Many things would change tonight if he went with this. He rejected the fear in his heart and from all of this, but understood her need to end the indecision. It was called commitment. Was he ready? He had lived so long alone, a free spirit in all, but feeling the yearning of submitting so real, to the extremes of needing the pain, the humbleness. He had told her: “I love having you as my Mistress...I have much to learn and you are the one that can teach me.” Now was the time to prove his words and promises were true.
He stretched in the living room, his body showing the hours he spent keeping fit. He enjoyed that she did too. The living room was very simple as was all the small house, the outdoor was the most important with the gardens and trees. But that feeling of being cared for, coming from the outside, filtered into the house through the opened windows manifesting itself in colors, smells, shadows and the filtering of the sun rays as well as the breezes that floated through. No, it was not perfectly decorated, no art pieces, nor Arabian rugs; it was just the space that guarded the significant life for her and her loved ones, a home. Part of that home was all the play items of her life, the bolts, and furniture, hooks, instruments in several rooms, easily seen but not blatantly shocking, again it all blended. He shook his head trying to focus on his reason for being here.
She would want him naked, and as he took his clothes off and put them away neatly, he reminded himself that she would want him naked most of all. She wanted to know his feelings, his mind, for him to express all. This was the hardest of her demands. He had acknowledged this:
“You are teaching me that if I want anything I must beg you (my Mistress) for permission...otherwise go without. Thank you for teaching me your way Mistress.”
He knew she would take the the very breath out of him as only she could, he would accept it. He knew he might get scared, get stubborn but he would recognise the need to submit to all of her. He felt comfortable naked, he was wearing the chastity device she had sent him. He had not cum for fifteen days, while all these doubts were going on in his mind, as they had not been able to be together. The restraining, the abstinence were easy and helped him feel the submission but so was their conversation when she took him through his paces, challenged him. He would recognise her claims on him, always responding meekly, receiving his punishment well, and acting in total surrender. Yes, they complemented each other very well and feelings of possession, belonging and love had flourished.
He knelt by her chair and extending his hand and placed the leather belt on her lap. She remained motionless, didn’t say a word.
His need grew at the same time as his desire to run from it, to let it go. But he felt that this time she would also let go. It was destined to happen if things were kept going in the manner they were. No matter the feelings, the desire, the compromise – they both were not putting up with what they didn’t want in their lives. But could they let go of maybe their last opportunity, of what they had between them?
He crawled to the front of her chair and lowered his head to the floor, raising his bottom high and keeping his nose to the floor. This is what they had talked for a long time and had not happened. It was time now to mark for real what they wanted.
“I am sorry Mistress, I beg for atonement. I have never forgotten these days that I am just your slave, that this is why I am at your feet. I know my place is here from now on, please give this slut an opportunity to prove this. Forgive me my absence, my lack of words and lack of manners. Forgive me trying to impose my grief, it has no place in our relationship.
My desire is to be yours, “at your will, when you wish and as you wish”. Use the belt on me, make me grind myself on the dirt at your feet, let my tears and groans be soaked by the earth as you teach me my position. Let me stand your punishment as long as you wish, and later crawl behind you, kissing your heels as you walk ahead of me. There is no explanation to be given, I am your boy and you are my Mistress and I adore you. I must accept this now in real life and make it part of my understanding. I now know what you want – the meekness you desire, the humbleness. Please allow me to be totally owned by you.”
The night was full of the sound of submission, the afternoon rain had brought moisture and coolness to the evening. Except for the melodious night sound, she didn’t say one word. The silence remained for a long time but he didn’t move from his position, his nose to the ground. He knew that if he had to be like that all night, he would be. He knew this life was at stake. His heart felt it. And now he knew what he had always wanted.
Mistress looked at the figure, her eyes were determined, even in the wetness of her tears. She also knew what she wanted, she had sworn to live it and she was not backing away. She loved him and in real life she will give him that opportunity, hoping that he had finally understood. She knew it was incredibly difficult for him: different family, ways of living, even feelings were different. But she also knew that there was one thing clear between them – “Us”
She stood taking the belt in her hand and letting it fall on his ass, growing in the intensity, bringing him into that subspace that she wished he would always be in. She stopped, took off her clothes, naked she continued belting him and then would rub her vulva against the heat of his buttocks, she moved him as if she was fucking him, and then , and then..................
The noise the same noise as has happened every morning. He was awake and she was not there. It was the same dream he had had since last year though that felt a lifetime ago now. He sighed and paused the alarm, thought for a moment and remembered that she is always there, she always had been.
