Anonymous Confession

I am one of the unowned subs, one of the quieter ones, who comes and goes and tries to help build and sustain The Dominion community.  You have probably seen me off and on, off to the back kneeling and listening.   I have friends, both on sub side, but mainly with the Dommes.  I have gotten to know several of them and they make me smile, laugh and that special feeling that only a dominant woman can produce.  That is the reason  come around, to the dances and to the events.  I think some perceive me as aloof or disengaged.  I am not partnered up (even though it has been close)

But there is another reason, really.  I hope to find that special someone.  That Domme that I can serve, make smile, feel proud and to enjoy the power, intimacy and connection that can exist between a Domme and Her sub.  It is my pleasure just to be in that relationship and to share the feeling, openness and honesty that it creates.  I have come close, and met some truly wonderful people.  But it wasn't meant to be.  Maybe it will come back and that spark we feel will grow again, but for now, the search continues.

But maybe people see me as boring.  I don't wear an animal avatar, I don't go crazy in the events or trials; I don't speak and say provocative things in the courtyard.  Most times I sit and listen, watch and observe.   and I don't have a Mistress to engage with here.

But ...and this is my confession... there is a deeply submissive and kinky side to me.   Scratch that hard cold surface, and a stew of sensual thoughts and desires resides within.  My fetishes are locked up tight, but they venture into things and places I haven't shared with anyone.  They maybe common kinks and fetishes on the vast menu of D/s, but I suspect that most of the Dommes here would be shocked, stunned and amazed that I was into that.  Total power exchange, name calling, total submission, cross dressing, pegging, forced bi, avatar control, speech and voice restrictions, all those sorts of power tools.  That is much different from what I share on my profile, in my chit chat or even in more in depth discussions.

You all know me, but what you don't know is that inside, there is a strange odd world swirling around waiting to be opened and exposed.  I have my crushes here, and some Dommes just blow me away.  I get shy and quiet and could never approach them,   I just hope they take a liking to my wit and personality and recognize that my attempts to engage them, however feeble and meek, are the ways I try to engage and attract you and try to give You what a sub can give.  And yes, I still have those crushes and still want to engage those women in my own oblique and halting ways.

I will continue my search for Her, my Dulcinea, my One.