Sexual Healing by Lady Jericho

my frustration dies there
impaled
torn apart, torn asunder
it dies there, mourned not
in its wake there comes
ragged, tremulous, convulsing breaths
oxygen rich blood saturates my brain
and rage crawls away
while i cry out
let me die again
my anger slain, the life in it leaks out
i am slick with its dying
seeking this oblivion, this suicide
i thrust myself upon your truth
until the hilt of your honesty
plunges deeper still
into the divided self i am
and i am cleaved
one side from the other
my cloak of shame thrown aside
and with it the breaches of distrust
long imbued with disdain
my feet bare
where once malice shod them
and my tunic, criticism held so close to my heart
to the pyre added
my maille, every link forged from a thousand slights so old, so well worn
it clinks out its objections
but i can not hear it
the fire vanquishing my indignity
crackles too loudly and my soul drums
and naked i dance freedom to the flicker of flames and they burn hotter and higher
my ancient weapons consumed
smelt to purity and rarity
the strength of experience
white hot from mace to adornment made
and its purity flashes in the firelight
there on the edges of my transformation
i dance primal and holy, drenched in purpose
and there the phoenix of my laughter comes to life the ash shaken off
to wing, to flight it takes
so relentlessly driven i am
even my demons flee
hurling themselves onto the fire
exhausted and alight
there impaled
i died tonight
and i wonder at it all
how i longed for death
i contemplated every method
until upon your claymore i found my peace
how easily i pressed your weapon
inside of me
and let it suffuse me
intoxicate me
how i abandoned my defenses
to lay down and die
and take your killing thrusts
how with tender strength
and rigid determination
you cleaved me
right from left
and so held, i fell apart
shuddering, crying out
death! death!
kill me again, slay me
so i might live, so i may dance
naked in the firelight
burden free with joy and abandon
my funeral dirge, a soft cry restrained and i sing for you at pyre-side
you conduct me as a symphony
my choir, nerves, so well directed
every member in tune with aching harmony even the drumming to which in dance
my hips give sway in relentless rhythm and my hope builds
with a melody so strong, so sweet dawn long since broke
and the hour early
my anger long dead, bled dry
with all that hatred i adorned myself in
reduced to ash
and that too, with a final shuddering gasp dissipates
naked without the ashes of my fear
i stand
adorned in simple, honest strength
it's glint set out against the dark flush of my skin my hand out stretched
i bid you dance with me
in this life
until the next and there too