Submitted by Tehgan Vaher
"Mmmmmm" she purrs in soft cat-like moans. Her breath a mix of a whisper and growl, dripping with lust from the heightened pleasure she's taking from him. Her eyes dance over the body under her. Nipples pinched and erect, deepen in colour as they shiver to life as the hot, electric wind washes over him. How lovely his face contorts in a mask twisted from the pain of pleasure bleeding into the pleasure of pain.
A sudden flash lights the indigo-painted sky and she shudders in a fearful spasm of recognition quickly followed by the feeling of fullness as his cock digs deeper into her. The deafening cascade of rolling thunder brings her out of the revelry she's been enjoying: riding the strong stallion beneath her and cussing loudly as she feels the fright ripple through her like a pebble disrupting the glassy solitude of a forgotten pond.
He flinches and stops the eb and flow of his hips rising and rolling to gently stroke the inside of the velvety soft, sucking walls of her sex. With a strike as sudden and forceful as the thunder caps echoing along the path of illuminated streaks the lightening scars the sky with - her hand finds his cheek. A pain-filled yelp breaks the silence hanging between them and she brings the other hand down to mark the other cheek. "Thank you, Mistress." was all he needed to say and all that was necessary, but filled with the very essence of his submission to her dominance and she squeezes her thighs against him bringing his rhythm back - a simple gesture letting him know his words have more meaning then most will ever fathom or begin to understand.
Another jagged bolt dances across the blackness above like a lovers tongue torturing it's conquest with it's sizzling touch. Her body casts shadows down onto his body, now covered with a light film of sweat ... glinting from the quick flashes seeming like the facets of a diamond when you hold it, twisting it to enjoy the mystical fire burning within it's core. She can see the lust in his eyes, burning deep from the pleasure her body evokes from it as she gently slides herself up and down the steel-like shaft poised tall and proud for her.
A series of deafening claps shakes the ground beneath them with their raw power. One after one they turn the night into a false sense of daylight and she can see the terror in his eyes. She slams her aching cunt down to swallow the full length of his meat, the power of the storm feeding the primal urges she has to rut with him as two wild beasts in the hight of mating season. There is no love here ... just pure bestial lust and need. The single emotional connection of using each other's bodies as the focus of as much pleasure she can ween from him as she can. He grunts and moans freely, just as she likes her fuck meat ... wanton and whorishly letting her know he relishes in the harsh and unyielding pleasure she steals from him.
With every flash of lightening and rumble of thunder born of it's assault she takes him harder and faster ... deeper and deeper ... bouncing her body down onto his as she impales him with her craving sex. Her arms curl above hear head as her face turns towards the heavens above, offering it her passions in thankful homage for the beast beneath her. The sway of her heavy breasts entice him and he wants to reach for them, squeeze and sample them - but he knows better and grips the ground at his rocking hips to fight off the sweet temptation.
Suddenly her body shudders and as if on queue the sky is scorched with a branching whip of lightning and the rain washes over them to mix with the musky cream her pussy explodes onto him. He has to be careful, the powerful sucking and flexing of her tight cunt always takes him the brink if his own eruption, and he's learned the hard way to never lose focus unless he's been gifted the sweet release. Her hands roam over the beautiful flesh of the woman who owns him ... the hips that are soft and round - perfect to hold onto when permitted. The heavy, fullness of her breasts with it's perfect nubs of suckable flesh for nipples and it's halo of deep pink always so soft against his lips when he's permitted to suckle. The tuft of dark hair tainting the sacred yawning of her thighs as they wrap around him ... giving way to a teasing peep show of the most perfect pink lips as they stretch around his thick, hard shaft. How he fucking loves her, this woman of torturous treats and devious delights.
She looks down to him, hair dripping rivers of wet paths as it's plastered to her cheeks and chest from the pouring rain. Her lips curl into a smile -- that smile. The one reserved for him when she's pleased with him. The one which always makes time stand still and his heart to race so hard he feels it will explode within him. He smiles back to her, his cock slowly softening as she perches atop him, "Thank you, Mistress. You were beautiful as always."
She curls down and sucks his lips into a tender kiss as her finger finds her sex. She moans into his mouth breathlessly the words he loves to hear "You were perfect, my strong stallion." and treats him to her nectar. Satisfied with his show of adoration, she watches his face soften and almost radiate as his tongue curls around her finger to drink of it what she offers - the precious jewel of her soul. Her fingers finds him and massages his scalp momentarily before they entangle themselves into the dark locks and he's pulled from her.
She braces herself against his forehead and uses him to steady her shaking legs as she stands, wrapping the blanket around her in a vain attempt of staying dry from the downpour. "Pack this up and meet me at the car.", she simply states and walks towards the town car at the side of the road. The long grass slaps wetly against her naked thighs as she plows a path through them. The earth smells alive and reborn ... thick sulfuric scent of electricity left from the storm mixing with the sweet smell of the wet dirt. She smiles to herself, spent and satisfied as she slips into the back seat to sprawl out and get comfortable in the luxury sedan.
He hefts easily into the drivers seat and turns the heater on to warm the car so she doesn't catch a draft and watches her gaze out the window at the storm's death. Space between flashes more and more and the rumblings are farther off in the distance and he wonders if she will still be afraid of the lightening.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Why is Tiny called Tiny
Submitted by Tiny Merryman
Tiny... why tiny?
I get asked this a lot.
Well its not that simple and its not tiny 'bits' either.
It comes from a deep D/s feeling. The feeling of being wanted, important, controlled and wanting to please etc. plus being part of Her personal possessions.
I love the power exchange.. always wanting the power back again but being denied that basic feeling.. I think that's why bondage has a powerful effect in D/s; if you didn't wasn't the power back... why be tied?
I have been taught from birth, always to respect females. I have two older sisters and respecting them wasn't a bad move.. they were bigger than me for a start!
So why 'tiny' well it comes from a life long fear, fetish/fantasy which ever you want to call it... a life long fear of being tied, gagged and kept in my Mistress's leather handbag. Go with Her where ever She goes... being with Her and being part of Her personal items. The thought of this type of D/s power exchange for me is immense. Being in there, or even dropped in another's handbag as a punishment, has immense 'loss of power feelings' and cant do anything about it... captured!
The smell of being in the leather handbag, Her perfume and Her personal items is far more powerful thoughts than a hung metal cage... But that's me.
Its not a Giantess fetish.. the size is not important... its the thought... the D/s feelings. I has its good points to. I can go food shopping or in crowded places and come back having trouble walking..lol so horny, seeing those bags and wondering. As its an impossible, can never happen, situation. The feeling will be with me all my life. I have know people who have experienced their fantasy/fetish because it was possible and it wasn't what they felt it would be like at all and have been left with empty feelings.
I love my fear, it harmless yet so strong. My research tells me it all comes from childhood. I remember it effecting me from the age of six... so what did my elder sisters get up to?
Well wishes
tiny
Tiny... why tiny?
I get asked this a lot.
Well its not that simple and its not tiny 'bits' either.
It comes from a deep D/s feeling. The feeling of being wanted, important, controlled and wanting to please etc. plus being part of Her personal possessions.
I love the power exchange.. always wanting the power back again but being denied that basic feeling.. I think that's why bondage has a powerful effect in D/s; if you didn't wasn't the power back... why be tied?
I have been taught from birth, always to respect females. I have two older sisters and respecting them wasn't a bad move.. they were bigger than me for a start!
So why 'tiny' well it comes from a life long fear, fetish/fantasy which ever you want to call it... a life long fear of being tied, gagged and kept in my Mistress's leather handbag. Go with Her where ever She goes... being with Her and being part of Her personal items. The thought of this type of D/s power exchange for me is immense. Being in there, or even dropped in another's handbag as a punishment, has immense 'loss of power feelings' and cant do anything about it... captured!
The smell of being in the leather handbag, Her perfume and Her personal items is far more powerful thoughts than a hung metal cage... But that's me.
Its not a Giantess fetish.. the size is not important... its the thought... the D/s feelings. I has its good points to. I can go food shopping or in crowded places and come back having trouble walking..lol so horny, seeing those bags and wondering. As its an impossible, can never happen, situation. The feeling will be with me all my life. I have know people who have experienced their fantasy/fetish because it was possible and it wasn't what they felt it would be like at all and have been left with empty feelings.
I love my fear, it harmless yet so strong. My research tells me it all comes from childhood. I remember it effecting me from the age of six... so what did my elder sisters get up to?
Well wishes
tiny
Denied
Submitted by Heather Steampunk
My Mistress had been out with friends and I was surprised when the phone rang. "Hello my Mistress." I answered as my heart started beating a little faster. I closed my eyes as I heard her soft soothing voice whispering in my ear "Hello My girl." She sounded like She was out of breath, it took me a few seconds to realize what was going on, but the soft moan that took control over my own body was very clear. "My girl, tell me a fantasy, now." I leaned back into my chair and thought about a fantasy to tell Her, to satisfy Her, to make Her happy. "Heather.." It was almost a whimper, and it startled me. "Heather.. " she said again, "Tell me a fantasy, a real one, don't make it up, tell me your fantasy, now."
I clear my throat and slowly start to speak. “In my fantasy my Mistress, You are watching me while I masturbate.” I can hear Her chuckle, “Very nice little one, tell me what happens.” I heard noise coming from the other end of the line, but decided not to ask Her what it was. I continue with my story and once again close my eyes to concentrate better. “I am lying down on bed and You are sitting across from me, in a big comfy chair. You put a blindfold over my eyes and have already told me to touch myself, so I am. My hands are stroking my skin and knowing that You are sitting across from me, watching me, makes me incredible wet.” I hear little sounds of approval coming from the back of Her throat as I continue. “In my mind I am not thinking about You watching me, but thoughts about Your soft skin, Your soft lips, Your touch on my skin run through my head. My hands run further down my skin, over my chest to my breasts and I pinch my nipples, making them hard, wishing it was Your touch that hardened them.” She whispers in my ear, “Touch yourself My girl.” I waste no time, I need the release, I need to feel Her close. My hand slips down my sweatpants and I run a finger through my already wet folds. I softly moan, and feel embarrassed. I have never done this for her before. We have never done this before. My finger teases my clit but soon finds a steady rhythm and I can already feel the tension building in my body. “Good girl, now continue your fantasy.” I hear a soft buzzing coming from the other end of the phone and I gasp. “Now, Heather, don’t make me wait.” So I continue telling her about my fantasy. “I reach for the vibrator that lies next to me and I turn it on. My cheeks are red hot as You watch me moving the vibrator more down and eventually slip it inside of me. I think about You sitting there, running Your own fingers over Your skin, slowly down Your belly and then between the wet silk folds between Your legs. I think about Your fingers brushing the tight bundle of nerves as You softly stroke it.” “That’s it My girl, are you getting closer, don’t even dare to come without my permission.” My breathing is faster and it gets harder to concentrate on the fantasy, I can hear Her softly moaning and I hear the buzzing getting louder. “Go on Heather, I told You, don’t make me wait.” Your hands are slowly moving further down and I let the vibrator slip out of me and tease my clit with it, the moment Your fingers dip inside of You. As Your fingers slide in and out of the hot, wet, velvet tunnel, my own tension builds.” And it does, my tension is building, I am on the edge of coming, but I know, I can’t, not until She tells me to.
“I spread my own legs wider and the vibrator is now on full speed, the muscles in my leg tensing and my body is shaking. In my fantasy You are very close as well, Your fingers are moving faster and faster, as Your other hand rubs Your clit. Watching You like that, knowing You are watching me as well, makes me so wet, and I ask You. I ask You for permission to come.”
I am silent after that. I want to come for Her on the phone, but I am scared to ask Her, then She speaks as Her breathing is fast. “I want you to come here and now Heather, but you are going to ask me, and once you ask me, you will come for me, do you understand?” I can hear Her growl, hearing Her touch Herself through the phone, hearing the sounds She makes, drives me wild. I cannot do this much longer so I ask Her, “Mistress, may I come.” There is silence on the other end of the line, but not for long, I can hear Her climax, and I bite my lip, my body is shaking and I ask Her again. “Mistress may I come.” Then Her voice, slowly speaks to me, for the first time in my life, She is hearing me masturbate, and for the first time since I have been with Her, She tells me: “No.”
My Mistress had been out with friends and I was surprised when the phone rang. "Hello my Mistress." I answered as my heart started beating a little faster. I closed my eyes as I heard her soft soothing voice whispering in my ear "Hello My girl." She sounded like She was out of breath, it took me a few seconds to realize what was going on, but the soft moan that took control over my own body was very clear. "My girl, tell me a fantasy, now." I leaned back into my chair and thought about a fantasy to tell Her, to satisfy Her, to make Her happy. "Heather.." It was almost a whimper, and it startled me. "Heather.. " she said again, "Tell me a fantasy, a real one, don't make it up, tell me your fantasy, now."
I clear my throat and slowly start to speak. “In my fantasy my Mistress, You are watching me while I masturbate.” I can hear Her chuckle, “Very nice little one, tell me what happens.” I heard noise coming from the other end of the line, but decided not to ask Her what it was. I continue with my story and once again close my eyes to concentrate better. “I am lying down on bed and You are sitting across from me, in a big comfy chair. You put a blindfold over my eyes and have already told me to touch myself, so I am. My hands are stroking my skin and knowing that You are sitting across from me, watching me, makes me incredible wet.” I hear little sounds of approval coming from the back of Her throat as I continue. “In my mind I am not thinking about You watching me, but thoughts about Your soft skin, Your soft lips, Your touch on my skin run through my head. My hands run further down my skin, over my chest to my breasts and I pinch my nipples, making them hard, wishing it was Your touch that hardened them.” She whispers in my ear, “Touch yourself My girl.” I waste no time, I need the release, I need to feel Her close. My hand slips down my sweatpants and I run a finger through my already wet folds. I softly moan, and feel embarrassed. I have never done this for her before. We have never done this before. My finger teases my clit but soon finds a steady rhythm and I can already feel the tension building in my body. “Good girl, now continue your fantasy.” I hear a soft buzzing coming from the other end of the phone and I gasp. “Now, Heather, don’t make me wait.” So I continue telling her about my fantasy. “I reach for the vibrator that lies next to me and I turn it on. My cheeks are red hot as You watch me moving the vibrator more down and eventually slip it inside of me. I think about You sitting there, running Your own fingers over Your skin, slowly down Your belly and then between the wet silk folds between Your legs. I think about Your fingers brushing the tight bundle of nerves as You softly stroke it.” “That’s it My girl, are you getting closer, don’t even dare to come without my permission.” My breathing is faster and it gets harder to concentrate on the fantasy, I can hear Her softly moaning and I hear the buzzing getting louder. “Go on Heather, I told You, don’t make me wait.” Your hands are slowly moving further down and I let the vibrator slip out of me and tease my clit with it, the moment Your fingers dip inside of You. As Your fingers slide in and out of the hot, wet, velvet tunnel, my own tension builds.” And it does, my tension is building, I am on the edge of coming, but I know, I can’t, not until She tells me to.
“I spread my own legs wider and the vibrator is now on full speed, the muscles in my leg tensing and my body is shaking. In my fantasy You are very close as well, Your fingers are moving faster and faster, as Your other hand rubs Your clit. Watching You like that, knowing You are watching me as well, makes me so wet, and I ask You. I ask You for permission to come.”
I am silent after that. I want to come for Her on the phone, but I am scared to ask Her, then She speaks as Her breathing is fast. “I want you to come here and now Heather, but you are going to ask me, and once you ask me, you will come for me, do you understand?” I can hear Her growl, hearing Her touch Herself through the phone, hearing the sounds She makes, drives me wild. I cannot do this much longer so I ask Her, “Mistress, may I come.” There is silence on the other end of the line, but not for long, I can hear Her climax, and I bite my lip, my body is shaking and I ask Her again. “Mistress may I come.” Then Her voice, slowly speaks to me, for the first time in my life, She is hearing me masturbate, and for the first time since I have been with Her, She tells me: “No.”
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Lesson Learned
Submitted anonymously by a submissive at the Dominion
I'm a horny slut these days and there are good reasons for it. The biggest reason is my new sweet and sexy Miss. Believe me, there were days I was far from this horny and my sexdrive would be below zero. There were good reasons for that too. But these days, I can't seem to get enough and that.......that really pleases my Miss.
‘That’s wonderful!' was the first thing she said when I told her of this fact. 'But from now on, you're only going to cum, when I allow you to cum' was the next thing she said and at the same time as a sigh slipped my mouth, my stomach jumped with excitement.
Denial.
I knew this would be hard for me, I knew it as soon as she spoke these words. But the fact that it would be hard, made it all the more exciting to have this restriction. The idea of pleasing my Miss, giving her the trust and knowledge that all my sexual pleasure from now on will be only for her, it made me feel much more submissive instantly.
The day came Miss wouldn’t be able to get in touch with me for a few days and I knew, I wouldn’t be able to cum for at least the same amount of time. ‘I can do this Miss’ I promised her the day before she would leave. ‘You want to please me, don’t you? And not disappoint me?’ she asked me one last time, to make sure. ‘Yes Miss, I do want to please you and I wont disappoint you Miss’, I respond. It was true, I wanted to make her proud, showing her I could do it, letting my excitement build up for the day she would be back, or better, for the day she would allow me to cum again.
Yes, I messed up.
She wasn’t even gone for a full day yet, but my hormones seemed to run wild. Fantasies about her and me had been going through my head all day, making me horny as hell. I had been working outside and coming home I needed a shower. Washing myself, touching myself, seeing and feeling my somewhat hard cock. ‘Don’t do it, don’t even think about it’ I repeated in my head, but at the same time the fact that I shouldn’t do it, seemed to turn me on even more and I felt my cock harden. ‘Oh my god’ I whispered to myself, and bit my lip. Quickly I turned off the hot water, and only cold water hit my body. That cooled me down a bit and I managed to get out of the shower without breaking any promise….yet.
The doorbell rang. ‘Hello, who is it?’ I asked, ‘we have a package for you sir’. I went down and soon discovered the package they brought me was a toy I ordered months ago. I totally forgot about it! Inside again I opened up the package and two pretty but totally fake silicon lips faced me. I gulped. Oh my god, I wanted to try that so bad. The lips looked perfect, I wanted to feel those around my cock, eyes closed, pretending it was my Miss. My cock grew hard again and soon I felt it softly throbbing in my pants. I kept staring at the silicon mouth and naughty thoughts ran through my head. My hand reached for my crotch. ‘Don’t do it….don’t…do it, you promised’. Those words, together with the naughty thoughts, filled my head. ‘A little touch won’t hurt’ I suddenly found myself thinking and my hand grabbed my semi- hard cock, pulling it out of my pants. I stroked it slowly, making it more hard but careful not to get too excited. If I didn’t cum, I didn’t break my promise, was what I was thinking. My cock was rock hard now and the lips where still ‘staring’ at me. I picked up the sex toy and brought it near the tip of my cock. Oh mannn…..seeing those lips, silicon or not, it drove me crazy, I needed a blow job so bad. ‘Don’t do it!’ I shouted inside my head ‘you know you wont be able to stop if you try it, don’t do it, you promised!’. But at the same time, my hand slowly pressed the mouth onto the tip, causing the lips to open and ‘suck in’ my hard cock. I closed my eyes and began lifting it up and down. ‘Ohhhhh…’ I moaned softly. It felt so good and at the same time, knowing that I was close to the point of no-turning-back, I felt worried and bad. Still my hand was pushing and pulling the silicon mouth, moving it up and down my cock, speeding it up. ‘ Ohhhh…’ I moaned again and my cock started to throb like crazy. Soon I knew it was too late, there was definitely no turning back. I moved it up and down faster and faster, breathing heavy, moaning and soon……’ ohhhhhhhhh yessss’ ….I came hard inside the mouth, filling it with my warm cum. Immediately after the climax, a feeling of shame and sorrow entered my whole body. ‘ASSHOLE’ I whispered to myself, ‘you cant even do ONE day, you ass, what is wrong with you?!’.
Regrets.
Regrets came instantly, causing a sick feeling in my stomach. I knew I had disappointed her big time, and for what? One stupid little cum? I knew I would have to face her and tell her what I had done. Not telling her or lying about it, was no option, it would make this thing we had totally meaningless and the shame would build up, making me feel even more horrible in time. Not only had I disappointed my Miss, I was disappointed in myself as well. Silly as it might sound, I had looked forward to building up my energy, my sexdrive, my excitement for the day she came back. Now, in just about 10 minutes I had already ruined that plan. I was so mad at myself for doing that and at the same time scared shit for the moment I would have to face and tell my Miss how I disappointed her. I felt stupid.
Lesson learned.
Cumming when you’re not allowed to cum, doesn’t give you pleasure, it gives you a stomach ache. Not being able to make your Miss proud, knowing you have disappointed her, not a good feeling. Being able to hold back just for her, to cum just for her, to really have her own your dick, your pleasure. Its what I want, its what I need and it for sure is what it will be like from this moment on. My cock is yours Miss, my pleasure is yours, I only cum…for you.
Time to hide my new toy…far, far away.
I'm a horny slut these days and there are good reasons for it. The biggest reason is my new sweet and sexy Miss. Believe me, there were days I was far from this horny and my sexdrive would be below zero. There were good reasons for that too. But these days, I can't seem to get enough and that.......that really pleases my Miss.
‘That’s wonderful!' was the first thing she said when I told her of this fact. 'But from now on, you're only going to cum, when I allow you to cum' was the next thing she said and at the same time as a sigh slipped my mouth, my stomach jumped with excitement.
Denial.
I knew this would be hard for me, I knew it as soon as she spoke these words. But the fact that it would be hard, made it all the more exciting to have this restriction. The idea of pleasing my Miss, giving her the trust and knowledge that all my sexual pleasure from now on will be only for her, it made me feel much more submissive instantly.
The day came Miss wouldn’t be able to get in touch with me for a few days and I knew, I wouldn’t be able to cum for at least the same amount of time. ‘I can do this Miss’ I promised her the day before she would leave. ‘You want to please me, don’t you? And not disappoint me?’ she asked me one last time, to make sure. ‘Yes Miss, I do want to please you and I wont disappoint you Miss’, I respond. It was true, I wanted to make her proud, showing her I could do it, letting my excitement build up for the day she would be back, or better, for the day she would allow me to cum again.
Yes, I messed up.
She wasn’t even gone for a full day yet, but my hormones seemed to run wild. Fantasies about her and me had been going through my head all day, making me horny as hell. I had been working outside and coming home I needed a shower. Washing myself, touching myself, seeing and feeling my somewhat hard cock. ‘Don’t do it, don’t even think about it’ I repeated in my head, but at the same time the fact that I shouldn’t do it, seemed to turn me on even more and I felt my cock harden. ‘Oh my god’ I whispered to myself, and bit my lip. Quickly I turned off the hot water, and only cold water hit my body. That cooled me down a bit and I managed to get out of the shower without breaking any promise….yet.
The doorbell rang. ‘Hello, who is it?’ I asked, ‘we have a package for you sir’. I went down and soon discovered the package they brought me was a toy I ordered months ago. I totally forgot about it! Inside again I opened up the package and two pretty but totally fake silicon lips faced me. I gulped. Oh my god, I wanted to try that so bad. The lips looked perfect, I wanted to feel those around my cock, eyes closed, pretending it was my Miss. My cock grew hard again and soon I felt it softly throbbing in my pants. I kept staring at the silicon mouth and naughty thoughts ran through my head. My hand reached for my crotch. ‘Don’t do it….don’t…do it, you promised’. Those words, together with the naughty thoughts, filled my head. ‘A little touch won’t hurt’ I suddenly found myself thinking and my hand grabbed my semi- hard cock, pulling it out of my pants. I stroked it slowly, making it more hard but careful not to get too excited. If I didn’t cum, I didn’t break my promise, was what I was thinking. My cock was rock hard now and the lips where still ‘staring’ at me. I picked up the sex toy and brought it near the tip of my cock. Oh mannn…..seeing those lips, silicon or not, it drove me crazy, I needed a blow job so bad. ‘Don’t do it!’ I shouted inside my head ‘you know you wont be able to stop if you try it, don’t do it, you promised!’. But at the same time, my hand slowly pressed the mouth onto the tip, causing the lips to open and ‘suck in’ my hard cock. I closed my eyes and began lifting it up and down. ‘Ohhhhh…’ I moaned softly. It felt so good and at the same time, knowing that I was close to the point of no-turning-back, I felt worried and bad. Still my hand was pushing and pulling the silicon mouth, moving it up and down my cock, speeding it up. ‘ Ohhhh…’ I moaned again and my cock started to throb like crazy. Soon I knew it was too late, there was definitely no turning back. I moved it up and down faster and faster, breathing heavy, moaning and soon……’ ohhhhhhhhh yessss’ ….I came hard inside the mouth, filling it with my warm cum. Immediately after the climax, a feeling of shame and sorrow entered my whole body. ‘ASSHOLE’ I whispered to myself, ‘you cant even do ONE day, you ass, what is wrong with you?!’.
Regrets.
Regrets came instantly, causing a sick feeling in my stomach. I knew I had disappointed her big time, and for what? One stupid little cum? I knew I would have to face her and tell her what I had done. Not telling her or lying about it, was no option, it would make this thing we had totally meaningless and the shame would build up, making me feel even more horrible in time. Not only had I disappointed my Miss, I was disappointed in myself as well. Silly as it might sound, I had looked forward to building up my energy, my sexdrive, my excitement for the day she came back. Now, in just about 10 minutes I had already ruined that plan. I was so mad at myself for doing that and at the same time scared shit for the moment I would have to face and tell my Miss how I disappointed her. I felt stupid.
Lesson learned.
Cumming when you’re not allowed to cum, doesn’t give you pleasure, it gives you a stomach ache. Not being able to make your Miss proud, knowing you have disappointed her, not a good feeling. Being able to hold back just for her, to cum just for her, to really have her own your dick, your pleasure. Its what I want, its what I need and it for sure is what it will be like from this moment on. My cock is yours Miss, my pleasure is yours, I only cum…for you.
Time to hide my new toy…far, far away.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Journey of Submission Part V
Submitted by Nicolae Parx
SPIRIT
Learning
He sat on the floor at her feet and simply listened to her talk so freely and easily about something that seemed so overpowering to him that he wanted to jump up and demand what was in his heart. The question burdening his soul was as simple as it was bottomless.
"Why hasn't anyone done this to me yet?"
The words in his heart could not yet find expression on his lips so he sat silently and pressed his torso against her legs is if that closeness would somehow bring answers to the raging uncertainty inside him. She talked simply and plainly about the most incredible journey he had ever experienced and the incongruity of her calm and instructive demeanor juxtaposed against his uncomprehending and childlike wonder almost frightened him more than he was afraid of his own body's passion.
She spoke clearly.
"There is even an ancient Chinese fashion called 'nip and nurture', which suggests an almost combative concept, to withhold your own orgasm, and promote your partner's, so you can vampire the energy for your own power and longevity."
It was the word 'vampire' that captured Nicolae's full attention and his head, already oddly invigorated as well as exhausted from his recent experience, caught the word and held it tightly in his brain. She had vampired him, he suddenly realized. She had sucked the energy out of him that rent his body with an explosion of immense proportions. Oddly, he wasn't tired. In fact, he felt like running around the block.
And she had done it without even touching him. That was the most incomprehensible part to him and it illuminated yet another unknown facet of her power that kept him both in awe and sitting at her feet, nestled against her legs. Like a sponge, Nicolae wanted what she could give him and teach him. For that matter, he seemed to be the student that Roxana longed for; the boy with whom she could share some of the mysteries that had been revealed for her. To be effective, education must be reciprocal and both Roxana and Nicolae were housed within a unique symbiosis of want and need.
She continued expounding a bit more philosophically.
"Extended orgasmic response appears to induce a highly pleasurable state of heightened mental activity. This sexual high is similar to a deep meditative state, with electrical brain activity moving in more synchronous patterns and shifted toward alpha and theta waves, with greater electrical activity in the right side of the brain. Deep relaxation and meditation produce similar brain-wave shifts and patterns. Subjectively, such states induce feelings of peacefulness and harmony and an altered sense of time. The oceanic mental state that extended orgasmic response induces appears to be similar to states described by religious believers who have had visions of God or universal oneness. This common meditative transformation may explain the associations frequently addressed in world literature between sexuality and spirituality."
Nicolae believed that whatever had just happened to him certainly fit that description and it astounded him that she could describe it in such physiological and spiritual terms at the same time. What he had just been through was certainly just as spiritual as it was sexual. The experience was nothing like anything he had ever survived before, and the newness of it was as astonishing to him as the experience itself.
Why hadn't anyone done this to him before? The words rang through his mind as his ears listened and his brain tried to absorb her words.
"And you know something?" she asked without expecting an answer. "To me, this is not so much a sexual experience, as it is a meditative one. My awareness is on physical sensation and energy flow, my mind is occupied with prayer and visualization of physical or spiritual goals."
Nicolae suddenly felt a cold wave wash over him as he tried to understand her comment. Wasn't she concentrating on him throughout what had to be one of the most profound phenomena that had ever invaded his body and mind? If anything was flowing, he snorted snidely but silently, it was his own passion. Wasn't this about him?
After all, Nicolae figured, truly, for a man to choose to serve his Lady is a very classical romantic gesture. When you think of men who choose to serve, you think of white knights on chargers, don't you? And they're all vowing, "To thee my Lady I pledge my troth, and I shall serve thee all my days." Isn't that how it worked? Wasn't he her knight, her protector, and her servant all wrapped up as one on that same lofty plane?
Reaching down to stroke his hair, Roxana felt his body's sudden tensing against her legs. "You don't understand yet," she affirmed his confusion and patted his hair. "But you will. Give it time, my sweet boy, and you will understand."
"Well," he started with trepidation, "I sort of saw myself as your Knight."
With his head buried in her legs, he couldn't see her smile but he felt her calm reassurance and snuggled in more closely.
Roxana's response was delivered with a grin.
"So if submissive men like you are noble knights on white chargers, pledging their power in support of their Ladies and children, I want you to keep in mind those same knights regularly beat the crap out of each other."
She couldn't help herself and began laughing softly. As her amusement increased, so did the vibration in her calves and soon Nicolae could do little but chuckle along with her. Learning about what Roxana called 'submission' was one challenge after another, but Nicolae remembered her initial rule delivered so long ago during their online chats.
"Have fun," she admonished him. "I demand that you have fun because I know that I will."
"The mystics would call it the yin and the yang," she continued instructively. "You can't have one without the other - but more importantly, you can't appreciate one without the other. That's the lesson of the Tao, as far as I'm concerned," Roxana concluded.
Nicolae thought quietly for a while before allowing the question she knew was buried yet burning inside him to rise to his lips.
"One what?" he almost exploded with curiosity. "You can't have one WHAT? You can't appreciate one WHAT?"
Nicolae would have worn his frustration on his sleeve if he had been wearing a shirt, but Roxana kept him unclothed while they were together. It was just her way and he didn't mind it at all. Feeling her skin against his own when she touched him was one of his joys.
She reached down and cuddled his head as she answered him softly. "Like light and darkness, the opposites are truly one, and they require each other to be understand each or both." Silent for a moment, Roxana stretched her arms down and held his shoulders in her strength as if to pour her power into him as a sort of pre-defense for what she was about to say.
"Unless we know pain and understand it, we cannot fully know pleasure."
His ears that were nestled snugly and comfortably against her calves, heard her words but their impact hadn't yet found target. Knowing Nicolae so well and recognizing that he had to arrive at his own perceptions without being forced there, Roxana sat silently and held him securely against her. His warm skin invigorated her and she could feel the power that was building in his brain. It would burst out of its own accord and she was willing to give him that time.
"Is that what you did to me?" he asked simply. And Roxana realized that he was finally beginning to understand.
"I'd rather show you," Roxana whispered softly while she gripped him more tightly. "We'll look into that … soon. Right now, I want you to get some rest."
Lifting his suddenly exhausted shoulders, Roxana forced him upright and led him toward the bedroom wing. Her arm, wrapped tightly around his thin waist, ushered him past the bedroom that had been his since his arrival and stopped him at the end of the hall.
"You'll sleep here tonight," she spoke deliberately.
When Nicolae lifted his face from its comfortable spot on her shoulder, he saw the door to what must have been her suite. Until now, it had been merely a door; a closed portal that led deeper into his mind's mystery. It had suddenly taken on a brand new meaning and held immeasurable possibility.
Yin and Yang
The down pillow under his head provided support that Nicolae hadn't realized he needed until he gave his body to the mattress's welcome buttress against his skin. Tired through his bones, Nicolae fell asleep almost instantly into a blissful repose that only the deserving and the exhausted are afforded. He had no idea how long he slept.
What woke him in the midst of total darkness wasn't the expected glint of warm sunshine rising over the ocean and peeking through a wispy white curtain. Instead, Nicolae was startled into awareness by the oddly distant feeling of something touching his chest. Unsure of its origin, he fought with his foggy mind to define the feeling.
Through the core of that fog, he heard a voice whispering in his ear.
"Yin and yang," he heard soothingly as the pressure on his chest increased slightly. "Pleasure and pain are the same," his ear drank the melodious tone. "One and the same," the voice continued as the pressure on his chest defined itself as a sharpness morphing to soft comfort.
Naked and warm under a down comforter, Nicolae struggled to focus on the voice, then on the feeling. His mind, still clouded by sleep, darted from one to the other and could not settle its attention on either. The soft voice in his ear momentarily took over his senses then his entire concentration swung to the growing intensity inflicted on his upper body by insistent fingers. As soon the soothing words penetrated his senses, twinges of pain worked their way from his chest into his growing consciousness.
He had no idea how long he laid there, shifting his attention from one sense to another, from hearing to feeling, or from comfort to aching soreness. Within indiscernible minutes or hours, Nicolae grew weary of differentiating the polar opposites that invaded his sleep. Rather than try to categorize the conflicting feelings, he closed his eyes and ordered his body simply to accept them and allow the emotions each to have its own time.
The voice was as encouraging as it was stern.
"Yin and yang," it repeated. "Feel all of it, feel it in your soul." Suddenly there was no voice as increasing levels of sharp pain danced across his skin. When he felt he would cry out in agony from its intensity, the voice began again.
"Don't struggle," it reassured him. "Breathe into me," it persuaded as the force exerted itself again across his aching nipples and chest. One after another, the voice interspersed itself with the pain and soon the two became a single energy that surrounded him like the down comforter warmed him like a loving cocoon against the evening's chill.
The complexity of the feelings drained his mind of its ability to sort out his surroundings. Nicolae found himself fighting to maintain any semblance of controlling his comprehension of what was going on around him and to him and he succumbed to the voice's passionate urging that he merely allow himself to feel and not think. The problem was that he didn't know how to do that.
The now-searing distress he felt when the fingers touched
him burned like fire on his skin and when he reached the apex of agony, the voice, as if it could read his mind as well as his tolerance level, joined the dance to create an eerie pas de deux that any stage would have been proud to produce. Shifting his concentration repeatedly, Nicolae's body began its own dance of pure animal reaction to the overwhelming sensations that he was experiencing.
His hips began to sway slightly in rhythm to the unyielding touch. As he drew his focus to that rhythm, the voice penetrated his ear and shook his concentration. Again and again, the voice and touch overtook each other and Nicolae's legs trembled as his emotional tension rose. Suddenly and surreptitiously, the insistent fingers increased their center of attention and incorporated more of his body in their merciless dance.
As suddenly as he realized the touch reach for his stomach, the voice generated new waves in his ear.
"Take what is given," he heard between his own gasps of cool night air. "Take all of it," the voice insisted and added, "Feel! Feel and don't think!"
Suddenly desperate to obey the command that seemed so simple and inviting, Nicolae tensed every muscle in his body in order to comply. Figuring that he could override his body's reaction by asserting physical strength, he exhorted his body to grow rigid and by doing so, end the shuddering and shaking that seemed to threaten his need to control his reactions, even though he was unable to decipher why that control seemed so important right now.
Complete control had always been a part of his life; it had become his defense against the turmoil life had thrown at him for three decades. He controlled his anger successfully when others would have launched an all-out assault, especially where his family was concerned, and shifted his attention to the greater good that he could find in the world around him. Of course, that anger would be expressed in other places and in other ways, but Nicolae was proud of his restraint and ability to inflict his anger on things that couldn't care about his explosions of rage.
He drove motorcycles fast and big trucks through the mountains. It satisfied his needs and prevented him from unduly haranguing his friends who were, unlike his family, the life support system on which he relied for sanity and focus. With a positive attitude to all the challenges that would have impeded lesser men, Nicolae saw each day as a contest and set out to win.
It was a decision that had saved his life on many occasions.
Yet his carefully honed sense of control was slipping from his fingers as he lay silently and struggled to allow what the voice demanded. "Take it all," it insisted. The dancer's body, now rigid with control, fought the voice's edict.
Conquering the day always implied winning and Nicolae wrestled with the idea of 'taking' rather than 'triumphing.' The incessantly intense sensations that danced across an increasing perimeter of his legs, arms and shoulders were juxtaposed by that welcome voice of assurance and calm. Their impact grew and grew until the sensation melded into the voice and the voice became the pain. Muscle after muscle tensed until every inch of Nicolae was involved fully in this extraordinary and new experience.
His mind threatened to explode and that loss of control terrified him.
The only thing separating Nicolae from dipping into the insanity he feared more than anything else was the unstoppable voice and steadfast touch that triggered him into what was now a full-body spasm of such intense proportions that his emotions were ragged. For the first time he could recall, he was not in control of his muscles. Had he tried, he could not have stood up or even sat.
Nicolae was as petrified as he was inexplicably calm.
"Let it go," the voice drilled into his brain. "Take it all," it insisted.
The contradiction seemed so clear yet unfathomable. Nicolae felt the soreness in his strained muscles threaten him almost as much as did his mind's inability to let go of his comforting self control. He didn't know how to let it go and take it all. There was nothing in his training or selfimposed upbringing that gave him the tools he needed to cope with this dichotomy of direction. Feeling the horrible anguish of being split apart by his own wanting and the voice's insisting demands, Nicolae's eyes dripped tears of exhaustion and loss.
He couldn't go on. There was no more strength inside him to struggle and no wisdom to tell him how to 'let it go' and 'take it all.' The sense of failure surrounded him and sucked him into its dismal grip.
The merciless fingers didn't care about his impending implosion; rather, they increased their target and now began separating his fingers as if to pull each one deliberately from his hand. They sought his neck and shoulders, his chest and stomach, his rock-solid legs and calves and moved steadfastly toward his ankles. A mass of tension and desperation, Nicolae battled with himself to hang on just a moment longer. There was no future, no light at the end of any tunnel and no goal in sight. All that confronted him was this single moment in time and his raw determination to hold on to his sanity for the instant.
It was at that sacred and scary moment that the fingers aimed for his feet.
Sharpness touched his toes and pitilessly and ruthlessly took their target. Unable to offer any defense, Nicolae felt the cold-blooded assault and knew instantaneously that no resistance would be offered. Spent and defeated, he could merely part his lips and offer the shrieks of agony that tore at his body and spirit. Howling uncontrollably, Nicolae screamed his passion from a raw throat as huge spasms shook his body and threatened to tear his soul apart.
His barrage was as incessant as it was unrefined or practiced. Over and over, he shrieked his agony into the cool night air and felt nothing but waves of exploding sensation propel from muscles that cried out from their stress. Unwilling and unable to find a shred of control within him, Nicolae's growls and shrieks filled the room with the sounds of pure crazed passion. His eyes exploded in tears as his chest ignited in gut-wrenching sobs.
He had never felt that level of exhaustion before. Yet his body would not compromise and continued in wave after wave of shuddering and shaking that was released from so deep inside him that Nicolae could not even name its source. Only incomprehensible grunts and intense shrieks emerged from his now hoarse throat yet Nicolae lacked the power to make them stop.
For this moment, he had no control.
After what seemed like an eternity of insanity, Nicolae felt this thoughts creep slowly back toward reality, although what comprised his reality was no longer clearly defined. Instead of any sense of confidence or assuredness, he felt emptiness fill the void that made up all he could feel. Ripped, torn and shredded, Nicolae fought to find himself, but the depth of barrenness inside his heart overpowered that effort.
He felt totally empty and scared to death.
"Hold onto me," the voice demanded anew.
With the final measure of strength he could manage, he rolled toward her and allowed Roxana to take his body - and his soul - in her arms. Nestling his head into her shoulder, he felt her pull the comforter over him and draw him even closer to her skin. The boundary between them disappeared for that time as Nicolae felt her powerful spirit surround his emptiness and hold it carefully while it healed.
Roxana's fingers caressed his wavy blond hair and she whispered into his ear.
"Your power," she began, "is mine. It's the gift you gave and the gift I took."
Her words washed over his ear and barely entered his brain. Too weary to concentrate, Nicolae lay immobile in her arms.
"Mine," she whispered offhandedly.
And he knew, for the first time in his life, that he had given himself to another person. And it felt very good.
SPIRIT
Learning
He sat on the floor at her feet and simply listened to her talk so freely and easily about something that seemed so overpowering to him that he wanted to jump up and demand what was in his heart. The question burdening his soul was as simple as it was bottomless.
"Why hasn't anyone done this to me yet?"
The words in his heart could not yet find expression on his lips so he sat silently and pressed his torso against her legs is if that closeness would somehow bring answers to the raging uncertainty inside him. She talked simply and plainly about the most incredible journey he had ever experienced and the incongruity of her calm and instructive demeanor juxtaposed against his uncomprehending and childlike wonder almost frightened him more than he was afraid of his own body's passion.
She spoke clearly.
"There is even an ancient Chinese fashion called 'nip and nurture', which suggests an almost combative concept, to withhold your own orgasm, and promote your partner's, so you can vampire the energy for your own power and longevity."
It was the word 'vampire' that captured Nicolae's full attention and his head, already oddly invigorated as well as exhausted from his recent experience, caught the word and held it tightly in his brain. She had vampired him, he suddenly realized. She had sucked the energy out of him that rent his body with an explosion of immense proportions. Oddly, he wasn't tired. In fact, he felt like running around the block.
And she had done it without even touching him. That was the most incomprehensible part to him and it illuminated yet another unknown facet of her power that kept him both in awe and sitting at her feet, nestled against her legs. Like a sponge, Nicolae wanted what she could give him and teach him. For that matter, he seemed to be the student that Roxana longed for; the boy with whom she could share some of the mysteries that had been revealed for her. To be effective, education must be reciprocal and both Roxana and Nicolae were housed within a unique symbiosis of want and need.
She continued expounding a bit more philosophically.
"Extended orgasmic response appears to induce a highly pleasurable state of heightened mental activity. This sexual high is similar to a deep meditative state, with electrical brain activity moving in more synchronous patterns and shifted toward alpha and theta waves, with greater electrical activity in the right side of the brain. Deep relaxation and meditation produce similar brain-wave shifts and patterns. Subjectively, such states induce feelings of peacefulness and harmony and an altered sense of time. The oceanic mental state that extended orgasmic response induces appears to be similar to states described by religious believers who have had visions of God or universal oneness. This common meditative transformation may explain the associations frequently addressed in world literature between sexuality and spirituality."
Nicolae believed that whatever had just happened to him certainly fit that description and it astounded him that she could describe it in such physiological and spiritual terms at the same time. What he had just been through was certainly just as spiritual as it was sexual. The experience was nothing like anything he had ever survived before, and the newness of it was as astonishing to him as the experience itself.
Why hadn't anyone done this to him before? The words rang through his mind as his ears listened and his brain tried to absorb her words.
"And you know something?" she asked without expecting an answer. "To me, this is not so much a sexual experience, as it is a meditative one. My awareness is on physical sensation and energy flow, my mind is occupied with prayer and visualization of physical or spiritual goals."
Nicolae suddenly felt a cold wave wash over him as he tried to understand her comment. Wasn't she concentrating on him throughout what had to be one of the most profound phenomena that had ever invaded his body and mind? If anything was flowing, he snorted snidely but silently, it was his own passion. Wasn't this about him?
After all, Nicolae figured, truly, for a man to choose to serve his Lady is a very classical romantic gesture. When you think of men who choose to serve, you think of white knights on chargers, don't you? And they're all vowing, "To thee my Lady I pledge my troth, and I shall serve thee all my days." Isn't that how it worked? Wasn't he her knight, her protector, and her servant all wrapped up as one on that same lofty plane?
Reaching down to stroke his hair, Roxana felt his body's sudden tensing against her legs. "You don't understand yet," she affirmed his confusion and patted his hair. "But you will. Give it time, my sweet boy, and you will understand."
"Well," he started with trepidation, "I sort of saw myself as your Knight."
With his head buried in her legs, he couldn't see her smile but he felt her calm reassurance and snuggled in more closely.
Roxana's response was delivered with a grin.
"So if submissive men like you are noble knights on white chargers, pledging their power in support of their Ladies and children, I want you to keep in mind those same knights regularly beat the crap out of each other."
She couldn't help herself and began laughing softly. As her amusement increased, so did the vibration in her calves and soon Nicolae could do little but chuckle along with her. Learning about what Roxana called 'submission' was one challenge after another, but Nicolae remembered her initial rule delivered so long ago during their online chats.
"Have fun," she admonished him. "I demand that you have fun because I know that I will."
"The mystics would call it the yin and the yang," she continued instructively. "You can't have one without the other - but more importantly, you can't appreciate one without the other. That's the lesson of the Tao, as far as I'm concerned," Roxana concluded.
Nicolae thought quietly for a while before allowing the question she knew was buried yet burning inside him to rise to his lips.
"One what?" he almost exploded with curiosity. "You can't have one WHAT? You can't appreciate one WHAT?"
Nicolae would have worn his frustration on his sleeve if he had been wearing a shirt, but Roxana kept him unclothed while they were together. It was just her way and he didn't mind it at all. Feeling her skin against his own when she touched him was one of his joys.
She reached down and cuddled his head as she answered him softly. "Like light and darkness, the opposites are truly one, and they require each other to be understand each or both." Silent for a moment, Roxana stretched her arms down and held his shoulders in her strength as if to pour her power into him as a sort of pre-defense for what she was about to say.
"Unless we know pain and understand it, we cannot fully know pleasure."
His ears that were nestled snugly and comfortably against her calves, heard her words but their impact hadn't yet found target. Knowing Nicolae so well and recognizing that he had to arrive at his own perceptions without being forced there, Roxana sat silently and held him securely against her. His warm skin invigorated her and she could feel the power that was building in his brain. It would burst out of its own accord and she was willing to give him that time.
"Is that what you did to me?" he asked simply. And Roxana realized that he was finally beginning to understand.
"I'd rather show you," Roxana whispered softly while she gripped him more tightly. "We'll look into that … soon. Right now, I want you to get some rest."
Lifting his suddenly exhausted shoulders, Roxana forced him upright and led him toward the bedroom wing. Her arm, wrapped tightly around his thin waist, ushered him past the bedroom that had been his since his arrival and stopped him at the end of the hall.
"You'll sleep here tonight," she spoke deliberately.
When Nicolae lifted his face from its comfortable spot on her shoulder, he saw the door to what must have been her suite. Until now, it had been merely a door; a closed portal that led deeper into his mind's mystery. It had suddenly taken on a brand new meaning and held immeasurable possibility.
Yin and Yang
The down pillow under his head provided support that Nicolae hadn't realized he needed until he gave his body to the mattress's welcome buttress against his skin. Tired through his bones, Nicolae fell asleep almost instantly into a blissful repose that only the deserving and the exhausted are afforded. He had no idea how long he slept.
What woke him in the midst of total darkness wasn't the expected glint of warm sunshine rising over the ocean and peeking through a wispy white curtain. Instead, Nicolae was startled into awareness by the oddly distant feeling of something touching his chest. Unsure of its origin, he fought with his foggy mind to define the feeling.
Through the core of that fog, he heard a voice whispering in his ear.
"Yin and yang," he heard soothingly as the pressure on his chest increased slightly. "Pleasure and pain are the same," his ear drank the melodious tone. "One and the same," the voice continued as the pressure on his chest defined itself as a sharpness morphing to soft comfort.
Naked and warm under a down comforter, Nicolae struggled to focus on the voice, then on the feeling. His mind, still clouded by sleep, darted from one to the other and could not settle its attention on either. The soft voice in his ear momentarily took over his senses then his entire concentration swung to the growing intensity inflicted on his upper body by insistent fingers. As soon the soothing words penetrated his senses, twinges of pain worked their way from his chest into his growing consciousness.
He had no idea how long he laid there, shifting his attention from one sense to another, from hearing to feeling, or from comfort to aching soreness. Within indiscernible minutes or hours, Nicolae grew weary of differentiating the polar opposites that invaded his sleep. Rather than try to categorize the conflicting feelings, he closed his eyes and ordered his body simply to accept them and allow the emotions each to have its own time.
The voice was as encouraging as it was stern.
"Yin and yang," it repeated. "Feel all of it, feel it in your soul." Suddenly there was no voice as increasing levels of sharp pain danced across his skin. When he felt he would cry out in agony from its intensity, the voice began again.
"Don't struggle," it reassured him. "Breathe into me," it persuaded as the force exerted itself again across his aching nipples and chest. One after another, the voice interspersed itself with the pain and soon the two became a single energy that surrounded him like the down comforter warmed him like a loving cocoon against the evening's chill.
The complexity of the feelings drained his mind of its ability to sort out his surroundings. Nicolae found himself fighting to maintain any semblance of controlling his comprehension of what was going on around him and to him and he succumbed to the voice's passionate urging that he merely allow himself to feel and not think. The problem was that he didn't know how to do that.
The now-searing distress he felt when the fingers touched
him burned like fire on his skin and when he reached the apex of agony, the voice, as if it could read his mind as well as his tolerance level, joined the dance to create an eerie pas de deux that any stage would have been proud to produce. Shifting his concentration repeatedly, Nicolae's body began its own dance of pure animal reaction to the overwhelming sensations that he was experiencing.
His hips began to sway slightly in rhythm to the unyielding touch. As he drew his focus to that rhythm, the voice penetrated his ear and shook his concentration. Again and again, the voice and touch overtook each other and Nicolae's legs trembled as his emotional tension rose. Suddenly and surreptitiously, the insistent fingers increased their center of attention and incorporated more of his body in their merciless dance.
As suddenly as he realized the touch reach for his stomach, the voice generated new waves in his ear.
"Take what is given," he heard between his own gasps of cool night air. "Take all of it," the voice insisted and added, "Feel! Feel and don't think!"
Suddenly desperate to obey the command that seemed so simple and inviting, Nicolae tensed every muscle in his body in order to comply. Figuring that he could override his body's reaction by asserting physical strength, he exhorted his body to grow rigid and by doing so, end the shuddering and shaking that seemed to threaten his need to control his reactions, even though he was unable to decipher why that control seemed so important right now.
Complete control had always been a part of his life; it had become his defense against the turmoil life had thrown at him for three decades. He controlled his anger successfully when others would have launched an all-out assault, especially where his family was concerned, and shifted his attention to the greater good that he could find in the world around him. Of course, that anger would be expressed in other places and in other ways, but Nicolae was proud of his restraint and ability to inflict his anger on things that couldn't care about his explosions of rage.
He drove motorcycles fast and big trucks through the mountains. It satisfied his needs and prevented him from unduly haranguing his friends who were, unlike his family, the life support system on which he relied for sanity and focus. With a positive attitude to all the challenges that would have impeded lesser men, Nicolae saw each day as a contest and set out to win.
It was a decision that had saved his life on many occasions.
Yet his carefully honed sense of control was slipping from his fingers as he lay silently and struggled to allow what the voice demanded. "Take it all," it insisted. The dancer's body, now rigid with control, fought the voice's edict.
Conquering the day always implied winning and Nicolae wrestled with the idea of 'taking' rather than 'triumphing.' The incessantly intense sensations that danced across an increasing perimeter of his legs, arms and shoulders were juxtaposed by that welcome voice of assurance and calm. Their impact grew and grew until the sensation melded into the voice and the voice became the pain. Muscle after muscle tensed until every inch of Nicolae was involved fully in this extraordinary and new experience.
His mind threatened to explode and that loss of control terrified him.
The only thing separating Nicolae from dipping into the insanity he feared more than anything else was the unstoppable voice and steadfast touch that triggered him into what was now a full-body spasm of such intense proportions that his emotions were ragged. For the first time he could recall, he was not in control of his muscles. Had he tried, he could not have stood up or even sat.
Nicolae was as petrified as he was inexplicably calm.
"Let it go," the voice drilled into his brain. "Take it all," it insisted.
The contradiction seemed so clear yet unfathomable. Nicolae felt the soreness in his strained muscles threaten him almost as much as did his mind's inability to let go of his comforting self control. He didn't know how to let it go and take it all. There was nothing in his training or selfimposed upbringing that gave him the tools he needed to cope with this dichotomy of direction. Feeling the horrible anguish of being split apart by his own wanting and the voice's insisting demands, Nicolae's eyes dripped tears of exhaustion and loss.
He couldn't go on. There was no more strength inside him to struggle and no wisdom to tell him how to 'let it go' and 'take it all.' The sense of failure surrounded him and sucked him into its dismal grip.
The merciless fingers didn't care about his impending implosion; rather, they increased their target and now began separating his fingers as if to pull each one deliberately from his hand. They sought his neck and shoulders, his chest and stomach, his rock-solid legs and calves and moved steadfastly toward his ankles. A mass of tension and desperation, Nicolae battled with himself to hang on just a moment longer. There was no future, no light at the end of any tunnel and no goal in sight. All that confronted him was this single moment in time and his raw determination to hold on to his sanity for the instant.
It was at that sacred and scary moment that the fingers aimed for his feet.
Sharpness touched his toes and pitilessly and ruthlessly took their target. Unable to offer any defense, Nicolae felt the cold-blooded assault and knew instantaneously that no resistance would be offered. Spent and defeated, he could merely part his lips and offer the shrieks of agony that tore at his body and spirit. Howling uncontrollably, Nicolae screamed his passion from a raw throat as huge spasms shook his body and threatened to tear his soul apart.
His barrage was as incessant as it was unrefined or practiced. Over and over, he shrieked his agony into the cool night air and felt nothing but waves of exploding sensation propel from muscles that cried out from their stress. Unwilling and unable to find a shred of control within him, Nicolae's growls and shrieks filled the room with the sounds of pure crazed passion. His eyes exploded in tears as his chest ignited in gut-wrenching sobs.
He had never felt that level of exhaustion before. Yet his body would not compromise and continued in wave after wave of shuddering and shaking that was released from so deep inside him that Nicolae could not even name its source. Only incomprehensible grunts and intense shrieks emerged from his now hoarse throat yet Nicolae lacked the power to make them stop.
For this moment, he had no control.
After what seemed like an eternity of insanity, Nicolae felt this thoughts creep slowly back toward reality, although what comprised his reality was no longer clearly defined. Instead of any sense of confidence or assuredness, he felt emptiness fill the void that made up all he could feel. Ripped, torn and shredded, Nicolae fought to find himself, but the depth of barrenness inside his heart overpowered that effort.
He felt totally empty and scared to death.
"Hold onto me," the voice demanded anew.
With the final measure of strength he could manage, he rolled toward her and allowed Roxana to take his body - and his soul - in her arms. Nestling his head into her shoulder, he felt her pull the comforter over him and draw him even closer to her skin. The boundary between them disappeared for that time as Nicolae felt her powerful spirit surround his emptiness and hold it carefully while it healed.
Roxana's fingers caressed his wavy blond hair and she whispered into his ear.
"Your power," she began, "is mine. It's the gift you gave and the gift I took."
Her words washed over his ear and barely entered his brain. Too weary to concentrate, Nicolae lay immobile in her arms.
"Mine," she whispered offhandedly.
And he knew, for the first time in his life, that he had given himself to another person. And it felt very good.
Life Lesson
Submitted anonymously by a submissive of the Dominion
I was at Dominion one evening listening to a lively exchange with many Ladies present and after a bit of time the crowd thinned out leaving 2 ladies remaining and I excused myself Teleporting home. The one odd thing about this situation was that the voice function stayed logged into the Dominion and I could hear what was being said by these 2 ladies.
I know they thought that they were alone and the few minutes I listened I was shocked and very hurt by the comments that were made ..remarks concerning subs and other ladies, careless and hurtful things.
I never spoke to anyone about this including my own Mistress but I can never look at these 2 Ladies again in the same way without the stigma of that conversation coming to mind and the obvious 2 faced comments that must be going on .
I only write this as a reminder that if you arent willing to say something in public or to the person that the remarks are about maybe you shouldnt be saying it at all.
I thought that was a lesson we learned early in life.
I was at Dominion one evening listening to a lively exchange with many Ladies present and after a bit of time the crowd thinned out leaving 2 ladies remaining and I excused myself Teleporting home. The one odd thing about this situation was that the voice function stayed logged into the Dominion and I could hear what was being said by these 2 ladies.
I know they thought that they were alone and the few minutes I listened I was shocked and very hurt by the comments that were made ..remarks concerning subs and other ladies, careless and hurtful things.
I never spoke to anyone about this including my own Mistress but I can never look at these 2 Ladies again in the same way without the stigma of that conversation coming to mind and the obvious 2 faced comments that must be going on .
I only write this as a reminder that if you arent willing to say something in public or to the person that the remarks are about maybe you shouldnt be saying it at all.
I thought that was a lesson we learned early in life.
First Life Meeting
Submitted anonymously by a Domme of the Dominion
The airport was busy, her eyes scanned the crowds almost as if she didn't see them. Her plane had touched down just half an hour ago and suprisingly, she'd found her luggage quickly and had time to refresh herself from the flight already. For a brief instant, a flash of panic hit her, asking herself "why did they agree to this?", but then she remembered, the long nights together, sharing a space of their own where noone could interfere and now, she was desperate for the scent of him, to hold something tangible in her arms. When he'd said he felt the same way, there was no hiding from it, it had taken them years to acknowledge this and finally that moment was arriving fast. Taking another sip from her coffee cup, she listened as the loud speaker announced the imminent arrival of his plane, 5 more minutes. Taking a deep breath, she finished the coffee, a quick glance into a tiny mirror making sure he hair was in place, her make up not smugdged and one last lingering look at her boots, a smile forming on her lips as she did so.
As she began to make her way to the agreed meeting point, she wondered, would he remember and do what she had asked of him, she was almost certain he would, but for once the tiniest of doubt crept into her. They'd exchanged photos a couple of years previous, and then a few more since, but even now she wasn't sure who she was looking for. Watching each man step past her, eyeing the appearance, the smart business men with shiny shoes, clutching battered briefcases to the scruffiest teen, hair in disarry, sporting the obligatory ripped jeans and shade of black Tshirt. Her eyes settled suddenly on a bouquet of red roses, looking a little worse for wear but still, they were her clue, taking a moment to compose herself, she finally met his eyes, stepping forward a little, making the first move towards him. There was for a moment an almost awkward silence, something that hadn't transpired between them at all in their usual world, holding her breath a moment she just stood waiting.. He looked at her, she watched his face as that moment of recognition kicked in and he realised what she wanted of him, at first he laughed, shaking his head and holding out the flowers to her. She refused to take them, trying to keep her face expressionless even as her body shook with mirth, she knew now he would do it and when he did, it would mean something deep to both of them. Awkwardly he glanced around him, a dusting of blush on his cheeks, she just nodded, holding her head high and keeping her eyes firmly on him. She didn't wait long, she could almost see him shaking as he dropped to his knees before her, his arms finding their way around her thighs, the flowers discarded for now by his feet, she watched his eyes close as her hand naturally found it's way into his hair as if they had done this a thousand times before, but hadn't they..
She just uttered the words "Greetings, my boy", letting him remain at her feet for a few minutes, drowning in the feelings brought out that this was finally real, feeling his hair slip through her fingers the way she always imagined it would. For those moments, they were lost again in their world, the noise of the crowd dispersed, even ignoring the odd looks some people were giving them, what did they know, why should she care, for now, it was just him and her, keeping to a ritual that over the years had come to mean so much.
The airport was busy, her eyes scanned the crowds almost as if she didn't see them. Her plane had touched down just half an hour ago and suprisingly, she'd found her luggage quickly and had time to refresh herself from the flight already. For a brief instant, a flash of panic hit her, asking herself "why did they agree to this?", but then she remembered, the long nights together, sharing a space of their own where noone could interfere and now, she was desperate for the scent of him, to hold something tangible in her arms. When he'd said he felt the same way, there was no hiding from it, it had taken them years to acknowledge this and finally that moment was arriving fast. Taking another sip from her coffee cup, she listened as the loud speaker announced the imminent arrival of his plane, 5 more minutes. Taking a deep breath, she finished the coffee, a quick glance into a tiny mirror making sure he hair was in place, her make up not smugdged and one last lingering look at her boots, a smile forming on her lips as she did so.
As she began to make her way to the agreed meeting point, she wondered, would he remember and do what she had asked of him, she was almost certain he would, but for once the tiniest of doubt crept into her. They'd exchanged photos a couple of years previous, and then a few more since, but even now she wasn't sure who she was looking for. Watching each man step past her, eyeing the appearance, the smart business men with shiny shoes, clutching battered briefcases to the scruffiest teen, hair in disarry, sporting the obligatory ripped jeans and shade of black Tshirt. Her eyes settled suddenly on a bouquet of red roses, looking a little worse for wear but still, they were her clue, taking a moment to compose herself, she finally met his eyes, stepping forward a little, making the first move towards him. There was for a moment an almost awkward silence, something that hadn't transpired between them at all in their usual world, holding her breath a moment she just stood waiting.. He looked at her, she watched his face as that moment of recognition kicked in and he realised what she wanted of him, at first he laughed, shaking his head and holding out the flowers to her. She refused to take them, trying to keep her face expressionless even as her body shook with mirth, she knew now he would do it and when he did, it would mean something deep to both of them. Awkwardly he glanced around him, a dusting of blush on his cheeks, she just nodded, holding her head high and keeping her eyes firmly on him. She didn't wait long, she could almost see him shaking as he dropped to his knees before her, his arms finding their way around her thighs, the flowers discarded for now by his feet, she watched his eyes close as her hand naturally found it's way into his hair as if they had done this a thousand times before, but hadn't they..
She just uttered the words "Greetings, my boy", letting him remain at her feet for a few minutes, drowning in the feelings brought out that this was finally real, feeling his hair slip through her fingers the way she always imagined it would. For those moments, they were lost again in their world, the noise of the crowd dispersed, even ignoring the odd looks some people were giving them, what did they know, why should she care, for now, it was just him and her, keeping to a ritual that over the years had come to mean so much.
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