor poor boy, what ill fate hast befallen you?" she asked as she stroked his shell and toyed with his feathered hat.



The pirate-snail explained the entire story, mournfully. The fair maiden (she is fair, honest, just ask her) kept a straight face and promised she would break the witches curse. There was a magical collar that she had found in her journeys that would render the wearer immune to all magic other than hers.



As the collar was locked around the eyestalks, a magical cloud engulfed the pirate-snail!  When it cleared the shell was gone, the slime vanished! Although her magic had transformed him into a shape and vision pleasing to her, and so he was no longer a pirate, he could finally scratch that itch on his nose that he had been unable to reach for four months.



The witch, hearing of this thwarting of her curse, railed at the heavens and cursed the world around her. But then she realised she had a spell that would allow her to publish the autobiography of the pirate-snail-normal boy. So everyone lived happily ever after!