A Sonnet of Most Earnest Contrition by Argosian

A note from Esskah Stonesoul (esskah):

Upon discovering that My Argosian claimed to not know how to beg, I decided to teach him... trial by fire! Or in this case... trial by post!

In other words... he was posted, with a promise of no release... until he could offer a proper beg. Considering he is an avid roleplayer on my Sim with me... this was a punishment most dire!

The next morning, he produced the following Sonnet in request for release from his predicament.  I admit... I was moved to tears (of laughter).

(And yes, he earned his freedom.)

~oOo~~~~~~



A Sonnet of Most Earnest Contrition
by Argosian (alakyrr)



Alas! From woeful waffling gripes,
A quandary finds me fettered, dour
And on my face, imprints of stripes
From sleeping on Your hardwood floor!

What plaintive words could sway Your heart?
What piteous pleas would change Your mind?
Unaccustomed to this perilous art,
Has verse deserted me in kind?

And so by morning light awaked,
i do so beg Thee on bended knee
That You might find Your ire slaked
And from this lonely pole untie me.

For all of my most guarded treasures
my love is Yours beyond all measure.

Decision Time by Anonymous

Decision time for Mistress  

Mistress was running late. Bill had dinner ready and was keeping it warm for her. He had made a shepherds pie for her, one of her favorites. Finally he heard her open the door and come in. She was a little flushed and had a wicked grin on her face.

"Hello mine." she said. "I have a surprise for you, and even a treat if you earn it."

His head lifted up and he almost grinned. Treats were rare for him and earning them meant he was going to have a difficult task first.

"First things first, what have you made for dinner, it smells yummy." She pondered aloud.

"I made Shepherds pie for you Milady, your favorite." he replied.

"Mmmmm I love you mine. I shall eat it in the dining room." she grinned happily. She was very happy to have him here tonight. He was turning into a great pet, learning her needs and wants and mostly doing it without many stumbles, she was beginning to think she finally found a diamond in the rough. Tonight was going to be his biggest challenge. One of her favorite sights was of her sub sucking off a big cock. This test was where most of her other subs had failed, unable to get past the masculine ego and fear. She hoped this one would be the one that would prove himself. He had passed all her other tests very well, and if this one should go well she had decided to offer him a full collar.

Bill was worried, he knew she meant to really challenge him tonight. How was she going to do it would it be painful? would it be mean? Would he be able to endure it? So many questions to answer. He decided he would try to ignore the questions in his head.. He heard her finish her dinner and asked "Would you like some more Mistress or perhaps a glass of Sherry?"

Ahhh Sherry she thought what a perfect choice to watch him perform for her tonight. "Yes boy Sherry, I'll have it in the study...now."

He heard her command and poured a glass of sherry for her taking it to her. " Here you go Mistress. Will there be anything else?"

She smiled a wicked smile at him. "Yes mine. Tonight you have a special chore I need you to do. My bull is coming over tonight and I need you to perform a special service for me."

His thoughts went in a wide variety of ways. When she is with her bull he normally is asked to do nothing but lick her pussy and give her an orgasm or two getting her ready for him and then listen to how he pleases her with his big cock. What could she possibly want him to do besides please her orally? "A chore Mistress? What do you need done Mistress?"

She smiles her winsome smile. Now she'll discover whether he even has a chance. "Tonight I need you to show special reverence to my bull and show respect to him in a very specific way. Tonight I expect you to service his cock with your mouth and show how special it is for pleasing Mistress so beautifully." Now she thought the moment of truth.

He wasn't certain he heard her right. He thought she said he was supposed to give a Blowjob to her bull. "Pardon Mistress, do you want me to give your bull a blowjob?"

She smiled, he didn't flat out refuse, that's a start. "No pet I want you to love me by giving pleasure to the cock that serves me so well with your mouth, that serves me so well." She leans forward to see the reaction.

He is a bit stunned. He never bargained on this. He searched his feelings, can he do that? All his life he was told it was evil to do, especially for him to do, not in so many words, but the message got through very well. He thought about it for a few seconds, aware that her eyes were on him, her thoughts were about him and his answer. She was so very marvelous. She treated him with respect he had seldom felt, even as she used him. Could he really break down those old strong feelings.. How much is he willing to give her. He felt he was at a boundary. Can he push this boundary will it break him?

She watches carefully, she can see he is struggling and realizes she has hit a difficult boundary for him. What will he decide?

A dozen thoughts go through his mind. The most obvious thought is a question. How much will he do for her. She is such a lovely Lady. He tells himself at least twice a day every day how much she means to him and how lucky he is to serve her. He comes to a decision. "Yes Mistress I will show the reverence to his cock that he deserves for pleasing you so much."

Her inner self jumps with joy, but she knows he has just passed the first test. It has happened before where her pet would say yes and then decide at the last minute he can't do it. She hopes this one can.

"Very good mine. Now go fix my bath and prepare for his arrival." she orders.

He goes to start the water, a little apprehensive, yet a little excited too. He stops short, recognizing he is excited. He feels his small cock getting a little hard inside his cage and winces a bit as it gets stopped by the boundaries of it's metal walls. He resumes his task and puts it out of his mind for the time being. The water ready he helps her get undressed and into the tub. Then washes her completely using her favorite soaps. He helps her out of the tub and wraps her in a big soft warm towel drying her body completely.. He follows her to the bed and knows what's next.

 "Mine prepare my pussy for him." as she spreads her legs opening herself up for his tongue, fingers and lips.

 He begins by kissing her feet, trailing long slow kisses between licking and sucking on her soft skin. Finally he reaches her treasured spot. He plants kisses on her soft lips before he begins by sliding his tongue between her lips slowly drawing it from her opening to her clit. He swirls his tongue across her clit then slides it back to her opening. He dips his tongue inside to taste her warm juices and savor her scent. Then he lightly sucks on her soft lips using his tongue to stimulate them. He releases them and begins to let his tongue dance upon her clit in the way she loves. He slides one finger tentatively inside her knowing she doesn't always want penetration but tonight she sucks him in and moans loudly. Hearing her moan he slides a second well trimmed finger inside her and begins to stroke her inner walls while teasing her clit.

He reaches for and finds her g-spot and is rewarded with another moan as he strokes it while he loves her clit with his tongue. Matching the rhythm, pace and pressure he has learned over his time with her. He can tell he is on the right pace as she begins to moan constantly. His tongue dances across her clit in rhythm with his fingers stroking her inner walls. He feels her climax building smells her fragrance and notices the increased wetness. He works hard for her climax and is rewarded as she spurts her juices this time in orgasmic bliss moaning and bucking. He keeps licking as she cums again his tongue lavishing her clit fingers stroking her g spot. She bucks again and climaxes once more before he slows down to see if she is finished his tongue still licking but more tentatively not to make her too sensitive. She settles down and he smiles. He stops licking but stays close if she should tell him to continue.

"Ohhh god that was amazing tonight mine. You have done well so far.' she praises. She looks at the clock and sees it is almost time for him to arrive. "Help me with my robe and go get him a drink ready now." she orders.

He helps her with her robe and goes to mix his drink. He just finished the drink when the bell rings and he goes to let her bull in.

Her bull smiles at him "Thank you cuck." he says in a friendly tone.

Bill was a little surprised at the warmth tonight in her bull's tone. "I wonder if she told her bull what was planned." he thought.

"She is in the study sir. Please follow me."

When they arrived it suddenly hit Bill that the time of challenge was really here. "Oh god." he thought. "What shall I do? Can I do this?" His stomach began to flutter a bit but at the same time he noticed he was getting a little aroused again.

She told Sam, her bull, to get undressed as she had a treat for him tonight. She loved watching him get undressed his hard lean body and his big cock slowly being unveiled just for her. She was getting so aroused by what she hoped would happen tonight.

Sam removed his clothes seductively for her, he loved her body and he worshiped the time he had with her. He left his sexy briefs for last for her and toyfully played with it before he removed it for her his semi erect cock bobbing for her to see.

"Bill come here." she commanded. "See how big his cock is? It is mine and gives me such pleasure. Show me how much you wish to please me. Show me your reverence to this tool that gives me such pleasure."

"Yes Mistress." he speaks quietly. Bill moves over to Sam and kneels beside him . His big cock inches away from his mouth. He slowly reaches out for it and tentatively touches the first cock other than his he has touched. His mind is racing "Omg I am going to suck a cock." he thinks. slowly he moves his mouth to the giant head and gives it an experimental kiss. It is soft and warm he discovers. He opens his lips and carefully guides the head to them. It presses against them and he opens wider feeling the head slide inside his mouth. His first thought is to gag but he breathes through the instinct and holds the head in his mouth resting on his tongue. He is surprised when he notices his cock is rock hard inside it's tiny cage so hard it hurts.

He carefully slides his tongue over the mushroom head. "Watch your teeth." he hears his Mistress say. He pays close attention to his teeth opening wider so as not to touch it with them. He slides his tongue around the head and is rewarded with a moan from Sam. Boldly he decides to try sucking on it. He sucks and Sam moans again. The cock in his mouth starts to harden as he feels it get bigger.

He feels Sam grab his head and slide it further in his mouth. Bill relaxes and lets it happen. Then on instinct he begins to move his head up and down on this hard cock. his tongue massaging the underside as it slides in and out. Sam starts to moan and Bill feels liquid leaking from the head...precum he thinks. "I hope Mistress doesn't want him to cum in my mouth." he thought. He  lets the cock slide out of his mouth and looks at Mistress for approval. He absentmindedly finds himself stroking the length of Sam's cock.

Mistress smiles at her boy and says "Very good boy....so far. You have showed good reverence tonight. But you have tasted his cum mixed with my pussy juice before and not shrunk away from it so tonight you will let him cum in your hot mouth and taste it straight from him. Do you understand?"

She waits for what seems like forever as her cuck weighed his options. "Yes Mistress." he said as he realized there was no option. He loved her and would do anything for her.

He opened his mouth and this time really began to treat this cock like he imagined he would like to have his cock sucked. He slid his tongue all around the head and began to slide it in and out of his mouth sucking hard then soft. His tongue caressing the soft underside. Then he puts the head inside a little way and finds the sweet spot just below the soft head underneath and begins to lick it. teasing it loving it. He hears Sam's moans of pleasure and feels the urgency as his cock starts to twitch.

Bill knows it will be soon as he feels the spongy head grow larger in his mouth and feels Sam's legs begin to shake.

Sam shouts "Oh god ohhhh fuck."

Bills feels the head expand and then feels a shot of warm liquid spurt out of the head onto his tongue and hitting the roof of his mouth. It spasms and spurts as Sam moans. His hot seed spilling and splashing in Bill's mouth. Then twice more it spurts before oozing the rest onto his tongue.

Bill was startled at first when it happened then was concentrating on not spilling any as he was sure Mistress would disapprove of him if he did. He decided at the moment to just swallow the seed spilling into his mouth the taste so salty and so hot. He looks at his Mistress the softening cock still in his mouth and was rewarded with the sight of Mistress in the throes of a violent orgasm. He releases Sam's cock and see's Sam smiling too.

When Mistress finished her orgasm Bill meekly asks "did I do well Mistress?"

She smiles at him and says, "yes but I think you can do better next time."

The end

Kisses by Lady Crissy

Kisses
by Crissy Viper

The first kiss, on his nipple,
tongue darting to flick.
Tightness

The second kiss, on his neck,
teeth biting down.
Shuddering

The third kiss, on his ass,
nipping and pulling at the flesh there.
Clenching

The fourth kiss, on My cock,
licking lips first to moisten.
Moaning

The fifth kiss, with a smile on my face, on his lips,
possessing with passion and pressure.
Owned.

My Dream by Riddick

["For confessions from My bitch. Enjoy!" -- Esskah Stonesoul (esskah)

~~~~~~

    Before I start I must state that I am an avid Walking Dead fan and that I watch the show often. I have seen all the episodes, and I sometimes I will daydream about what it would be like to have that kind of freedom in a changed world where human being are not suppressed by 'wolf pack' governments constantly trying to enforce their ideals on the people around them- a world that isn't ruled by greed. Much of the time my daydreams turn to Femdom, a subject in which I am even more of a fan. It is my belief that the following dream resulted from this desire for such a world.

~*~

    Tucking the hem of my pants into my boots, I pulled the zippers up on the sides of the boots and I fastened the leather straps holding the boots securely around my calves. Standing up from the bed on which I had been sitting, I inspected myself. I was dressed fully in dark black clothing (as was the norm during my occasional nighttime supply-runs). I also wore tight fitting cargo pants and a cotton undershirt covered with a rip-stop bud jacket to protect again the frigid air, as well as leather mid-calf-length, standard-issue army boots.

   I stood, speaking idly to the woman in the room with me as she fastened my double holster around my waist.  The holster held two black 9 mm handguns and a few spare clips. I studied the woman as she helped me prepare for my outing. She was a bit shorter than me with a soft vulnerable face, dark-flowing shoulder-length hair, and sparkling green eyes.  These were covered by thin, brown, oval-shaped glasses. She was an attractive woman, and it bothered me a bit that I didn't know her name or who she was -- but I knew she was supposed to be there with me.

    Finally, I strapped my freshly sharpened knife into the twist-hold scabbard which was securely fastened to the leather strap on the front of my jacket. Strolling past the kitchen I popped a warm muffin into my mouth and I accepted the lunch bag that the woman held out to me. She kissed me on the cheek, softly, and wished me luck as she tucked my supply list into one of my pants' pockets. As I walked out what I thought was the front door, I could hear her saying that she would have a meal prepared for my return. I was a bit confused after walking out the door,  because I was standing at the bottom of a long staircase.  I immediately began to climb it only to find another door at its end. Upon exiting this second door I found myself standing in an open field deep in a woods on level ground.  I realized I had just left a hidden underground bunker where I must have been living. Locking this upper door behind me, I started, at a brisk pace, through the forest in the direction of a mountain I could see in the distance, now only a dark smudge against the night sky.

    It seemed as if it were only an instant that I walked through the woods, enjoying the night air, before I was standing on a hill looking down upon an abandoned town. I quickly made my way down to it and I started to loot the buildings for any supplies that might become useful. There were other persons nearby, but I paid them no mind as they seemed not to notice me. It wasn't until I was rummaging through some random canned goods in the old general store that had its front wall torn off that I found myself surrounded. I didn't notice anyone at first as I was focused on my task. When I saw boots step into my view, I looked up to see a young woman standing before me. She was blonde and short, at about my shoulder height. She was pretty, though a little rough around the edges. I guessed that her roughness was due to current living conditions. I stood and looked around and I then noticed that she was not alone. There were several other women close around. "The food is spoiled; you shouldn't eat it," I said in warning, thinking they were hungry. As I turned to try to make my way from the store, I was attacked from behind and I was pushed to the ground.

    "We aren't here for the food," someone whispered into my ear as I felt my hands pulled behind my back. I struggled to get up, but as the woman on my back was light  I was able to easily lift her. Reaching around behind me I grasped her with one hand. Before I could pull her off of me, I was pushed back into the pavement by the extra weight of her friends as they joined in to help her.

    I felt the cold steel of handcuffs as they were locked around my wrists. "Who are you?" I demanded.  I didn't get an answer.  I was abruptly yanked up from the floor to stand; they crowded around. I made an attempt to run, only to find my feet had been bound in much the same manner as my hands.  The difference was that I could move my feet a little, just enough to take small, shuffling steps.
   
    "You will do," said the blonde as she began unbuckling my pants and dropping my zipper. My weapons were quickly taken from me and a knife was produced.  They began to use it to cut through my jacket and shirt rendering this clothing useless.  Both were tossed aside as scraps. It wasn't long before I was completely nude and before all my belongings had been taken from me. I felt a rope being tied around my cock. I noticed my guns were now strapped around the waist of a fierce-looking, dark-haired woman.  She was inspecting her new possessions, smiling. "Come on girls! We have to hurry if we want to get back before the gates are locked!" said the blonde as she smirked.  She then yanked hard on a makeshift leash that she had fastened around my tightly-bound cock.

    It seemed as if the walk to wherever they were taking me took a century. These strange women seemed to take fiendish delight in tormenting me the whole way, slapping me hard on my ass with bamboo canes that they had pulled up from the side of the road after we had left the small abandoned town. Occasionally a cane would flash in front of my face before slapping my cock and sending waves of pain through my groin.  The pain caused me to stop and double over. This didn't help me though, since it only prompted an increased assault on my backside and thighs by the canes, and then a hard yank on my leash.  These just sent a fresh wave of pain through my balls. Then I was forced to stand and begin to move again. Various taunts were tossed in my direction but I wasn't particularly listening; I was more focused on how I might get back to my hidden underground home. The hike was utterly humiliating, and the journey seemed endless; I thought it would never be over. After an excruciatingly long time we finally strolled up to an enormous set of iron doors set into a very tall stone wall where more women (who I guessed to be guards) called down from above before opening the gates to admit us.

    "You're going to be our new maggot."
    "I'm going to make you my new bitch."
    "Move, slave! We don't have all day!"
    "I hope you like eating ass!"

    The taunts continued unceasingly after we entered and as we crossed the courtyard of what appeared to have been a prison, now transformed into a community home. I saw other men outside going about doing various tasks as the women surrounding them lashed them with canes and yelled an unending stream of abusive words designed to make them work faster. Some of the men were tending vegetable gardens.  Some were cleaning livestock.  Yet others walked back and forth toward several small buildings carrying various items for storage in them. I watched for a time until my view was cut short when the small group of women forced me to enter a doorway into the largest of the buildings. I was pulled through a maze of corridors until I was finally brought into what obviously used to be a prison block but which had now had been made into sleeping quarters for the inhabitants. Red drapes and curtains had been hung everywhere.  This gave the enormous area the feel of a sultan's harem.  In the center of these sleeping quarters sat a large throne- and on this throne sat an extraordinarily beautiful woman.

    I studied her as she slipped from the throne upon seeing us enter. She was tall, perhaps even a bit taller than me. Her hair was tied up at the back of her head with just a few stray strands strategically flowing out to the sides. Her skin was tanned, contrasting with her fierce light-blue eyes.  She gazed steadily at me and her hips swayed as she walked in my direction.  I could tell she had a delicious figure under her loose, warm robes. She stopped just inches before me, glaring at me without the slightest fear.

    "Hello.  We have been watching you for a while. You are no longer free. You are owned now.  You are my slave. Do you understand?" she asked me.

    "I'm not a slave. My name is..." I started to say before I was slapped hard enough to knock me to my knees.

    "Your name is 'bitch' from now on and you are a slave. Today you will be claimed." As she said this she held up a leather collar with a heavy lock hanging from it. "Prepare him," she said to the other women.

    I was pulled to one side hard, my cock aching when the tight leash around it was yanked.  I was dragged to a black table where my leash was tied to a steel loop in the floor. I was then was forced to bend over; they strapped to the leather top of the table with what looked like leather belts attached to the table's edges. I felt the canes across various parts of my body, intended to force me into place. A couple of the women applied their canes to the insides of my thighs, stinging them badly until I realized they wanted my legs parted so they could be bound to the legs of the table. I was helpless and unable to move as the dark-haired woman approached me. Obviously she had some kind of authority over the others;  they all obeyed her commands. She had by now removed her garments and she now stood dressed only in two items: a tight red leather corset that left her ample breasts exposed to my view and a large strap-on fastened around her waist. I opened my mouth to protest, only to feel a gag forced between my teeth at that exact moment -- effectively muting me. I watched her until she walked around behind me, out of my field of vision.  Three of her women could still be seen before me.  They removed their clothing and tossed their various garments onto the floor nearby.

    Without warning a series of loud, painful strokes from what felt like a leather back-strap began to fall across my back, my ass, and the backs of my thighs. I screamed in agony into the gag to no avail as they continued to lash me until my skin was red and burning.  I felt as if I had walked through fire. My eyes were wide with fear as one of the women picked up a large roll of duct tape and joined her superior behind me. I first felt my burning ass cheeks pulled wide apart and then I felt tape applied to them, stretching to and fixed on my hips. It was humiliating in the extreme.  I knew my hole was completely exposed to this strange woman who was in command.  I knew what she was going to do. "Mercy..." I tried to say but my word was muffled by the stiff ball in my mouth. The blonde who I had first laid eyes on noticed I was trying to speak and she removed the gag. I was told to repeat what I had said and I did so. "Mercy! Please, let me go!" I said, but this just aroused the women to laughter and more prodding.

    After I made my ineffective plea I felt pressure on my forbidden hole which was quickly stretched open as the strap-on was forced deep into my ass. I grimaced in pain as the woman-in-charge's hips slammed into my already raw and punished ass cheeks, causing the burning to increase. She pulled back and slammed into me again and again and again, beginning a rhythm that she obviously decided she liked.  She continued to fuck me with her toy. One of the women nearby then crawled up to first straddle the table before me and then to present her ass to me.  She grabbed me by the hair, and forced my face between her cheeks. She then uttered a short command.  I obeyed her immediately slipping my tongue up into her tight hole.  I heard her moan in sheer pleasure as my tongue pressed into her ass...

Life In Pineville by Doc

“Louise?  Oh, she’s out with her regular boyfriend!”  Click.

That had ended the chapter called ‘Louise’ in his life.  She’d seemed perfect.   Unattainable.  A model.  His. It had all been an illusion.  She was using him.

Unfortunately, ‘love’ is stupid, and Will didn't realize that half a loaf is better than none.  So he ended up with none.

Will met Cherokee in a topless club right there in Pineville that same week.  He’d poured out his soul to her and she’d been very sympathetic.  Why not?  His pathos sure beat having guys hit on her.  She made sure he had drinks – and paid for hers.  He was basically a nice guy, she thought.

He wasn't about to fall in love again, but --- Cherokee had a nice figure, paid attention to him, stroked his neck and his forearm, and seemed to really feel sorry for his situation.

They made a pair made in Hell.  She found him easy to handle.  He found her attractive.  It was a recipe for bad outcomes.

Eventually she found ways to keep him docile.  He found himself getting sexually excited every time he thought of her.  Like two moths circling a common flame, searching for heat, they began to lose focus.  She began to really like the guy.  He started to find her not only a cute babe, but to see her as a friend.  They seem doomed.

Rescue came from unexpected quarters.   In a small town things happen like that.

Cherokee was at a party when she met Louise and – after a short discussion – they inadvertently discovered they had both been dating the same guy (though at different times).   They began to compare notes.

Not long after, Will ran into Louise’s older sister at Walmart.  (She had a part-time job there).    As things tend to happen, Will looked at her tits, then her butt, and then – his mind took off.  He could see his old girlfriend in her older sister.  He approached her, introduced himself, and then explained the situation.  “Oh, you dated Louise?  Interesting!”   Will suspected ‘older sister’ was trying to fit him into her younger sister’s (complicated) love life.

As it turned out, everything eventually sorted out and everyone lived happily (though only a fool would ever assume ‘forever after’!).

Louise decided to become Cherokee’s lover – without ever telling her about her out-of-town boyfriend.  (She eventually dumped Cherokee to marry him).  Cherokee decided she was tired of being Will’s friend and told him that she’d found someone  else (without mentioning it wasn’t a guy).   She and Louise were lovers until Louise dumped her, just as she had done to Will.

Will kept dating ‘older sister’ (whose name turned out to be Janet).  They eventually married, too.

And so, Will ended up being the brother-in-law of his ex (Louise) and her ‘mystery boyfriend’ – now husband.  Also he could have, but decided never to, tell his brother-in-law that Louise had been two-timing him with a lesbian topless dancer.  As for Cherokee, she eventually married a ‘client’ and talked him into buying a club in town.  She took great delight in seeing both Will and his brother-in-law in the club, and fixing them up with really kinky ‘out-of-town’ girls.

Oh, and Will’s wife (and Louise’s older sister)?  She got tired of Will and seduced Cherokee just for the hell of it.  She eventually got Cherokee to get a divorce and they lived a very placid lesbian life together.

And everyone in Pineville lived happily ever after.  (If you believe that shit, I’d love to introduce you to a very attractive and very sweet lady …. Ha ha ha ha).

Goodbye Mistress by Anonymous

Goodbye my Mistress,
I will go
You said I am released.

but Those few words are not enough,
to say goodbye for me.

I need to first say thank You.
For all the good there was.
All the joy that I will miss.
I'm sure I will be lost.

I would have to count my blessings.
I had the chance to serve.
Someone I loved as much as You
A Mistress I deserved.

Then just as I would say goodbye,
I'd get up off my knees
Turn around and walk away,
With pride for what i'd been.

Anonymous

Wounded, Broken, Doubting by Daxie

I sit alone thinking about the path laid out before me.  It’s a familiar path, seen over and over again like walking lost in a forest, each tree looking exactly like the others.  Have I been here before? Have my choices been all moot points or is this a new path yet to be traveled? The feeling of being alone and lost is not new to me; in fact some would say it is rather familiar and comforting in ways.

Going through the SL life as if it were RL, I put my heart into my actions and relationships.  I used to trust easily and to care about being trusted.  I feel that this has broken over the last few months.  It is something I know I need to fix inside me but I'm unsure how to do it.  I’ve met some wonderful people some of whom I've had the honor to call Domme.  But these wonderful women have also been cause of pain.

I’ve had three SL relationships.  Each of the three have had common threads.  Each lasted around 6 weeks.  All three broke off for reasons out of my control.

I don’t know what is worse, being released when -- from their point of view -- I was a great submissive, or if I actually had been an asshat and that was the reason for my dismissal.   I jokingly said to one of my submissive friends, "Maybe I’m going about this whole SL submission thing all wrong."  And to that she laughed and said “Daxie, there isn't a mean or impolite bone in your body”  To which I then said “Maybe I need to go out on the MP to find one.”

The last two Dommes I’ve had left SL altogether -- partly on my accord.  They said their feelings were of "becoming too attached", and that though we were looking for RL/SL crossover, they found it painful to have to say 'good night'.

What course of action is there for me?  Is there one?  Is it me?

So here I stand alone, again looking down the D/s path wondering.  Is there a point to walking further down this path or will my path be a retread of the same thing? I’m wounded right now, and -- like many wounded animals -- I have a "fight al"l mentality.  I act out in ways I know I shouldn't; many times I feel I can’t stop it.  It does me no good. I know it. Any witnesses, especially those that know me, must think they are watching a different person.  And maybe my past is changing me more than I want to admit.

I am broken, a fixer-upper so to speak. (Luckily I’m cheap, ha ha).  I don’t do well with pity, which is why I keep to myself and do not let others in.  I’ve heard and heard many discussions/ and read many profiles where most Dommes want a sub with something to offer: skills, talents, mental security and confidence. Skills and talents? Well, I’ll let others see and speak on those.  Mental security and confidence? Few and far between.

Doubting, I’m currently highly cautious regards all 'positivity'.  I'm not sure if or when it is genuine or if or when it is just 'common courtesy.'

I write this not looking for kudos, nor for people to say “hang in there, you’ll find one”, etc etc.  This is a confession --my mind -- self-serving and very therapeutic for me.  Even if no one cares, at least I wrote it and sent it.