Saturday, July 18, 2009

Anonymous Sub Confession

I guess I’m not unusual here.  Not a stand out of the crowd kind of guy.  I like that and so I’ll remain one of the lads kneeling in the audience for the moment.  I know who I am and She knows who She is.  This one’s for Her.

I met my current Mistress through an online RPG, not SL, with a strong BDSM theme.  Believe it or not I joined it through curiosity, not a desire for anything else but the setting showed to me very fast I was a very Sub bloke.  For a very long time My current Mistress wasn’t my Mistress, just a very good friend.  We cared about each other a lot, shared many jokes and mainly just faffed together when we could.  (For the non UK folks:  Faffed = time wasted).  I wound up in a couple of relationships as a sub, one good, one not so good.  In fact it was the second that began to mess me up.  All my current Mistress could do was watch on as I made one self destructive choice after another.  She kept me sane, listened to me but didn’t pull, just left the door open so I could see the light.  Sometimes loyalty can be too much, or maybe I was just stuck in bad habits.  Whatever the reasons, my Mistress saved me from myself.

After I got my head mostly straightened we were together a lot more and we came to understand each other better.  However when she started to mention a cock cage I was a bit surprised, one, because I’d never heard of the things before and, two, I didn’t think She thought like that.  We looked at a few together and between us chose one.  

I was actually excited when I picked the thing up in the Post Office, my letterbox being too small for the parcel.  It was not to be, however.  My Mistress ahs what She calls an ‘evil’ streak.  I call it teasing because She loves me.  Any way you look at it, it was a bit of a let down at first when She told me it couldn’t be opened for a week.  Worse than Christmas, I tell you!

That’s where She showed her cleverness.  It was such a moment opening that thing together.  Looking at it, commenting on it, and, of course, putting it on.  I’ve never Heard her giggle so much as she watched me fumble and struggle with my meat and two veg to get that thing to fit.  Not boasting here, I’m very average, but the damn things are fiddly until you get used to them.  Try it yourself some time and if you can get one on for the first time in under five minutes I’ll crown you king for a day.

These days She makes me wear it to all sorts of places.  It’s quite bulky and you can see there’s something under my trousers if you look.  It’s not unobvious at all.  She loves the thought of me trying to stammer a red-faced explanation if I’m asked about it.  Learning to walk a distance in one was…interesting.  I like the thing so much that one of her favourite threats of punishment is to disallow me from wearing it, would you believe!  For me, it means always knowing She’s close in spirit, if not distance, and that She cares very much about me.


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