The Sadness of Releasing a boy - Anonymous Domme

I write this confession trying to find a bit of peace inside of me, hoping that these words and thoughts will abandon my body and I would breathe again.

* I release you* I say while I sit here, watching you, thinking what is going on your mind. You keep talking and saying those words, once and again... but for me all is done.
I feel your hand slipping away from me...

Your eyes, those eyes that once looked at me and made me feel so proud of you, I can't hardly stare at them now.

And my eyes, they should be flooded in tears now... but I don't cry... I keep myself strong and serene, because I am a Domme and these things supossely don't affect us. How wrong you are...
And you say to me that you are shaking and you are crying, and I am still there sitting, keeping my self calm and trying to be logical as a Domme should do... how wrong you are...

And while you keep talking and apologizing. I just want to wake up of this dream and come back to yesterday when you were the most devoted man. What happened with that man? Who are you?

I wish I could feel nothing now. Nothing that you say has sense anymore. My mind becomes numb, be careful what you wish.

I make the last effort before to pronunce my last words* Take your things and leave.* I say cold as a rock. No tears, no hesitating, but how much hurt inside..., I feel the urge to hold you in my arms and say all will go away tomorrow... But is not going to be like that.

I know. The shadow of the doubt would be over us roaming and remembering me this same day.

I turn my eyes to the side losing yours... You take your things and you leave the rose that you put each morning in my breakfast. I see you leaving and I grab the pamlrests of my chair trying to contain my emotions. I press so hard I can feel my nails digging deep on my skin. I close my eyes and I try to breathe deep. Tears run down my face trying to wash away the pain, missing you already.

Days have passed. You are gone now, and with you all our good moments.

You left behind a rose... and the wounds of its thorns.