I Am The Domme Without A Boy - Anonymous

So many things occupy my life, and the desire to change them all to suit me, occupies my mind for days without sleep. Its hard for a woman like me to admit to any struggle for control. Control comes naturally to me. Vanilla ladies call it "showing leadership skills". Some Men call it "bossy". My mother calls it "willfull".

Knowing myself better than that, I am totally unsatisfied with these descriptions. These categories and boxes that everyone I know seem obsessed with stuffing me into smell like death to me.

How does one label themself? A good friend of mine who happens to be a well known Sociology Professor tells me that "People ARE the truths they live by".

Here is what I know to be truth:

"All war is based on deception. Attack where the enemy is unprepared, be where he does not expect you."

-Sun Tzu (The Art of War)

The world is full of lies. Most of us pick our way through life carefully avoiding the confrontation dishonesty brings. Others get caught up in it, believe what they want to, or make up ones of their own to fill the gaps. Half truths or the "White" variety, it makes no difference. Some of us will not rest until we have met each of them head on, and torn them utterly to the ground. I dominate those lies. I am in this box.

"Serenity, is learning to happily participate in the suffering of the world"

-Bhudda

Life is difficult. Anyone who says its not hard to make rent and hold down a job and have a life and try to love is either a certified genius or a few meters short of a full dash. I learned this early. When you become as jaded by the masses as I am you begin to wonder if the world holds any wonder or joy. You begin to doubt your importance and if you will eventually leave the planet without making any lasting contribution. Will the world even know you were here? Probably not. In the grand scheme of the universe, I refuse to be saddened by the fact that I am inconsequential. I dominate that sadness. I am in this box.

"I did it my way"

-Franky

Whose rules do we live by? Gods? Our mothers? Strange how some seem to think they are one in the same. Do I obey rules because I believe in them? The rules that have exception rarely bend the way they need them to, the safety net that should umbrella us all only covers about half. I make my own and apply them when I choose. If they don't work I change them. I am authority, and I hold no respect for it. I am in this box.

"Those ruby slippers look like they pinch like a motherfucker, girl."

-Ru Paul

Beauty will get you far, as far as OZ even. But beauty combined with attitude will get you a contract with M.A.C. cosmetics and your own Bravo T.V. show. A couture closet and a mouth like a sailor. Whiskey bottles tucked neatly away in my Hermes bag. My 13 piercings all hold diamonds. I am in this box.

And here I am, a Domme without a boy. Too busy for someone who needs my time. Too proud to admit I need one too. Unable to explain who I am and what I want. Unsurprised when they shy away, one after the other, back onto the grass. I imagine they must be thinking something like " I don't even KNOW where to begin pleasing THAT woman." And yet I'm happy, mostly satisfied by everything around me. It must be so, for I wouldn't allow it any other way. I am in this box.