Mistress introduced me to the concept of devotional sex quite early on in our relationship. For those of you who haven't heard the term before, the term can mean a lot of things, but is principally about having sex where the man provides the woman with orgasms, while letting her decide when he can cum, or not. There's supposed to be a lot of times that they couple where she gets to cum without him. This maintains the man's arousal and (hopefully) makes sex more fulfilling.
There's a concept of the woman being the "Queen" and the man being the "Prince"; he is subservient to her and honours her by pleasuring her. For the Prince to ask to cum is frowned upon as, in the spirit of chivalry, he is supposed to wait patiently until she allows him release.
I'd read this in a particular way. I'm already pretty submissive in terms of initiating sex, even when I want it desperately, but from the outset I read into it that the Prince wasn't to initiate, wasn't to request sex from his Queen.
That's the way it was for years between us. I'd wait patiently for Mistress to initiate sex. Never, thankfully, very long. Mistress loves sex even more than I do. But she craved more - she loves to know that she's desired and wanted. Having to take the lead all the time can be difficult.
That all changed recently, when we were reading a book which some of you may know - Uniquely Rika. I don't agree with everything in the book; some of it I actually find quite offensively sexist. I'm not going to go into the book at length here; you'll all I'm sure have read it and have your own opinions, both good and bad about it. What I did find fascinating though were the passages on devotional sex. They depict a version of it which was quite different to my understanding.
This is a world where the man can show his desire. He can initiate sex. He just. can't. cum. At least not when he pleases. I discussed this with Mistress and ... what a revelation.
All this time I've been missing that point. She wants to feel needed and wanted and *lusted after*. Initiating sex with her is one way I can do that. She wants me to show her I. want. Her.
I still can't cum when I want. I still can't ask to cum, at least not directly. I'm still the submissive. But I get to show her I want her. I get to initiate sex with her. She can of course refuse, and that's fine. I suspect she rarely will though - as I said, we both love sex so much.
There's a whole new world that just opened up to us. Keep looking, keep exploring, keep *thinking* and I'm sure you too will find new worlds of sex; whatever stage or however old your relationship is at.
0 comments:
Post a Comment