For Fawna By Miss Eva

Fawna rolled in to Dominion the way a tidal wave meets the shore, hitting us full on with her humour, sexiness (think of those tight, schoolteacher skirts) and of course her wit and intelligence.  I was impressed by her to say the least, and immediately hoped she'd "stick". This was the kind of woman I wanted at Dominion!  She's our kind of people!  And for a time, she did stick. Fawna was one of our stars, those big personalities who command the courtyard.  She told funny stories and teased us, dazzling the subs (and dommes!) who orbited around her.  She hosted our Confessions event for a few months and even joined us on staff for a time.  But it didn't last and I am not entirely sure why.  I couldn't get close to Fawna. I can't even say we were friends.  I tried but I failed where I know some of you succeeded.  And I'm glad some of you succeeded.  I'm glad she had people here with whom she was close and that she found some friendship and support.  I wish I was among you but it didn't happen between us.  So part of what I feel as I remember Fawna today is regret.  Regret over a missed opportunity. And also a question:  why couldn't we hang on to her?

When someone is as talented and charismatic as Fawna, you wonder how much they are pursued and appreciated for their entertainment value.  I've been told that was a reoccurring issue for Fawna, who had charms and talent in spades.  I wonder, did she feel valued for herself? Or for how she could light up and energize a room or entertain us? Did she only feel appreciated for what she could do for Dominion?  I don't know.  I'll never know.. I can only hope Fawna knew on some level, there was and remains, some sincere affection and love for her here amongst our community.

The other day I watched some of Fawna's audition tapes on Youtube.  I knew this voice and I knew this woman, but I mostly didn't know her at all.  In Second Life, people often disappear and you never see them again. I've actually mourned people who continue perfectly happy and healthy lives, but who have "passed on from SL".  Watching Fawna, or Amy, on Youtube, it hit home that this woman was really gone, and gone everywhere. And I am sorry. I am sorry, sorry, sorry for it. Sorry that this person had only half a life. Sorry I never got to know her more.  And I feel regret that she wandered away from the Dominion.  Not only for our sake, but for hers as well. Because I think we had a lot to offer each other.

I'll end this musing on Fawna Lemon by remembering her stellar performance as Dorothy in our production of The Wizard Of Oz. Yes - she stole the show, a professional amongst enthusiastic amateurs, I don't think she had to try very hard.  I remember praising her after the show and Fawna was so nonchalant about it. I felt like my praise never touched her.  Maybe it was because with her huge talent, she was used to accolades.  Or maybe she was just oblivious to how much I appreciated her. I hope in some small way, she heard and felt that praise, which wasn't simply for her voice or her performance but for her as a person.

I didn't know Fawna, or Amy well.  But anyone could see she was something special.  I regret the missed opportunities. For me, for us, but mostly for her.

Goodbye Fawna. Goodbye Amy.