Choices by Doc

I did as I was told.  Bit by bit I learned how to do more and more.  When I hit a barrier, I sometimes invented a means or a method.  Sometimes I’d go online and search for information.  Sometimes I failed and learned ‘the hard way’.

She watched me.  My skills were at her disposal.  She sometimes used them.  Sometimes she did not.  She slowly began to rely on me and we occasionally discovered I knew how to do things whereas she did not.  I was dismayed to see her falling behind me as I grew and as she shrank.  It was reminiscent of a job I once had where all the sales staff shared information and taught each other while the management stood back – uninvolved and consequently ignorant.  Ultimately empty ‘suits’.

I didn't like the dynamic between me and her.  When I tried to teach her she felt I was being insubordinate.  I stopped trying to build her up.  She seemed happy.  The phrase ‘fool’s paradise’ kept playing in my mind.
 
Finally everything melted down when it became crystal clear that she had become dependent on me and that her orders made no sense – or worse that they resulted in disasters.  She had allowed her strengths to ebb away by not challenging herself.  She had fallen victim to the Siren’s Call of ‘comfort’.
 
We decided (jointly) that I was not good for her any more.  She needed someone less competent than she was.  She needed fools to surround her in her Fool’s Paradise.  I left.  It was a friendly parting.  She thought me insane to leave, but was convinced that I was replaceable.  I knew she would have to go through ten to find one as able as me – but I had better sense than to tell her that.  Some lessons are best learned in the crucible of hard knocks.

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My next lady was a better fit.  She challenged me to excel, but she was determined to always be my superior in fact as well as in name.  When I spent two hours, she spent four.  When I read a chapter of a manual, she memorized the entire volume!  When I learned a skill, she demanded I teach her everything I’d learned.  Then she went to learn from real experts. We competed.  She liked to win, but she liked to win fair and square.  She usually ended up doing everything better than me.  I admired her.  I respected her.  I obeyed her not because she demanded it, but because I couldn’t bear the idea of being thrown away by her as ‘unworthy’.

We knew that our relationship might eventually end.  Most do.  But I think we both knew that our friendship would outlast any ‘relationship’.  Even if I were not as good as she was in many areas, she knew I had strengths that could be useful to her.  She knew I had no problem with making her stronger and stronger, more knowledgeable and more knowledgeable.  I wanted her to thrive.  She wanted me to thrive.  We were bound by a respect more profound than titles or outward signs.  We were both real.

Reality.  No dream world.  No fool’s paradise.  Battle-hardened in the world of hard knocks.  Comrades in arms.  We were a perfect fit.  I don’t believe in love, but what we had was close to it.  Maybe better.