Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Confessions of a New Girl- 6 Months Later - Zaira

Confessions of a new girl - 6 months later

During my very first week at the Dominion I was asked to write a confession. I had no idea what confessions was and had never attended. It was a daunting task because I knew enough that what I would confess would be some peoples first and only impression of me.

I was new to femdom, new to bdsm many would have said. I was not one of them.

I confess I did not really expect it to take over my secondlife as it has done since then, and move beyond it.

I confess that the tone of the Ladies when they correct a sub still makes me thankful, as I said then, that I have spent time making my av "pretty" and that I picked a sensible name.

I confess I do not find trials any easier now than I did that very first week. I know now that I do not like tiny avatars, though I still think Tweety was the better option from a tube of lube. I confess I still like the police uniforms, though my eyes do not now wander over them as they did then.

I confess that being called to the feet of Ladies, excited me and delighted me as much as I thought it would do in my first week.

I confess I under estimated the impact of the Dominion as a whole, and the impact those I would meet here would have on my life.

Even as impressed as I was in that first week, I did not expect it to be so true, for 6 months later it not to have slipped into constant drama, bickering and bitchyness. I confess I was slightly relieved when I realised it did happen though, now and then but was dealt with well.

I confess that as time moves on, it annoys me more to be called Miss, or Lady .. or when boys im me and say "look I greeted you first" or "I still consider you above me".

I confess that although I miss female submissives, I have found a few male friends here that I never thought would be possible.

I have shared many emotions here, during confessions in my past 6 months. I have confessed to being unsure, to wondering what it would be like to being owned by a Lady here. I have been owned by this Lady.

I confess now that asking to leave the consideration of this Lady whom I cared so much about, was one of the hardest things I have done, ever. I confess even with the pain that came after it, I hoped we would get back to where we are now.

There were days when I was tempted to tp away and never return.

I have confessed in secret my pain, and my hope as I looked forward from all of this, when I could not speak it myself and was supported by those around me. I was supported by amazing Ladies for whom I will always be grateful in how they held me up and pushed me forward.

I confess I knew where I wanted to be but that it took huge steps for me to admit this, to a Lady I had already met in the flesh. It was scary for it to be so real in the beginning of a relationship to have sat with her, walked with her, held open the door for her.

I have shared .. confessed even that I was happy in my consideration, I confess I am still happy, in fact it grows with each day.

I confess that without expecting anything of this place, and these people it has gone far and above my expectations.

I have changed and grown and learnt so much about myself in the past 6 months, with the help of those here. Not just my submission but me to my very core. My Mistress has secured this growth and encourages me daily, to fly in the sheer delight of being hers.

I confess that I didn't think I would be a lucky one, one who got to meet their owner.

I never thought, 6 months ago that I would be sitting here now, ready to confess some of my first real, in the flesh experiences, let alone with a Mistress I met here. I am, you will have to wait till next week for that one though.

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