Saturday, March 12, 2011

RFL Confession By Jerbo Toxx

From Jerbo Toxx

I saw the notice on the request for confessions for Relay for Life, and wish to share my story. Please pass this on to Miss Zarita? You may use my name.

Hopefully this can be shared Miss, and if anyone has any questions about my particular cancer, let them know they can always contact me through my email address in my profile.

--- From a survivor ---

Many of you know I am a bilateral amputee (below the knee.) What some of you may not know is I am also a cancer survivor.

My story starts about 7 years ago. I, like many others took my health for granted.

In this instance I was helping my wife as we planned to attend our sons wedding. He and his future bride were getting married in Las Vegas and we were all excited to attend.

I first noticed the lump on my neck around this time, but did not think much about it. However, I count myself lucky in that I had a visible sign of this illness. Most do not until it is almost too late. However, like most of us, I ignored it at first, thinking that i t was just an inflammation of some sort. In fact after about a week, I went to the doctors to get it checked out and he suspected that it was an infection and prescribed antibiotics.

Naturally, after my weeks treatment, the swelling did not go down and in fact increased in size. However, I was excited to attend my sons wedding and still ignored it further. Well, we went to the wedding and then my wife began to express her concern about the swelling. It was now noticeable to anyone, and looked like I had the mumps (on one side of my face.) So I agreed to get checked as soon as I returned.

Well, the wedding was wonderful and on arrival back home I went back and the doctor said he needed to send me to an Ear Nose and Throat (ENT) specialist. The ENT doctor scheduled me for a biopsy, which is to take a piece of the tissue and make a determination. Naturally my adrenalin was starting to work, and the big "C" word was beginning to form in my head.

I was prepped and the procedure would be done under a general anesthesia. It was simple enough, they would remove a small part of my lymph node (where the swelling was determined to be,) and then diagnose if there was anything wrong. Results would be available in a couple of days.

What a long couple of days. Sitting, and waiting, fearing what may be. Would it be Cancer? Would it be treatable? Only time would tell.

Well, finally the doctor called and said to come into the office to discuss the results. Naturally I asked, but he said I had to come in for the results. Turns out he does that for all results (good or bad.) Anyway, we arrived and he came in and said it WAS Cancer. Non-Hodgkin large B-Cell lymphoma. Naturally I was awash with all kinds of emotions and questions. Immediately I asked if I could have a copy of the results sent to my primary care doctor at the Veterans Administration Hospital. Being a Veteran, my next thought is how to pay for any treatment. And hoping that the VA would help provide treatment or at least suggest a good doctor.

I called my doctor at the VA and informed him I had results from the biopsy, and if he could see if I could get treatment there. He had me FAX the information to him and said he would call me back. Well, again I braced myself to wait a few days knowing that the doctor may be busy with other patients. But surprisingly, he called back the next morning and said he sent a referral over to Oncology, and they would be calling me to come in for testing. He said it may take a day or two depending on their schedule. I hung up, and told the wife that I could be seen by the VA, and no more than ten minutes later the phone rang.

"Hello, this is the Oncology department, and we want you to come in tomorrow morning to be admitted for testing, and treatment.", she said. I was flabbergasted. So after talking a bit more to make arrangements, I was there the next day. They wanted to do a full workup on me. Blood work, checking for the specific type of cancer, and also my general health. Also, they wanted to schedule me for a bone marrow biopsy. Not the most pleasant procedure. I will spare you the details, but if your into S&M, I can share it with you later......grins.

After all the results were in, the determined the course of treatment would be chemotherapy. This particular treatment was called CHOP-R, which is a concoction of five different medications and IV fluids given to kill the cancer cells. Chemo works by actually trying to kill fast dividing cells in the body (which is what cancer is.) And it also in most cases reduces your immune system so that you have difficulty in fighting off infection.

Anyway, from the time they admitted me, to the time of my first treatment was just under a week. And that is pretty fast I hear. I don't remember all the chemicals that pumped into me save one. the "R" in CHOP-R, was called Rituximab (or as I call it, Rituxin). This I feel was the 'magic bullet" for my type of cancer. Don;t get me wrong, this chemical has a serious side effect and is deadly in its own right. (If you want to know more, you can visit the following web site: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0000388/)

Now, by this time the swelling on my neck was about the size of a baseball, and hard to the touch. When they started the IV drip for Rituxin, they start out slow and then increase the dosages every half hour. It takes about 8 hours to infuse it all. About half way up to full dosage, I started to experience severe itching, and then a rash all over my body. They stopped the treatment and then notified the doctor, who then had them restart the dosage just below where I started to experience symptoms. This increased the time to over 16 hours for the complete series to be given. It seems this is the main reason they start low and increase over time.

But you ask, how did I feel? What was going through my mind? Well, naturally fear. Knowing it was a fatal disease, and not knowing how long I may have to live. Fortunately, the doctor treating me taught at the local university and was one of the top doctors in his field. But, I was touched my my own mortality on that day I learned I had cancer. And that is why I embrace each day now. And even though the doctor said the treatment may seem to be a cure, you are never assures that you have it all.

Anyway, after my first round of chemotherapy, they kept me for a few more days for observation. Remarkably, the following day after treatment, we noticed the hardness to the lump was softer. After a couple of days it was very soft. In a few more days we noticed the lump shrinking. In less than two weeks, the swelling had gone down completely and there was no sign of it!

I completed 7 more rounds of chemotherapy once every three weeks. About half way through my treatments, my Cat Scans showed no traces of cancer (which was also in my torso and groin.) And I have been cancer free for the last 6 years.

Sadly, the week of my last treatment and finding out I was in remission, my wifes best friends husband found out he had cancer of the bone. And even after all the chemo and treatments he lost his battle just last year. He fought for five years, when they gave him only two to three.

It goes to show that we must embrace life to the fullest and love those around us with all our heart. And that is why I can say to all of you......I Love you.

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