Spontaneous Confessions 24/11/14

Q: How did you realize you were Dominant or Submissive?

A: I've always been prone to taking charge and leading my peers. Always. Within the context of BDSM, a submissive use to follow me around like a puppy dog. At the time, I always thought of him as a friend. One day he said to me, "You're a Domme and you don't even know it!" Thus began my curiosity and journey into what many call, The Lifestyle.

- Promises Paine


How did you realize you were Dominant or Submissive?

I realized when I was four and I wanted everything and made sure everyone knew.  I had them at my beck and call.


How did you realize you were Dominant or Submissive?

How did I realize I was submissive? Well... I guess you could say it was more of an underlying trait. I've always enjoyed pleasing people. I've always enjoyed seeing others gain pleasure from work that I have done, or favors that I have performed, or just... my presence. Entering into the D/s world was sort of an "Oh shit, there's a word for this!?" kind of deal. It lead to a whole new world of discoveries about things I can enjoy doing for another or enduring for another.


How did you realize you were Dominant or Submissive?

There was never an "ah ha!" moment.  Over the last few years I just started to explore D/s and just naturally found my way.  Like a leaf floating down a stream.


How did you realize you were Dominant or Submissive?

The idea that I was submissive came gradually as I realized my sex life was subject to the whims, desires, wants and needs of women. Honestly, I've been attracted to strong women most of my life (though not sexually) because all the women in my life (mother, aunts, etc) were strong Italian and Irish-American women who didn't put up with any BS from men.  The sexualization part started with my first college girlfriend (Sharon) who was heavily into tease and denial.  Any sex I got over my youth was at the whim of my partners; it was 'out of my control'.  As I began to visit topless clubs in my 30's, it was obvious that the ladies decided who they'd spend time with -- not me.  --- Anyway, as the twig is bent so grows the tree.  And nothing has changed over the years.  Man proposes; woman disposes.


How did you realize you were Dominant or Submissive?

It is perhaps one of the questions that I find difficult to answer. I did consider myself to be Dominant for a major part of my life. During later years, I realized that I wasn't so much of a Dominant and that what I perceived to be my Dominance was in fact a result of social conditioning. This made me look for experiences in the other side and it started bit by bit. That is all I can say.