Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Man Cave by Anonymous

Man Cave

“Dear, it’s time to get in the car”
“The car Dear, it’s time to get in the car.”
“Sweetie, I told you last week we were going somewhere today, you forgot already?’
“I must have.  Can it wait till tomorrow?  The big game is on in an hour.”
“Oh, you will not miss the game.  I promise.”
“The last time you told me to get in the car like this you took me for a colonoscopy!”
“I had to just get you there Honey, you would not take yourself.”
“What is it this time?  A root canal?”
“No, no…please relax.  Your blood pressure will go sky high!”
“I knew it, you ARE taking me to the Doctors!”
“Dear, it’s time to get in the car”
“You know I hate surprises.”
“I know Darling but I am sure you will like this one.”
“Ok, ok, but this had better be fast.  I don’t want to miss the kickoff”

“Where are we?”
“It’s a new place.  Just opened a month ago.  Everyone is raving about it.”
“By EVERYONE you mean your girlfriends, right?”
“Yes, but they tell me that their husband loved it too, once they got here.”

“Wow!  Look at the size of that TV!”
“See. I told you it was not a root canal”
“Are those designer beers in that case?”
“Look!  There’s Frank over there on that leather couch.  I work with him.’
“Well, he looks happy.”
“Hey Frank!  You gonna watch the game?”
“Absolutely buddy, right here.  I am here for the duration.”
“Hey Honey, do you mind if I stay and watch the game with Frank?  I am sure you can find something to do with your friends.  Think of it as a days’ vacation from me.”
“Well, if you are sure you want to stay. "
“That’s ok, there is always the after game wrap up if you are a while.”
“Then, I think I might just take you up on that offer.  Thank you Dear.”

“Hello Ma’am, are you dropping off or picking up?”
“Dropping off please.  My girlfriends just rave about this place.”
“Well, that is very nice to hear, let me tell you your options.”

“The basic fee is $60 for four hours. This includes snacks and soft drink or water etc.  It does not include alcoholic beverages of course. “
Now if your man wants a beer or cigars there is an extra fee per item, I will give you our price list.”
“Thank you, I am sure he will want a beer or two.”
“If you need to board him over night he will have his own individual kennel, with his own 72 inch flat screen TV.  It is even equipped with a private urinal, right next to the tempurpedic cot so if he is the type that needs to get up during the night he won’t have to go more than a few inches!  It is one of the features that makes our place stand out from the competition”.
“Yes, better plan on an overnight stay.”
“The overnight includes a “manly-sized” dinner and a “lumberjack” breakfast.  Does he have any food allergies?
“Not that I know of.”
“The fee for a one night stay is $200.
“Wow, Isn’t that a little steep?”
“Well, yes Ma’am but it does include two meals, community play time, and nature walks.”
“Oh, okay, that works for me..”
“Aright, please fill out his form and include his doctor’s phone number, the name of an emergency contact and then sign it please.”.
“Thank you, I think this will work out very well, I will pay when I pick him up tomorrow?
"Of course, any extras will have been added to the bill by then.”
“See you tomorrow!”

“Oh!  Excuse me Ma’am I forgot to ask.  Do you want him bathed and groomed before you pick him up?”
“Yes, that would be lovely. Thank you again. Bye for now”


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