“Where the Hell is Batman when you need him?”
“Welcome back Disco fans. When we last left our heroes they had been captured by the evil and diabolical mastermind Garlak. Oh no! And now seem to have found them bound and slowly sinking into a huge tub of vanilla ice cream. Will they be able to escape in time to stop Garlak from making off with the beautiful Lady Evangeline or will they become the surprise at the bottom of a dairy queen sundae? Hang in there Disco fans and find out! Another episode of Disco Man and Panzer Boy Adventures is Burn Baby Burning its way over right now!”
Looking around and wondering where the hell that voice came from I ignored it as both Panzer and I did our best to think of a way out of our predicament. Only moments before Garlak had left laughing telling us that it was time for dessert. Unfortunately the dessert was us. We were up to our chests in melting ice cream before I suddenly remembered that the rope we were bound with was the same they used to bind there drug bags with. Made by midget pigmies in the lower Amazon basin it was incredibly strong but another aspect was it was terribly stretchy when wet.
“Panzer I got it!” I shouted
“What what have you got Disco Man?” he replied.
“We have to soak the rope and get it wet. Hold your breath and dive into the ice cream when I do!”
“What are you nuts?”
“Just do it Panzer!”
Holding our breaths we dove under the surface of the ice cream. Working quickly we moved and lathered the rope with the melted ice cream around us. Suddenly like a loosen rubber band the ropes stretched as they became soaked in the milk. Both of us came up for air and held to the side of the tub of ice cream. Panting as the rope binding us slide over our heads and slipped down our legs.
“Holy rubber bands Disco Man” Panzer said.
“Yes milk does a body good Panzer.” I told him
“I never would have thought that could have worked.”
“Well now we have to get out of this tub and hopefully catch Garlak before he makes off with Lady Evangeline.”
“There Disco Man.”
Panzer pointed to a wench and pulley system that they must have used to drop us into the ice cream in the first place. Nodding I took out my Disco hook from my Disco belt which Garlak had foolishly left around my waist and threw it at the lower button on the wall. The wench kicked on and lowered the hook to let us climb out, soaking wet and cold onto the catwalk. From there we made our way through the door that Garlak had taken. I am sure he wasn’t expecting us to survive our encounter but I love giving people surprises.
“I wonder how we do it Disco Man.” Panzer said as we found some of our things laying in a room a little down the hallway.
“What do you mean?” I asked him picking up my Disco cane.
“Well I mean… how we get into these scraped and then get out of them. It’s like someone is dreaming up these situations and controlling our destiny.”
“Things like that only happen in the movies Panzer. This is real life.”
“Yea I guess you’re right.”
Arming ourselves once again we met hardly any resistance as we hurried after Garlak. Not sure what we would find when we made our way back to the main factory floor we prepared ourselves for anything. Upon hearing voices ahead we slowed and peered through a window in the upper offices of the old factory to see what was going on. There was Garlak and his brother Hylarks speaking as many of their cronies moved about loading bags of drugs into the back of a truck. Lady Evangeline was nowhere in sight to our disappointment. Taking out my Disco hearing ball we listened in on their conversation.
“Everything is almost in place Hylarks. And with Disco Man and Panzer Boy out of the way no one will be able to save the City from what I have planned.”
“Yes it does seem so. We only need another few truckloads of the special drug. Then we can deploy it and use it against the City. You will be Master of all Dominion brother.”
“And you will be Prince of the New Dominion brother. It took some rather hard doing to get Lady Evangeline to even come up with the drug. Granted she didn’t really…. made up some useless junk that was close. But close enough that my own scientists completed the job… at least enough to administer it to her so she would do a proper job.”
“I wonder how she would feel if she knew she made the chemical that can induce submissive behavior in anyone.”
“Probably be proud of it… except she doesn’t expect us to unleash it on all the women of Dominion and make them our slave’s brother. We are on the verge of revolution, as I said nothing can stop us now.”
“But brother did you really leave Disco Man and Panzer Boy to die in a huge tub of ice cream? I mean why not shoot them? Or at least leave some guards to make sure they died.”
“My dear Hylarks…do I tell you how to run your plans? Or worry about the times I catch you watching that Lady Destiny on the English Mistress Channel? “
Hylarks Coughed and looked around. “Well umm no you don’t.”
“Exactly… your secret is safe with me and besides there is no possible way they can escape.”
Panzer and I looked at each other grinning for a moment. Then took in what they had said slowly. A drug weapon to enslave the women of Dominion, this was bad very bad, and worst yet they seemed to have been able to control Lady Eva into making it. If she was still under the effect of the drug there was no telling what Garlak might make her do.
“Holy drug rehab Disco Man. If Garlak and his brother can figure out how to get that drug induced into the City the whole place will be thrown into chaos.”
“Precisely Panzer Boy and we will have to stop these dastardly deluded deranged destitutes of diabolical drudgery before it’s too late.”
Panzer just kind of looked at me weird then shrugged.
“So what’s the plan Disco Man?”
“We have to get to the Disco mobile and warn Cockbeater at the Disco Cave that he needs to find ways to neutralize this drug and to find possible ways that Garlak might use it against the City.”
“Disco mobile? You mean The Lady. And Disco Cave? Don’t you mean the Pet-Retreat?”
Shaking my head for a moment I look at Panzer. “Yea that’s what I said wasn’t it?”
“Yea I guess. So anyway shall we?”
“Yes let’s go.”
Walking out onto the catwalk above the main floor of the factory Panzer wasted no time in firing his shock collar gun dropping two of Garlaks Gorean gang boys. I tossed one of my stun grenades into the mist of a knot of them sending them all to the floor out cold. Garlak and Hylarks looked confused then realized what was going on. Hylarks moved to protect his brother but did shoot him a satisfying look of I told you so before ordering his minions to the attack.
“What? How? Damn you Disco Man!” Garlak shouted at us.
“Thanks for dessert Garlak. Now it’s time to pay the check.” I chuckled in reply to him as with a resounding POW to the kisser I took out one of his thugs as Panzer zapped a few others easily.
“Hylarks get in the truck it’s time to leave.” Garlak said.
Bogged down with a small horde of Gorean guard we weren’t able to stop Garlak from speeding away with their load of the Submissive inducing drug. We wouldn’t catch them anyway if we didn’t make it to The Lady in time to chase them. Having lost my communication medallion in the ice cream I couldn’t even call Cockbeater to try and track them with his equipment. Luckily it was only a short while of pows, bamf’s and bongs that we took out the Gorean guards Garlak left behind and made it to The Lady. Hopping into the driver’s seat and Panzer in right behind me we hit the ignition and rocketed out after Garlak. He had a good ten min on us but no sooner had we gotten into The Lady than Cockbeater was on the case tracking Garlak through the streets of Dominion.
We raced down 32nd Avenue south and swung onto Dominion Street. Cockbeater had spotted the truck in the traffic cams at the intersection of Dominion and Worship Streets. Racing along we heard the City of Dominion police scanner erupt into an a.p.b. for Garlak’s truck and descriptions of Hylarks and him.
“Calling all Cars...Calling all Cars...This is an all points bulletin for the immediate capture and subduing of two males. Get this… dressed as Vikings driving a refrigerated white semi truck. Truck is identified with license plate Tango Charlie Alpha 14467 Dominion tags and has Dominion Ice Cream on the sides. Suspects are armed and to be considered extremely dangerous. Also wanted in connection to the kidnapping of Lady Evangeline.”
Catching up to the truck half way down Worship Street we were soon joined in the chase by some of Dominion’s finest. I have to hand it to Garlak he seemed to have no fear racing through the City of Dominion as he did his best to elude us and Dominion’s finest. Spike strips deployed gun shots at their tires even our own E.M.P. device seemed to have no effect on the truck as we did what we could to stop it. Finally the truck followed by what seemed to be the entire police force of Dominion screeched to a halt in the middle of Mistress Plaza down town. Quickly the Fem cop’s spread out and encircled the truck drawing weapons and pinning in the brothers. Panzer and I jumped out and hurried around to get a look at the brothers just in time to see them duck into the back of the truck through a door in back of the driving cab. Before negotiations either civil or otherwise could be conducted for their surrender an explosion rocked the street sending smoke and small chunks of asphalt raining down onto us and the police. Picking ourselves up from the ground and taking a few moments to check on the Ladies and officers around us we turned to the truck and stared in awe for a moment.
The truck was down flush to the ground, the cab a twisted hunk of metal and the park plaza a cracked jumble of masonry surrounding it. Dust was settling as Panzer and I rushed to the truck and threw open the back of it. What we saw disturbed us even more. A hole had been blow in the street and the bottom of the truck holding the submissive inducing drug was gone as well as Garlak and Hylarks. Dropped right into a sewer tunnel below the street, it had to have been all planned, for there was barely anything left. In a huge illusionist puff of white smoke and pyrotechnics just to keep our heads down. It must have only taken moments to wisk them to safety as well as their cargo. Only one bag of the submissive inducing drug was left. I grabbed it without thinking and tossed it to Panzer.
“Make sure some of that gets to Cockbeater to analyze.” I told him. Then I heard the click.
Turning I saw a round device with a timer begin to count down. About the size of a basket ball it read one minute and fifty seconds. Written on the top in hastily scribbled letters was a message. “Check Paid in Full.”
“Holy ticking time bombs Disco Man!” Panzer shouted.
Not really knowing what I was doing I grabbed the bomb and raced toward the river that ran nearby to dispose of it. Panzer was behind me shouting to drop it and get away. But I couldn’t help myself something drove me not to let this one go off. Racing down the blocks I saw an abandoned park and was about to toss it there when I all of sudden a little league baseball team showed up for practice. Panting I raced through the field as one of the boys pointed and the kids went wild seeing one of their heroes in person. Not stopping for autographs and only about a minute to go I raced down the other block to the river. Spotting an empty armored car outside a bank I planned to pull the guard out and throw the bomb in. Knowing the explosion would be contained in the armored car. Then wouldn’t you know it…. I noticed a little old lady about to get smashed by an un-attentive asshole talking on a cell phone in his car. Sighing I dashed over and grabbed the old lady out of the way in time. Apologizing for the rough handling I kept running. No time to turn back now only forty five seconds left. Finally making it to the river I wound up to throw the bomb from the shore when I noticed all the sunbathers that had decided to pick this day of all days to enjoy a picnic or swimming at the river.
Panting and looking around I grumbled to my-self “Some days you just can’t get rid of a bomb.”
Finally noticing the restaurant river pier I raced for it. Dashing past startled onlookers and patrons of the restaurant I ran to the end with only a few seconds counting down before throwing it with all my might into the river and diving to the wooden deck as it exploded in huge gout of white water. Panting from running so hard and blinking as the bomb induced rain shower rained down. I could have sworn I saw a shark blow up when I tossed that but figured there was no way, not in a fresh water river. Panzer finally caught up to me.
“You alright Disco Man?”
“Yea Panzer I’m fine. You still have some of that drug?”
“Yea its back at The Lady and Cockbeater says we need to get home. He has some information and Lady T wants to speak to us.”
“Alright let’s go.”
As we heading back through the restaurant we got stopped by the crowd of Ladies and Gentlemen that wanted to drink to our health and congratulate us on saving them and the City again. Seems word travels fast in this town. Mired down in the City’s kindness we couldn’t easily escape this as we had from Garlak and still be polite. So we endured the praise embarrassingly for a while till finally Panzer and I was able to get near each other again after much handshaking and hugs.
“Lady T will understand us being a little late but we really need to get going Disco Man.”
“Yes our work is done here. Let’s leave…but inconspicuously…..through the window.”
So there we were slowly repelling down the side of the restaurant and pier to the shore below. Panzer was first and I right behind. We knew no one would see us no one ever does really. Never could really figure that one out but oh well just lucky I guess. We would get to The Lady and back to the Pet- Retreat for a bit of a rest and be back on the heels of Garlak in no time. Panzer brought me out of my thoughts.
“Disco Man want to explain to me, why you been talking so weird today?”
“Me? What about you Panzer all those, Holy this and that, you’ve been doing all day?”
“Okay good point I’ll shut up now.”
We looked around hearing that strange voice again and decided it was best to just ignore it. Its one thing to be a superhero it’s another to admit you hear voices.
“Disco Man and Panzer Boy save the day again in the gleaming City of Dominion. But what of Garlak and his evil designs upon the City? Will Disco Man and Panzer Boy be able to stop him from making the whole city having a bad acid trip? What does Cockbeater have to tell our heroes and will the mysterious Lady T be able to guide her boys to victory? Find out and join us again… same Disco Time… same Disco Channel!”
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