A Lost Love by Joracus

A Lost Love, By Joracus(Auragazm)


Her name was, "Rebecca," although I had noticed close friends call her, "Becca." We went to the same college together, and even had casual, yet awkward, conversation before the start of the some classes we shared. I wouldn't call us friends, even though I tried my hardest to find common interests. We could be called acquaintances at best. She was so beautiful; a head full of flowing red hair, soft smooth skin, a nice sized chest, and well defined hips, they complimented her figure well.

I tried so many times to work up the courage to ask to join her for lunch, or ask her to a movie, even just for a cup of coffee. Although, each and every time I found a bit of courage to finally go up to her, I would feel my knees get weak, my heart pound in my chest, and beads of sweat run down my forehead. I could already hear her rejecting me... when did I turn into such a coward? I would stand there for a moment, a dumbfounded look on my face, and then walk away without a word. I hated myself for being so stupid, and lived day after day just watching her from afar.

I would see her everyday, when we passed each other on our way to classes, or in the classes that we had together. I had noticed the way her face lit up when she was happy, the way her nose scrunched up when she found something distasteful, the way her eyebrows would raise slightly when she found something interesting. I noticed all of these things, and yet I felt she would never notice me.

She would never have noticed a guy like me, someone so plain and average. She could of had anyone she wanted. Her boyfriend did not deserve her. I knew his type, the typical 'frat boy,' who partied all night while she would study hard and alone in her dorm room. The kind of guy that wouldn't even think twice about cheating on her. The kind of guy who thought his life was his one and only priority. He didn't care about what she had to say, he didn't even hold her hand as they walked around campus. I wish she could of seen that she deserved so much better, I wish I could have told her that she deserved so much better.

How do you admire someone from afar for so long, and still be unable to come to terms with it? How do you take a chance when you know the odds are against you? I could sit for ages and just watch her. Catching small whiffs of her perfume from across the classroom, while I stole glances and pretended to look busy when someone caught my gaze. Why was it so hard? Even after all of the pep-talks I gave myself, it was still so hard.

Fall came, and as the leaves started changing color, I too decided it was time for a change. I could no longer sit on the idly by and watch her be mistreated, taken advantage of, and go unloved. Around lunchtime I went to her favorite lunch spot, but she was wasn’t there. I went to the library, and still no such luck. I went to our usual classes, and her seat was empty. Where could she have gone?

My days were dull and meaningless without her to admire, classes went on forever, my mind was wrecked with worry, I felt as if I was going to fall apart and whither away like the leaves on the trees. Where could she have gone? Those first few days were long and uneventful, but then a week went by...and then a month, she was gone and I had lost my chance forever.

I'll remember you for who you were. I'll remember the way your face lit up when you were happy, the way your nose scrunched when you found something distasteful, the way your eyebrows would raise slightly when you found something interesting. I'll think back and remember the days where you sat alone in your dorm room and studied alone, and I should have been there knocking on your door. I'll go back and remember how I should have told you how I felt. I'll remember how I should have told you how beautiful you were everyday. I'll remember to bring flowers to where you now lay, and I'll remember how much I loved you, and I'll remember how you never knew.

THE END