I was having one of those days. You know the kind. When questions such as, "Does a submissive exist on FetLife?" fill the mind. Lucky for me, I had time too look.
I searched locally. Four thousand, nine hundred and sixty kinksters, FetLife says. It won't sort by designation so sorting through 294 pages I went. After 18 pages I saw an interesting profile.
Now he had the word 'chattel' in his name, which for any woman at the Dominion, could be a turn off but I persevered. His profile stated, "This is a tall order, but if you don't seek you will never find. Sincere, single gentleman in ~blank~, Ontario is seeking to serve and genuinely submit to a dominant Woman - and just one at that.
The key is compatible personalities and styles. I don't come with a must-do shopping list of needs and wants that I expect you to fulfill. On the contrary, I have to actually submit, and quickly learn what amuses, pleases and truly gratifies a sensual goddess…"
Now I must admit he had me until sensual Goddess.
I did a bit of finger tapping against my lip. Would he be worth the effort to contact?
"Hi, I was going through listings on Fetlife and saw your profile. I am intrigued by your reference to service, mainly because most I encounter here do not have the same idea of it as I do. It seems you might." And on I went describing a bit about me and where I would be locally, in scene, in the near future should he wish to chat.
Within a few hours, I received a reply. He offered some of his experience and tried to further explain his views on D/s. He suggested I read "Uniquely Rika" to get an idea of what he sought. Guess what I am currently reading? Yes, we were on the same wave-length. He also stated he'd be attending the same munch as I, that night.
I paused here. I don't mind meeting others. I am a sociable person. But… there is always a but… I have recently ended a relationship and need some time before plunging into another. What started as a theoretical exercise now involves another person. I thought to myself, "It's just a meet. I don't have to speed along any faster than I wish." I smiled and responded. We traded the 'what do you look like and what are you going to wear?' info.
I arrived at the munch fairly early. Greeted the host and said hi to some friends. I met a few new people with whom I sat as I ordered some pub-style dinner. I scanned the room.
Tall, stocky and silver-haired may have seemed a good description at the time, till you realize most of the people at this munch were middle-aged. I had 7 candidates. The last thing I was going to do, was go around the room asking each one if he was the one who I was to meet. Besides, I wanted to make sure he was serious and I was the only woman wearing a grey turtle-neck sweater in that place. Would he be brave enough to approach?
Hours passed and I enjoyed myself. No word from anyone claiming to be him. I returned home a bit miffed. There was a message on Fetlife.
"I am here"
I messaged him and said I didn't have data on my cell and couldn't have seen that message; that I had been there and couldn't figure out which one he was. After a bit of prodding he revealed he had sort of figured out who I was. He explained where he was sitting and I have a good idea of who he is now.
Did it mean he didn't like what he saw though? His next message gave me his cell number to avoid that problem in future and asked me to try again. I agreed, although to tell you the truth I don't really find him attractive or my type.
We were to meet at 1pm today when I got a notice just after noon hour that he had to cancel. His plans had been advanced to an earlier hour. Could we meet during the week he asked? I thanked him for letting me know and said I'd get back to him.
Was this cold feet? Terminal shyness? Was this an anticipation-more-important-than-reality game? Do I give up? I wasn't going to pursue it further when I got another message. Can we meet tomorrow? So I responded with a time and re-affirmed the location.
I still don't know if there are subs on Fetlife. Third time will be a a charm or a permanent bust. If not, there are only 276 pages more to go through locally. We'll see what happens.
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Little Meeting Dizzee by Lady Little
meeting dizz in sl....
Well, I was hanging around the dominion etc for a while...and was 'single for almost a year' starting to think that there must be something wrong with me, like maybe i should wear more rubber/ leather etc.
Then I was talking to dizzee in and off...and he seemed like a bratty trendy kid..but funny to talk to etc...but i didnt think in a million years he would be interested in me, cos im just not cool enough etc etc...
Anyway, we get talking and turns out he is interested in design...so we share something in common and we began to form a good friendship.
Of course i was holding back until i could get to the point of seeing him on cam, cos i dunnu...it would seem more real then.....so we talked on cam everyday for about 6 months! and got super close friends
then one day dizzee says...he is going to rome for a few days and would i like to join him!...so i am thinking yes this could be like neutral territory to meet...and we agreed that we would meet strictly as friends...just in case we found each other hideous in rl.
so we booked an apartment in rome and met at the airport..i was super nervous and mostly worried about how sweaty my armpits were..and also i was anxious of the fact that i was taller than him lol.
but was good..when we got there we were told that they had to change our apartment...cos of a double booking...and they moved us to one right next to the Trevi fountain!!..
waiting for the girl to come and open the apartment dizz asks me if i want a beer and i am like yeah..and he just scuttles around the corner and comes back 1 min later holding 2 beers lol
after 3 days in rome dizz tells me he is now going to Frascati for his brothers wedding and would i come with him!! and im like wtfa ok...so we get the train and then i am at his brothers wedding with his whole family etc !! and that was that..we have lived together now for almost 2 years...
Well, I was hanging around the dominion etc for a while...and was 'single for almost a year' starting to think that there must be something wrong with me, like maybe i should wear more rubber/ leather etc.
Then I was talking to dizzee in and off...and he seemed like a bratty trendy kid..but funny to talk to etc...but i didnt think in a million years he would be interested in me, cos im just not cool enough etc etc...
Anyway, we get talking and turns out he is interested in design...so we share something in common and we began to form a good friendship.
Of course i was holding back until i could get to the point of seeing him on cam, cos i dunnu...it would seem more real then.....so we talked on cam everyday for about 6 months! and got super close friends
then one day dizzee says...he is going to rome for a few days and would i like to join him!...so i am thinking yes this could be like neutral territory to meet...and we agreed that we would meet strictly as friends...just in case we found each other hideous in rl.
so we booked an apartment in rome and met at the airport..i was super nervous and mostly worried about how sweaty my armpits were..and also i was anxious of the fact that i was taller than him lol.
but was good..when we got there we were told that they had to change our apartment...cos of a double booking...and they moved us to one right next to the Trevi fountain!!..
waiting for the girl to come and open the apartment dizz asks me if i want a beer and i am like yeah..and he just scuttles around the corner and comes back 1 min later holding 2 beers lol
after 3 days in rome dizz tells me he is now going to Frascati for his brothers wedding and would i come with him!! and im like wtfa ok...so we get the train and then i am at his brothers wedding with his whole family etc !! and that was that..we have lived together now for almost 2 years...
Candy's Little Confession
At work in my new job i was asked to deliver a package to a woman up stairs. I walked up all happy and cheerful, said, good morning to her. And she tore strips off me. she verbally humiliated me in front of a room full of her colleagues....abusive - yes. Wrong in the work place - yes. but after my embarrassment subsided it turned me on.
The Bug by Anonymous
To all the beautiful, intelligent, wonderfully obedient, and truly submissive people out there in FemDom land. Thank you for your service, devotion, humor, conviction and confidence in who you are. It is a pleasure -- in multiple ways -- to be around you.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE BUG
You disgust me, you loathsome creature. You pathetic excuse for a submissive. You buzz around in my space, trying so hard to get attention, showing your ass, your insecurities, your lack of manners, and your arrogance, with every piece of shit that falls from your mouth.
You try to sting the Ladies who have rejected you, or to whom you go unnoticed. So threatened by their beauty, wit, playfulness, ferocity, power, and yes, experience.
You hover, looking for an opportunity to dive and bite, thinking you are funny with your belligerent outbursts; or your feigned disinterest in being owned, and dominated by women who are so superior to you.
You are but a foul fly on the wall, regurgitating rhetoric. I would swat you, but the thought of getting close enough to do so repulses me.
Besides... in time... you will be squashed, you will be zapped, you will be exterminated. And knowing this brings me insurmountable pleasure. Bug be gone. Good riddance!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
THE BUG
You disgust me, you loathsome creature. You pathetic excuse for a submissive. You buzz around in my space, trying so hard to get attention, showing your ass, your insecurities, your lack of manners, and your arrogance, with every piece of shit that falls from your mouth.
You try to sting the Ladies who have rejected you, or to whom you go unnoticed. So threatened by their beauty, wit, playfulness, ferocity, power, and yes, experience.
You hover, looking for an opportunity to dive and bite, thinking you are funny with your belligerent outbursts; or your feigned disinterest in being owned, and dominated by women who are so superior to you.
You are but a foul fly on the wall, regurgitating rhetoric. I would swat you, but the thought of getting close enough to do so repulses me.
Besides... in time... you will be squashed, you will be zapped, you will be exterminated. And knowing this brings me insurmountable pleasure. Bug be gone. Good riddance!
How I Didn't Become A Lesbian - Yet! By Lady Clarissa
HOW I DIDN’T BECOME A LESBIAN
It was inevitable that at some point, i would attempt to dive a muff. This happens each time i meet some disappointment with a boy, a sub, a slut, a lover or whatever the style of this representative of male gender is. Though i must confess i have a crush on sluts, but this is another story.
That day, there was no particular event that sparked the change, no it was more a whole bunch of disappointments : the perfect guy who drops you for a football match, the slut only who is interested in covering his own needs and kinks, the seemingly lovely guy who reveals to be the perfect liar or the 24/7 unlucky guy having all the misery of the world trampling on his feet.
That day i thought of all the advantages to be a lesbian : soft skin even in the morning, no more rough stubble, someone enjoying shopping and fashion, someone who wouldn’t ask the size if sent doing the shopping, someone who would better understand me, be reliable. Yes, that’s it : reliable.
On top of that, i was just back from visiting my gay friends. They all seemed hot, soft and oversexed. Their life was like Desperate Housewives before despair started. I wanted in. Shortly after my trip, they invited me for a trheesome. The idea of buying a ticket just for an orgy sounded weird. The idea of seeing their pussy was even more weird and them seeing mine was on top of my list of « not to do things » for this year. If the orgy had happened, it would have fast become one of their best stories « Hey, remember the night we had a threesome with your weird friend ? »
« of course, that was the worst sexual experience i have ever had ».
I decided to visit a gay & lesbian place and see what was going on there. Actually, i found a nice place, doing some gay&lesbian parties but not exclusively gay. To get in the mood i had two shots of tequila to start with.
There was a party going on and some nice girls were there. I found my target : a cute brunette, Elora Blackdrop in an outfit i would have loved to borow sometime. She looked over at me. I look that as a sign of mutual attraction but it was probably because i was drunk and giving her accidental fuck me eyes. I wanted and i didn’t want at the same time. Finally, i decided to im her and say something like « hello you’re cute . She said « thanks » and Instead of inviting her for a dance, i said back « Friend me so that we can meet again ».
I got a notecard from the group of the sim, advertising for the « special straight party » still going on. Damned, that girl wasn’t lesbian. My bad… But shed im’ed me back, that was quite surprising. I took a look at her profile : « real guy loving cross dressing in SL. Good slut, good fuck ». Gosh. I had been mistaking, that was really not the good target ! I de-friended « her » so to say and tp’ed out to Bondage Ranch.
I had one of these great moments of self intropsection in a zen environment.
I was thinking of all this, quietly sitting there (as everyone knows Bondage RAnch is the best place for medidation) when i noticed two « dommes » fighting for a sub, insulting each other, gripping and pulling hair, beating each other harshly. Waooo. What did i say… reliable ? ermm maybe i should re-consider my position. Nah, this is just because i’m at the wrong place, the bitch ranch.
I should change and visit the very true Realm of bitches ; this is how i landed at the D.
Unfortunately there were only male subs there. So i had a closer a look at the Dommes. Afterall, why not ?
I first came to the point when i have this serious conversation about guys, with a sister in arms, which amounts to nothing more than:
« Guys smell, I’m gonna be a lesbian ». Panther, Lauren and Zarita approved silently.
Immediately some kind staff members asked « how may i help you ?». But i wasn’t that brave in that moment and i pretended being afk for a while and having missed the proposal, typing a « back » in local chat after few more minutes.
So yeah, I’ve decided I should give this whole lesbian thing a go. I’ve heard many talk about it, but who actually TRIED it?
I need a plan. A good one.
1/ MEET SOMEONE :
I’m still unsure i’m bi and the only girsl i’m into are pretty girly girls. The ones in the shampoo commercials with the long glossy manes, who i’m envious of. But the only girls i see on the street that i think are gay, are the ones in tank tops with tatoos and short hair. That’s embarrassing.
–
2. GET A DATE
I’m a girl, she’s a girl, so exchange numbers and ask her out, already! Think positive: SHE WILL SAY YES.
Don’t expect to get that funny butterfly feeling you get when a boy sends you hot submissive texts, though. Push past that and don’t give up. Boys, Pff. Who needs them.
So i get a date, go out for a drink with her, talk as we’re future best friends and i take her back home. Yes, i can do this. And make love to her. It will be amazing. I can run my fingers through her hair ; you know the long hair from the shampoo commercial. Her skin is super soft and she’s all giggly one second and sexy smoldery-eyed the next.
Maybe I could think about a third, more masculine party while I’m doing it? Sometimes the top setting on the vibrator isn’t enough or the plastic is all cold, or I could hate the feeling of her puny little girl fingers inside my vagina. Wouldn’t this be a lot easier if I would just do it with a guy ?
Nah ! guy smell, who need them ?
I said that outloud. I didn’t realise. But everyone there at the court yard heard me that is for sure.
Zarita said « i can teach you how to be a lesbian »
Lauren laughed and Panther asked « i wonder who would be on top »
Zarita replied « me of course » while i was saying at the same time « i would let her believe she is ».
I always had a kinda roos fetish, due to Skippy who was my hero, so i have set my muff ermm i mean my heart on Z. But Z was more interested in getting confessions than in converting me. « Clar, would you write a little something for this week confession, pleaaaaaaaase »
Before leaving Zarita added « I LOVE YOU CLARISSA>> you can have the first LESBIAN lesson free! »
[15:59] ℒauren ℳordly (lauren.mordly): Ill try Z for you some short little thingy [16:00] Zarita (zarita.shan): I love you too Lauren. you get a free ticket to the Lesbian ORGY with me and Clar
‘This is how i ended, writing something about my first attempt to be a lesbian for Confessions.
Now i want my lesson.
It was inevitable that at some point, i would attempt to dive a muff. This happens each time i meet some disappointment with a boy, a sub, a slut, a lover or whatever the style of this representative of male gender is. Though i must confess i have a crush on sluts, but this is another story.
That day, there was no particular event that sparked the change, no it was more a whole bunch of disappointments : the perfect guy who drops you for a football match, the slut only who is interested in covering his own needs and kinks, the seemingly lovely guy who reveals to be the perfect liar or the 24/7 unlucky guy having all the misery of the world trampling on his feet.
That day i thought of all the advantages to be a lesbian : soft skin even in the morning, no more rough stubble, someone enjoying shopping and fashion, someone who wouldn’t ask the size if sent doing the shopping, someone who would better understand me, be reliable. Yes, that’s it : reliable.
On top of that, i was just back from visiting my gay friends. They all seemed hot, soft and oversexed. Their life was like Desperate Housewives before despair started. I wanted in. Shortly after my trip, they invited me for a trheesome. The idea of buying a ticket just for an orgy sounded weird. The idea of seeing their pussy was even more weird and them seeing mine was on top of my list of « not to do things » for this year. If the orgy had happened, it would have fast become one of their best stories « Hey, remember the night we had a threesome with your weird friend ? »
« of course, that was the worst sexual experience i have ever had ».
I decided to visit a gay & lesbian place and see what was going on there. Actually, i found a nice place, doing some gay&lesbian parties but not exclusively gay. To get in the mood i had two shots of tequila to start with.
There was a party going on and some nice girls were there. I found my target : a cute brunette, Elora Blackdrop in an outfit i would have loved to borow sometime. She looked over at me. I look that as a sign of mutual attraction but it was probably because i was drunk and giving her accidental fuck me eyes. I wanted and i didn’t want at the same time. Finally, i decided to im her and say something like « hello you’re cute . She said « thanks » and Instead of inviting her for a dance, i said back « Friend me so that we can meet again ».
I got a notecard from the group of the sim, advertising for the « special straight party » still going on. Damned, that girl wasn’t lesbian. My bad… But shed im’ed me back, that was quite surprising. I took a look at her profile : « real guy loving cross dressing in SL. Good slut, good fuck ». Gosh. I had been mistaking, that was really not the good target ! I de-friended « her » so to say and tp’ed out to Bondage Ranch.
I had one of these great moments of self intropsection in a zen environment.
I was thinking of all this, quietly sitting there (as everyone knows Bondage RAnch is the best place for medidation) when i noticed two « dommes » fighting for a sub, insulting each other, gripping and pulling hair, beating each other harshly. Waooo. What did i say… reliable ? ermm maybe i should re-consider my position. Nah, this is just because i’m at the wrong place, the bitch ranch.
I should change and visit the very true Realm of bitches ; this is how i landed at the D.
Unfortunately there were only male subs there. So i had a closer a look at the Dommes. Afterall, why not ?
I first came to the point when i have this serious conversation about guys, with a sister in arms, which amounts to nothing more than:
« Guys smell, I’m gonna be a lesbian ». Panther, Lauren and Zarita approved silently.
Immediately some kind staff members asked « how may i help you ?». But i wasn’t that brave in that moment and i pretended being afk for a while and having missed the proposal, typing a « back » in local chat after few more minutes.
So yeah, I’ve decided I should give this whole lesbian thing a go. I’ve heard many talk about it, but who actually TRIED it?
I need a plan. A good one.
1/ MEET SOMEONE :
I’m still unsure i’m bi and the only girsl i’m into are pretty girly girls. The ones in the shampoo commercials with the long glossy manes, who i’m envious of. But the only girls i see on the street that i think are gay, are the ones in tank tops with tatoos and short hair. That’s embarrassing.
–
2. GET A DATE
I’m a girl, she’s a girl, so exchange numbers and ask her out, already! Think positive: SHE WILL SAY YES.
Don’t expect to get that funny butterfly feeling you get when a boy sends you hot submissive texts, though. Push past that and don’t give up. Boys, Pff. Who needs them.
So i get a date, go out for a drink with her, talk as we’re future best friends and i take her back home. Yes, i can do this. And make love to her. It will be amazing. I can run my fingers through her hair ; you know the long hair from the shampoo commercial. Her skin is super soft and she’s all giggly one second and sexy smoldery-eyed the next.
Maybe I could think about a third, more masculine party while I’m doing it? Sometimes the top setting on the vibrator isn’t enough or the plastic is all cold, or I could hate the feeling of her puny little girl fingers inside my vagina. Wouldn’t this be a lot easier if I would just do it with a guy ?
Nah ! guy smell, who need them ?
I said that outloud. I didn’t realise. But everyone there at the court yard heard me that is for sure.
Zarita said « i can teach you how to be a lesbian »
Lauren laughed and Panther asked « i wonder who would be on top »
Zarita replied « me of course » while i was saying at the same time « i would let her believe she is ».
I always had a kinda roos fetish, due to Skippy who was my hero, so i have set my muff ermm i mean my heart on Z. But Z was more interested in getting confessions than in converting me. « Clar, would you write a little something for this week confession, pleaaaaaaaase »
Before leaving Zarita added « I LOVE YOU CLARISSA>> you can have the first LESBIAN lesson free! »
[15:59] ℒauren ℳordly (lauren.mordly): Ill try Z for you some short little thingy [16:00] Zarita (zarita.shan): I love you too Lauren. you get a free ticket to the Lesbian ORGY with me and Clar
‘This is how i ended, writing something about my first attempt to be a lesbian for Confessions.
Now i want my lesson.
Friday Night Part 7 by Anonymous
Friday Night
part seven
He looked over at his mistress, not obviously, He shot her a sidelong glance. He didn't want to make eye contact. She was tapping one finger on her desk. Tap tap. Over and over, she tapped her finger nail against the hard wood.
She rarely wore nail polish so he didn't have to worry that she'd damage her manicure.
He made a note to check his manicure kit for cuticle oil. The skin on her hands seemed dry. He added extra-strength healing hand lotion to his mental shopping list.
She sighed.
Aside from the clock ticking and the nail tapping, the room had been silent for hours.
He bent his head back down to stare at the screen of his laptop. He was sprawled on the couch. She was upright at her desk.
The short winter afternoon passed slowly, in silence.
Finally he could stand it no longer. He stood up. Closed the laptop. Set it aside. Tucked his long-sleeved crisp white dress shirt into his tight black trousers and moved to her side.
He knelt down very close to her knee.
"Would you like some tea, Mistress?" he asked.
She shook her head.
"Not now, pet," she replied.
He continued to kneel by her side.
Another thirty minutes passed. He thought he had counted every tick of the clock. His knees ached. His back strained in the stiff upright posture he had assumed.
Did she not realize he was waiting for her instruction?
Was she unaware that it was getting late? The sun was setting. He didn't want to make any preparation for their Friday night play party, unless she told him they would be going. He knew she didn't like to be rushed, refused to make any last minute dashes to the car. But it was getting late. Too late. Did she mean to stay home?
Why did she say nothing? Why was she ignoring him? What had he done to deserve this?
"It's not about you" she would say sometimes, when he fussed.
"Is this about me" he thought.
"No. It's not about me. It's about getting her ready and making sure she's got everything she needs, fluffing her up and getting her into the car, driving her over smoothly." Sometimes, he said to her as they rode in the car, "I like to think of you as a precious egg, that I must walk all the way carrying in my hand, so that you arrive in perfect condition."
Whenever he said that, she would sigh, look at him with disdain and wave her hand in his face. "Whatever" she'd murmur.
He knew that .. she knew.... he loved the wave of dismissal, his efforts seemingly unappreciated.
At last, he could not hold back his question.
"Mistress, should I prepare your toy bag? Everything is clean and fresh inside, but I would like to buff up the leather a bit, if we're going this evening."
She looked down at him. She smiled. She glanced at the clock.
"6:00 o'clock" she said very quietly.
"Not bad" she said. "With the exception of the tea offer, you lasted four hours and 35 minutes under the silent treatment."
"Oh it's sad." "You were so close until you blew it with the tea offer." she added.
He blinked. "The silent treatment?"
He never heard her use the phrase.
"What game is she playing?" he wondered
"I told you at 1:25 this afternoon, 'Don't bother me. I am busy thinking.' You offered me tea at 5:30 and now of course the question about the toy bag at 6 o'clock. Well, not bad, but not good either. You will pay for this tonight. How many lashes of the single tail do you think this merits?"
He looked at her in astonishment. He had no idea what to say.
Finally, he answered, "As many as you wish, Mistress."
He hated even one lash. He wanted to say, "No lashes,Mistress, because you didn't explain this was a game or a task".
But he realized she'd given him a command, a straight forward one. "Don't bother me." she'd said.
He bowed his head.
"Go buff up the bag now, we're going to be late."
She ran her hand through her long red hair and smiled to herself.
part seven
He looked over at his mistress, not obviously, He shot her a sidelong glance. He didn't want to make eye contact. She was tapping one finger on her desk. Tap tap. Over and over, she tapped her finger nail against the hard wood.
She rarely wore nail polish so he didn't have to worry that she'd damage her manicure.
He made a note to check his manicure kit for cuticle oil. The skin on her hands seemed dry. He added extra-strength healing hand lotion to his mental shopping list.
She sighed.
Aside from the clock ticking and the nail tapping, the room had been silent for hours.
He bent his head back down to stare at the screen of his laptop. He was sprawled on the couch. She was upright at her desk.
The short winter afternoon passed slowly, in silence.
Finally he could stand it no longer. He stood up. Closed the laptop. Set it aside. Tucked his long-sleeved crisp white dress shirt into his tight black trousers and moved to her side.
He knelt down very close to her knee.
"Would you like some tea, Mistress?" he asked.
She shook her head.
"Not now, pet," she replied.
He continued to kneel by her side.
Another thirty minutes passed. He thought he had counted every tick of the clock. His knees ached. His back strained in the stiff upright posture he had assumed.
Did she not realize he was waiting for her instruction?
Was she unaware that it was getting late? The sun was setting. He didn't want to make any preparation for their Friday night play party, unless she told him they would be going. He knew she didn't like to be rushed, refused to make any last minute dashes to the car. But it was getting late. Too late. Did she mean to stay home?
Why did she say nothing? Why was she ignoring him? What had he done to deserve this?
"It's not about you" she would say sometimes, when he fussed.
"Is this about me" he thought.
"No. It's not about me. It's about getting her ready and making sure she's got everything she needs, fluffing her up and getting her into the car, driving her over smoothly." Sometimes, he said to her as they rode in the car, "I like to think of you as a precious egg, that I must walk all the way carrying in my hand, so that you arrive in perfect condition."
Whenever he said that, she would sigh, look at him with disdain and wave her hand in his face. "Whatever" she'd murmur.
He knew that .. she knew.... he loved the wave of dismissal, his efforts seemingly unappreciated.
At last, he could not hold back his question.
"Mistress, should I prepare your toy bag? Everything is clean and fresh inside, but I would like to buff up the leather a bit, if we're going this evening."
She looked down at him. She smiled. She glanced at the clock.
"6:00 o'clock" she said very quietly.
"Not bad" she said. "With the exception of the tea offer, you lasted four hours and 35 minutes under the silent treatment."
"Oh it's sad." "You were so close until you blew it with the tea offer." she added.
He blinked. "The silent treatment?"
He never heard her use the phrase.
"What game is she playing?" he wondered
"I told you at 1:25 this afternoon, 'Don't bother me. I am busy thinking.' You offered me tea at 5:30 and now of course the question about the toy bag at 6 o'clock. Well, not bad, but not good either. You will pay for this tonight. How many lashes of the single tail do you think this merits?"
He looked at her in astonishment. He had no idea what to say.
Finally, he answered, "As many as you wish, Mistress."
He hated even one lash. He wanted to say, "No lashes,Mistress, because you didn't explain this was a game or a task".
But he realized she'd given him a command, a straight forward one. "Don't bother me." she'd said.
He bowed his head.
"Go buff up the bag now, we're going to be late."
She ran her hand through her long red hair and smiled to herself.
A Boy's Return by Tomas
A BOY’S RETURN
“I can be harsh”, the Lady said, a note of warning conveyed in every word.
“So What?”, my brain said, with the wisdom of a moth flying full speed to a forest fire’s light.
But then, that was all the wisdom that I had.
One year earlier, barely a day after Christmas, 22 years of my life with my wife, my soulmate, and the only woman I had ever really loved had vanished in a single horrible night.
With it, I had lost every dream, desire, ambition, goal and purpose that I had known in my adult life. Only the evolution-inspired desire of humans to continue living had kept the flicker of life lit and, once I realized that, it too had little power over me.
There was no purpose.
There was no joy.
There was no other woman in my life, and I was certain there never would be.
I wandered among men, knowing relationships there would be different. And they were. But the wear and tear of life, not to count the nearly six decades of age, had left me largely alone in that life too. White parties had given way to far too many white hairs.
Places of joy evoked little but wistful memories.
And then an odd thing happened.
I read.
I read articles and books and websites and passed time with a good moment here, an ok moment there, and many others in between.
And in a soppy romance about gay leathermen, a fictional psychologist discussed a fictional boy and agreed that the source of the boy’s unhappiness was that he was a sub with no one to serve, no orders to obey, no purpose – and I knew the boy was me.
In the flash of a light, I also knew a place that required nothing but knees and the courtesy that every woman deserves every day and everywhere – Dominion.
I had been there years before. It had been good and restorative and enabled a return of joy to my life, to my wife, and to my family after years of dealing with the love of my life, and my life itself, being injured by the cruelties of her progressive illness, her pain, and the modern medical nightmares inflicted on her. She had known, and approved, and we had survived the recession and then planned to rebuild, until the night of tears.
This time, I thought, Dominion might at least let me be me, if only for a while.
I would go. I would kneel. I would greet. And in the time between, I would have a few moments to feel like me, a sub, but a sub with orders – kneel and greet – and to obey. I knew this wasn’t the focus there – I wasn’t there to serve the ladies. Indeed, I was being selfish. But hey, I’m a guy. What is new about a guy being selfish when dealing with women?
I decided simply to be honest. I wouldn’t need an owner, just time in the courtyard. I wouldn’t need to speak, just to greet. I could do that, and maybe only that. If asked, I would tell the truth, and then I likely would be left alone. My life might be short, but at least I could be me until the end.
So I came.
And she spoke.
And I told my story.
But she didn’t leave.
And I screwed up.
And she responded.
Was she harsh? Maybe, a little. “So What”, said my brain.
And the moth flew faster.
But it wasn’t a forest fire. It was the light of a Goddess. She was nurturing, and caring and dominant all at the same time.
Christmas came and left, and I was still here.
Purpose came back.
Joy returned.
And life is on the road again. Where it goes, I don’t know, and I don’t care. Life is in the journey, and I have work to do.
Yet, this is Confessions, not therapy. I confess. Ich gestehe. J’avoue. Watashi wa kokuhaku suru. Wǒ chéngrèn. I came here with intentions other than to serve the good ladies. I was selfish. I apologize.
It also is a time to say thank you. Thank you to Miss Eva for maintaining this place of safety and courtesy and service. I cannot express the good you have done, not just for me but for other men I have known here as well. It must have been difficult at times over the years. But you have done a good thing.
Thank You to the Ladies of the Staff for carrying out the vision.
“I can be harsh”, the Lady said, a note of warning conveyed in every word.
“So What?”, my brain said, with the wisdom of a moth flying full speed to a forest fire’s light.
But then, that was all the wisdom that I had.
One year earlier, barely a day after Christmas, 22 years of my life with my wife, my soulmate, and the only woman I had ever really loved had vanished in a single horrible night.
With it, I had lost every dream, desire, ambition, goal and purpose that I had known in my adult life. Only the evolution-inspired desire of humans to continue living had kept the flicker of life lit and, once I realized that, it too had little power over me.
There was no purpose.
There was no joy.
There was no other woman in my life, and I was certain there never would be.
I wandered among men, knowing relationships there would be different. And they were. But the wear and tear of life, not to count the nearly six decades of age, had left me largely alone in that life too. White parties had given way to far too many white hairs.
Places of joy evoked little but wistful memories.
And then an odd thing happened.
I read.
I read articles and books and websites and passed time with a good moment here, an ok moment there, and many others in between.
And in a soppy romance about gay leathermen, a fictional psychologist discussed a fictional boy and agreed that the source of the boy’s unhappiness was that he was a sub with no one to serve, no orders to obey, no purpose – and I knew the boy was me.
In the flash of a light, I also knew a place that required nothing but knees and the courtesy that every woman deserves every day and everywhere – Dominion.
I had been there years before. It had been good and restorative and enabled a return of joy to my life, to my wife, and to my family after years of dealing with the love of my life, and my life itself, being injured by the cruelties of her progressive illness, her pain, and the modern medical nightmares inflicted on her. She had known, and approved, and we had survived the recession and then planned to rebuild, until the night of tears.
This time, I thought, Dominion might at least let me be me, if only for a while.
I would go. I would kneel. I would greet. And in the time between, I would have a few moments to feel like me, a sub, but a sub with orders – kneel and greet – and to obey. I knew this wasn’t the focus there – I wasn’t there to serve the ladies. Indeed, I was being selfish. But hey, I’m a guy. What is new about a guy being selfish when dealing with women?
I decided simply to be honest. I wouldn’t need an owner, just time in the courtyard. I wouldn’t need to speak, just to greet. I could do that, and maybe only that. If asked, I would tell the truth, and then I likely would be left alone. My life might be short, but at least I could be me until the end.
So I came.
And she spoke.
And I told my story.
But she didn’t leave.
And I screwed up.
And she responded.
Was she harsh? Maybe, a little. “So What”, said my brain.
And the moth flew faster.
But it wasn’t a forest fire. It was the light of a Goddess. She was nurturing, and caring and dominant all at the same time.
Christmas came and left, and I was still here.
Purpose came back.
Joy returned.
And life is on the road again. Where it goes, I don’t know, and I don’t care. Life is in the journey, and I have work to do.
Yet, this is Confessions, not therapy. I confess. Ich gestehe. J’avoue. Watashi wa kokuhaku suru. Wǒ chéngrèn. I came here with intentions other than to serve the good ladies. I was selfish. I apologize.
It also is a time to say thank you. Thank you to Miss Eva for maintaining this place of safety and courtesy and service. I cannot express the good you have done, not just for me but for other men I have known here as well. It must have been difficult at times over the years. But you have done a good thing.
Thank You to the Ladies of the Staff for carrying out the vision.
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