Welcome Home

Submitted by: Ravanys Lavendel

Dear Syriana,

It has been almost two months and four days since my last confession.

I have overcome tremendous adversity in life. I have sailed to distant lands, captured minds and hearts, enslaved poor, young men to serve my whim throughout my life, and generally have done many amazing things that I can't even begin to mention here, not the least of which for fear that it may incriminate a few noteworthy and famous - albeit married - gentlemen of reputation. Now, however, I have been tasked with what I had feared could be the insurmountable.

I have had to take a day job.

Dressed like a common laborer in (*wretched, disgusted sound here*) hospital scrubs.... with the mandatory color of.... WISTERIA... I am now part of what this Corporate Catholic Culture considers "their healthcare team." In trying to find ways that I might exercise my dominance at work, I became excited thinking I might get to bring a few physicians to their knees, tease some unsuspecting orderly, and generally attempt to sexually harass the weak as I saw fit in my new reign of queendom.

Then I found out the ugly truth. I wasn't really going to see anyone like that. I was going to be pretty much locked up in a room with about 12 other ladies, most of whom were about fifty seven years of age. With only occasional visits from the IT guy.

And everyone knows that IT guys do not look you in the eye, so they are immune to my supernatural charms.

(deep sigh).

In times like these, I pull deep from the well of sisterhood to find strength. I miss my friends at Dominion so much, and I am so exhausted when I come home from this draining probationary period at the hospital only to fall asleep after I've finished my other work here at home. And so, I will leave you with this parting conversation. The end of my confession that my job is not exciting, sexy, or fun. I don't even get to flirt.

"Oh, this is lovely. What a beautiful design."

"No, no, Miss. We aren't *here*. We're down in the basement. This is just where the physicians do their dictation."

"Ahh, okay. Great! Well, you lead."

*long pause, footsteps*

"Oh my. This is down into the bowels of the building isn't it?"

"It is."

"It hasn't been updated in some time it looks like. That looks like a very old design, but neatly kept. Very well built. That stonework is just amazing. Beautiful in its own way."

"Well, I'll tell you a little secret. Did you know what our wing was back in 1924, when they opened?"

"No, what?"

"It was the Convent."

So there you have it, my friends. Welcome home, Sister Ravanys.