To The Goddess - Anonymous

"Goddess, keep and protect me until the morning."

My last words before bed. I get off my knees and climb into bed, trying to stop the thoughts from swimming in my head. Will i ever resolve these issues? I drift off into an uneasy sleep, full of dreams of my Mistress and not being able to please Her, no matter how hard i try. 

The Creed tells me to be open and honest with my Mistress about my feelings but i know that in being so i am causing Her pain and anger. If i keep these feelings to myself, She will not be disturbed by them but i will not be true to Her or myself. The truth is plain to see - i am no longer favoured by Her and i must accept this gracefully and move on, accepting my own responsibility for the situation. But i cannot calmly walk away when to do so would be to give up on my hopes and dreams.

The worst thing of all is the feeling that i am no longer needed, no longer wanted, no longer desired. i know this feeling well and have striven for many years to avoid its clutches. But my actions have not been positive - i have just been running away in the hope that it did not see me. i failed. Like the dream i had when i was a child, i am on a staircase with evil and danger stalking me from both ends, coming towards me and with nowhere to run. i can't escape. i must face my worst nightmares and once more venture into the dark in the hope i can find a glimmer of light to guide me.

i approach the edge of the abyss, the darkness....

 

"Goddess, keep and protect me until the morning."

and leap...........