Submission by Anonymous

Up front, my apologies if this turns out to be long in length.

In the last couple of weeks, I've pondered what it means to be a sub, I've heard what it means to be a Domme, and I've thrown myself out to the wolves in a manner to better understand myself.

But throughout all of this, I've thought only little about what my true confession would be.... Not until tonight.... not until now.

As I think upon it, never has the princess by day, slut by night concept been more true in my life as it is now. I live a double life. There are the sights I allow those in my personal life see, and another that those who I only trust with my deepest darkest desires know. I'm an innocent guy, at least that's what most people see in me. I'm quiet, shy, reserved. I talk little and typically am lost in my own little world. That's not to say that I don't keep an eye upon my surroundings...

But I realize more and more as I delve into kink that that isn't everything to me. And I find myself yearning for something... more...

The deepest confession is my darkest sins. The desires that would make my relatives sick. It is the glorious sting of the whip and flogger, the loss of control at the hands of another, the screams and moans of the deepest throws of passion and lust, yeah.... we all have that dark side. But some more than others.

The more I descend in, the more I rise up. The more I find myself upon my knees, the more content I am to stay upon them. I find that our deepest desires lie upon the darkness of our souls, nay not they are dark, but that they are the very depths of which the human soul wants, Needs, LUSTS FOR to be filled with glorious light. And only in certain ways can they be filled. Ours just happen to lie on the more wild side of things.

It's taboo, reckless. It would alarm some people, and terrify others. But to fill a role as we do, simply takes a constitution that most people just don't have. They're frightened... frightened of my heretical behaviour.

They're frightened of me.

But they don't know it.

I wish to keep it that way...... for now.

All of You... You understand. You understand that this is who we are. You know how the world looks upon our savage delights. Oooo how wonderful they are..., but they shall never know because they fear it. We're different, and the world hates different. We lie outside the main stream, but somehow we revel in it.

And I start to understand it in the same way that I understand being a fur. It's just who I am... It's just who we are. In that I think is the deepest confession. Finding out who one is, and exposing it, enjoying it, not being ashamed for who I am, but instead to find those who understand and appreciate it.

It's that I've found here. It's why I keep coming back. The draw of friends who are willing to let one be who they are, there is no greater freedom. Freedom to be on my knees? To some that would seem more like a prison....

To me? It's the greatest freedom a sub could be honored with. That's my light in the darkness.