Ordinary Being Extraordinary by Lady Tora

When Zarita asked me to write a confession about a woman or women who inspire me the first person that came to mind is my aunt T.  She is not a direct blood relation having married one of my mother's four brothers but at times she seems more related to me than some of the members that were born into the family.  She is kind, caring, compassionate, confident, quick-witted, intelligent, an avid reader, fiercely passionate about education and Canadian Literature, unselfish in any form, an optimist, possesses the ability to laugh at herself, reliable, a loving mother and wife, fabulous cook, and most importantly has this unwavering grace and poise even at the worst times of life.  Spending five minutes in her company and you would see just why we all love her so much but to show you how she inspires me I will have to retell the events that have happened in the last year.

Early in 2013, my aunt had finally been declared in remission of skin cancer that she had been battling on and off for the last few years.  During my aunt's battle, my grandmother's health had also taken a turn also.  She suffered a small stroke and  was diagnosed with the beginnings of dementia.  It become very clear that my grandmother could no longer take of herself and would need professional care.  So my aunt, even though this was not her mother, immediately began researching care facilities in the area, setting up tours and interviewing the directors of the facilities to see what each one offered.

The best turned out to be one about five minutes away from where my aunt lives in Oakville but there was a waiting list and there was growing concern that my grandmother really could not be alone; especially since everyone was at least a hour drive away from her.  So graciously and unselfishly, despite the ongoing battle she was having herself with cancer, she had my grandmother move in with her family until the spot opened up at the facility.  Once my grandmother was able to get her spot, my aunt visited her at least twice a week, even if my uncle could not accompany her, coordinated with the rest of the family members to ensure my grandmother was taken to her doctor appointments, church and whatever family events she was up for.

During this time, my aunt was promoted to Literature Coordinator with the Separate School board.  It was her dream job because she would be responsible to set the curriculum of literature for all grades across the district.  From the moment she was appointed she fought the board to ensure more Canadian literature and the classics in their full form were taught.  She also was diligent with her opinions to ensure funding still existed for the libraries in each school.  My grandmother's health continued to deteriorate and the dementia became worse; to the point my grandmother was quite difficult to deal with.  At times she was down right hostile but my aunt never complained, she continued to keep her visits and would call my mom to laugh about the silly things that would happen.

In the spring, my cousin S, my aunt's youngest child and only daughter began suffering from kidney stones.  She was in and out of the hospital for a couple of weeks.  She was released one day with the doctors thinking that she had finally passed all of the stones and on the road to getting back to normal.  However one had become lodged in one of the tubes leading from the kidney and her kidney began to shut down.  She was rushed back to the hospital and because the other kidney was being overtaxed, it too started to fail.  My cousin was rushed into emergency surgery to remove the blockage and then put on dialysis.  But she was not recovering; water was gathering around her heart and with the tax diabetes already takes on her body, it was starting to shut down.  It was my aunt who phoned us to tell us that S was back in the hospital and to ask us to pray she would recover because the doctors had just informed them that they did not expect S to live through the night.  My uncle could not make the call; my aunt was the one to phone all the family members.  That unwaivering grace and poise I talked about earlier was shown here.  Especially when the facility where my grandmother was called to have her rushed to emergency too.  My grandmother had such a rampant and resistant to treatment eye infection that she was in a great amount of pain and it was feared that she would lose the eye.  It was my aunt who left her daughter's side to met the facility member bringing my grandmother into the same hospital to ensure she was checked in properly and taken care of right away.

Miraculously my cousin made a full recovery and the hospital managed to get my grandmother's eye infection under control.  Both were released but a few short months later, my grandmother's health really turned.  Again it was my aunt who called my mother and stated that she felt she should fly in because the doctors were not expecting my grandmother to recover this time.  At my aunt's insistence, my mother stayed with them and my aunt took turns with other family members to ensure that my grandmother was never alone.  My grandmother died on July 25 at the age of 86.  My aunt helped with the arrangements of the funeral, taking care of the facility paperwork and the cleaning out of my grandmother's room  She helped arranged hotel rooms and transportation as the family members living outside the province all flew in for the funeral.  She insisted a big family dinner was held as her place after the wake on the Monday (July 29) and that we all come back to the house after the funeral mass on the Tuesday.  Because my grandmother was to buried in the family plot with my grandfather in London, a two hour drive from Oakville, her actual burial had to be on Wednesday.

It was a lovely day despite the sadness of the moment and after laying to rest my grandmother, we as a family went out for lunch.  It was during lunch that since most of us were leaving to go home either Friday or Saturday, my siblings and I convinced my cousin S to come to Canada's Wonderland with us the next day; unfortunately my other cousins all had to go back to work.  So bright and early we all headed out to Canada's Wonderland and had a fabulous time after spending the last few days in sad circumstances.  While we were waiting for my son and one of my brothers to come off one of the bigger roller coasters, S's cell phone rang.  It was aunt stating that we all to come home immediately; there was an emergency.  She was calm and composed but she would not tell us what the emergency was; we were just to come home now.

As fast as we could, we left the park and headed home.  On the way I phoned my mother and father and told them that we were to go to my aunt's house because there was some sort of emergency.  The car I was in beat the car that my cousin was in home.  As we piled out of the car and rushed to the front door my aunt met us on the front steps and asked for S to come in first; again she was calm and very composed.  When she realized my cousin was not with us and it was obvious it was going to be a bit before the other car arrived, she ushered us into the house.  My male cousins were there sitting in the living room and they could not make eye contact with us.  My aunt with that unwaivering grace and poise again told us that my uncle had been killed earlier that day in a car accident.  She did not immediately break down and cry until I embraced her to tell her how sorry I was that she had just lost the love of her life.

My aunt inspires me because despite having a flood of people come through the house over the next hour, including her daughter and my mother, she managed to stay composed and calm each time in order to deliver the news; she insisted that she be the one to tell everyone.  She inspires me because despite the sudden loss of my uncle, we spent the days leading up to the wake and funeral laughing and talking about the crazy things my uncle had done in his life and the silly things he had kept over the years from the kids growing up.  My aunt inspires me because despite after receiving the coroner's report stating that my uncle probably would have lived if the first responders had not made a critical mistake she holds no ill will or blame.  My aunt inspires me because when the head of the Fire and Paramedic department called her to offer his official apology after receiving the coroner's report and to give her instructions if she wished to file a claim against the department she informed him that she would not file a claim because she knew those who responded to my uncle's accident were acting to the best of their ability and that she would rather they used the situation in teaching new first responders so perhaps my uncle's death will prevent others in the future.  My aunt inspires me because despite all of the tragedy and heartache she has been through in her life, she still smiles and carries on without complaint.  My aunt inspires me because of the accomplishments she has made as an educator.  My aunt inspires me with her continued grace and poise no matter what is going on.  My aunt inspires me because she proves that anyone ordinary can be extraordinary.