Tuesday, May 29, 2018

The Past by Anonymous

A confession, hmm where to begin?

Well, I suppose I should start at the beginning. I grew up in an er, let’s say dysfunctional household. My Father was an abusive drunk and my mother followed suit only without the alcohol.
I don’t have many memories of my childhood but unlike those who say that you block trauma from your memory as a defence mechanism, well I ONLY remember the trauma.

Anyway, I digress…. Back to the confession. Gosh this is harder than I thought as I have NEVER told anyone this. ……..

I ran away from the crap at home at the age of 14. I had mere pennies in my pocket but I figured anything was better than the life I was being forced to lead.

I met an older guy on my second day, after having walked around the city all night, cowering in doorways, sheltering from the cold. He was a lot older than me and I knew what he wanted but figured, Hey my Father and his dickhead mates had been taking it from me for free all these years, why not use the only thing I had learnt.

So I went with this guy and gave him what he wanted, but did not realize the danger that was ahead of me. From the second night I met him, he pimped me out to all and sundry. I was 14, alone in the city, scared, penniless and this guy was offering me food, shelter and money, although very little.

I stayed in that situation until I was 17 and I guess too ‘old’ for him and his cronies. I couldn’t/wouldn’t go home, had no money to leave and no friends. So one day he just threw me out on the street and again I was alone and penniless with nowhere to turn.

So, I continued to make money the only way I knew how for two years until I had saved enough to get a small apartment and then, with an address I got my first ‘real’ job’.
I never went back to the streets again.

Fast forward 30 years and I’m now a mother of three amazing kids, have a beautiful home and a fulfilling career.

I worked my ass off to never be in that position again and I have been fortunate enough to never have been.

I have never told ANYONE about my past, just that I left home at 14 to stay with extended family.

So please don’t judge me for who or what I was. See me for the person I am today. A strong, independent, loving woman who now works with vulnerable females.

I guess I know where they’re coming from, although I would never admit that.


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