Saturday, February 2, 2013

Confession by Heather


It took one notecard to establish a connection.

It took one eight hour conversation to find what I had lost within me.

It took one weekend for my smile to appear every time your name popped up in my window.

It took one week of holding back nothing. Pouring my heart out and listen to your story.

It took one month for me to realize how much I wanted to be yours.

It took two months before I was, undoubtedly, yours.

It took three months for the walls to crumble down.

It took four months to completely destroy my faith in you.

I feel as if I gave you a part of me, that now lingers in nothingness.

I feel as if I trusted you, way before I even truly knew I could.

I feel as if a part of me is missing and I cannot phantom the words to describe what it is.

I feel as if I have no right to be angry, no right to be disappointed and no right to be hurt.

But I am. You shook me to my very core. You said yourself, we had only just begun. We would take our time.

I feel like every time I gather up the courage to go down this road, there are roadblocks preventing me from exploring what lays ahead.

I know I will wait, because I want an answer.

I want to know that my faith in you, was not a mistake.

I want to know that my trust in you has not been breached.

I want to know that you still want me.

Because right now, at this very moment, I feel unwanted and used. I have been there too many times. I cannot go down that road again.

There are people who say that Second Life is just a game. If that is true, why does it feel as if with every passing day, my heart gets torn to shreds a little bit more? People are clueless.

Because if Second Life is a game, I think I just lost.

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