Listening by Doc

“You’re not paying a bit of attention to me,” she shouted.  He mused that she was only partly correct.  He was indeed looking out the window at a sparrow on a twig, wondering where it had been sleeping last night, but he had programmed a part of his brain to wake up at the words, “I want…..”.  That was really the part that mattered anyway, right?

“I’m listening to you,” he said, not quite sure if that was true – or partly true.  “What is it you want me to do?”

“I want you to listen to me!”

He thought about that.  She was talking.  He wasn’t deaf.  Her words were flowing along in an uninterrupted stream.  Did that count as ‘listening’?  He decided it was best to agree with her to avoid upsetting her further.

“Sorry….. You were saying something about what Janet said and what you said and how she felt about somebody I don’t know, right?”

“I don’t know why I put up with you!” she said.  He knew the answer to that!

“Probably because I do what you want me to do and because I don’t argue with you.  I do my best to help out when you need me to do something.”  She glared at him.

“What I want now is your input!  What do you think?”  She waited.  This put him on a spot.  No thoughts came to mind except one, ‘Shit, I’ve gotta come up with a thought and I have no idea what she wants to hear.’  He knew better than to share *that* thought!  He decided it was time for a question in the (most likely vain) hope that she wouldn't catch on.

“Well, I think you and Janet need to talk”.  That was safe, surely!  He continued, “Don’t you agree?” Done – he hoped.
“Janet and I have done nothing but talk about Gloria.  I’m asking YOU what YOU think.”

He realized he’d failed.  He had to make up something fast about somebody whose name he didn't recognize.  He suspected he was actually supposed to know who ‘the third party’ was. ‘Damn!’ he thought.  He was stuck in a blind alley.  A sudden flash!  He spoke, trying desperately to change the topic.

“I just realized that you had mentioned a while ago that you wanted me to bring the bag of rice up from the car.  I forgot.  Sorry.”  He actually *had* forgotten to bring the heavy bag in.  One of his jobs was to bring the groceries in from the car and to put them away.

“You are worthless,” she stated emphatically.  Once again, he disagreed.  He was useful for bringing in the groceries, right?  There were a thousand others uses he had, too.  He once again kept his thoughts to himself.  He decided to simply nod in submission.

“Don’t you agree?”   She was pressing in.

“I think I have my uses, Miss.  Don’t I?”  He wasn't sure if this comment fell under the category of ‘arguing with me’ which was prohibited behavior – but it was the truth.  Somehow he didn't think being accurate would save him.

She shook her hair.  Her eyes were not reassuring him.  She then smiled.

“Don’t you find me attractive?” she asked in ‘that voice’.  He had recently found out to his amazement that she seemed doubtful about her own appearance.  He loved staring at her.  True, almost no actual sex, but half a glass in better than none….  For once he could be fully open and not have to hide part of his thoughts.

“You are very cute.  I love your ears.”  That was a private joke.  She had been somewhat doubtful when he had long ago told her of his admiration of her very sexy ears.  She thought it was hilarious the first time he’d told her, but was now totally comfortable with his peculiar bent.

“You and my ears.  Most men would comment on my breasts!”  She wasn't criticizing him.  She was just stating what they both knew to be true.

He hoped the interrogation regarding his thoughts about her interactions about her social life was over.  Please!  She spoke up again.

“We don’t have sex enough, I think.  You never pay any attention to me!”

He agreed on point one.  He would have to think about point two.  It seemed a lot of his time was spent trying to sort out content from long meandering monologues she frequently engaged in.  Did trying to figure out ‘what’s the point of all this talk’ count as ‘paying attention’?

He responded, “We can have sex whenever you want.  You know that!  I’ve never turned you down for that, have I?”

“You and your one-track mind!  The only thing you think about is sex.”  He knew that was a lie, but why argue about it.  When and if she decided she wanted sex, she just needed to say, “I want….”.  She hadn't said that in weeks.

Just then he looked out the window.  Now there were two sparrows on that bare twig.  He wondered if they were ‘paired’ or just thrown together by happenstance.   He now wondered where they both had slept last night.

His mind was now once again subliminally monitoring for the words, “I want….”.  So far, nothing appeared on the screen.  He then began to wonder if frogs and birds have sex and – if so – whether they were blessed or cursed by not being able to talk.

THE END