Saturday, December 8, 2012

A Confession By Jordan

i am Danika's. She is my Mistress. i am Hers, and Hers alone. i have not always been that. It is a statement of identity still fresh and new after two years, utterly at odds with how i had experienced the world to date. In that other world – the one i inhabit out of circumstance and necessity – i am the leader, the Alpha, the boss. i am the “intimidating”, iconic leader whose direction they take and follow willfully. In that other world, I have the “Power” to command that is the equal of the kings of old. They serve by my will, and willingly follow the “confident”, “daring” and “focused” leader who so ably charts their course. The other night, Mistress took me to a dance at the Dominion. As we danced, She told me of a Lady who had done Her a small kindness. i asked Mistress if i might be allowed to reach out to the Lady to thank Her for Her consideration and kindness. She granted me that privilege. In the discussion that followed, the Lady recognized who i was, and exclaimed: "Oh! you're Danika's boy!!" I broke into a smile, and felt a surge of warmth and pride in my chest. To be recognized as Mistress' property, in such a positive light, was a great joy to me. To have my comments received so positively...was to honor Mistress. But as i reflected more, i reflected on how it felt to be called Her “boy”. My emotions were mixed, frankly. While i was clearly proud to be seen as Hers, i wondered what the Lady would think of the man in that other life. Could he have been so easily dismissed as a mere “boy”? In a moment of arrogance, i thought not. And then it struck me what an irony it is to live two such divergent lives at once…to be seen as such a “leader of men” in the one life, and so easily labeled a “boy” in the other. And in that moment, the realization hit me, and i smiled as i reflected on these truths: • In that other world, i do have power…position…authority…control • In Mistress’ world, I have made the sublime choice to surrender that power to Her…to Her alone, unique and unrivaled • The greatest gift is that which, of great value, is given freely, and from the heart…when it is a matter of pure choice to offer it…and when the cost of all you give up to offer it is something dear. My submission is that gift, given to Mistress exclusively and with a free and open heart. i am Hers, and i can only hope that the honor is greater still by the choices made. These are the words in my head: “There is no greater strength than that shown by a man…who will bend his knee to a higher purpose.” Mistress is my purpose, and it is to her honor that i so gladly bend my knee.

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