Bad Gratitude by Miss Monday

Sometimes, when things happen in life... bad things, we want to sink and wallow in our suffering.

"It's horrible and it'll never get better!"
"Why me? Why now?"

Things we love taken away.  People we love, leaving us.  Our hope and home compromised.  The feel of loss and loneliness.  We feel ugly, unwanted, unloved.  Discarded and forgotten.  That one person we wanted so desperately has left, and you're left with unrealized desires and tears.  Our world ... the tenuous reality we have worked so hard to create is shattered and our world will never be the same again.

This is what we should be thankful for.  Getting shaken up, having that comfort, how ever minimal, taken away.  Because we are meant for better, greater things.  Deeper things...

To leave something you wanted behind, something that really wasn't for you.  To return to the status quo and start over.  This is what life is about.  Finding our way, discovering what is best for us.

I lost that which I held most dear.  The one person I worked for, bared myself for... Only to turn around and be lost again when he left.  I thought myself lost.  Steeped in tears and the cobwebs washed away... I was closer to being me, to being found than I ever imagined.

Sometimes we lose what we think we want, and end up finding what we really need.  I found myself in those hard months after the break up... And I found the one that compliments me, adds to my life, and allows me to add to his.  I found my family.  I found my Home.  I found my Love.

And I am grateful for the bad things.