Cam's Confession

Mistress has kept me chaste for a few weeks now. I couldn't say exactly how long. It's not something I keep track of calendrically. I certainly feel it biologically though. The constant tension in the scrotum, the inability to keep the mind from lustful diversionary thoughts.

I promised myself to her. I gave control of my orgasm to her. Not my libido though, not entirely. Sometimes it wanes, especially a week ago when I had a short but nasty summer cold. Though she does control it after a fashion. Every time she tells me how much she adores me, how she lusts after me, all the wicked and naughty things she will do to me, I respond. She makes me want her more.

So I don't cum. I wait instead. I wait for her to take her pleasure, to enjoy using me, teasing me, denying me. I enjoy it when we play, and when we don't; when we just spend the evening discussing dogs, or feminism, or just how fucked up the world is today.

I find ways to let her know how horny I am, how in need of release I am. Subtle clues, which I know she always picks up on. Just a devil smiley, or a slight swelling when I send her her morning property inspection photo. Little ways.

I never ever whine about how I've not cum. Sometimes even just letting her know I'm needy feels like whining, but we've discussed this and she wants to know - needs to know how I feel, how much I want and need her. Both for reassurance and to know when the time is right.

And when the time is right, she always goes out of her way to make it an utterly mind-blowing orgasm. So incredibly hot; making me spill my load, however long it's been, making cum all over the place. Leaving me satiated and thoroughly drained. But never ever losing my submission to her.

I used to do those things - whine and plead and forget to serve properly once my selfish lusts were done. But Mistress pulled me back, time and again. Slowly she trained me to accept and finally to embrace her rule, her control.

So yes, if it pleases her, I'd love to cum right now. But despite my trembling cock and pleading eyes, I won't ask. I'll wait.